In the latest chapter of The Queen’s Pubes, young John finds himself preparing for a humiliating public apology—but the day takes an unexpected twist. As stories spiral and “porky pies” turn into full-blown fantasies, John navigates the playground myths, identity-building, and the strange allure of bending reality. Enter Feltham Cane, a self-declared “Green Ranger” with a Dragonzord and a flair for embellishment, who threatens to turn make-believe into mayhem. From his grandparents' wartime breakfasts to the chaos of Clapham playgrounds, this episode is a journey into the weird, wild world of childhood lies.

In the noisy chaos of 80s Clapham, John navigates life as a young kid learning the ropes in a single-parent household. With a mum who’s doing her best and a mixed group of friends by his side, he explores the ups and downs of year one—complete with his first big crush. But when an attempt to impress goes hilariously wrong, John starts to wonder if he might just be operating on a slightly different frequency than the other kids.

In this semi-autobiographical comedy, British comedian John Kerr delves into the surreal and absurd last conversation he had with his father—a man whose tales included spiritual connections with Princess Diana and poker winnings that seemed to defy common sense and the law. From unlikely premonitions to wild stories of contraband, John explores the eccentricity of life, love, and legacies with his signature wit. Growing up in the colorful chaos of 80s and 90s Clapham, he introduces listeners to the unforgettable characters that shaped his world: sharp-tongued grandparents, unfiltered childhood memories, and a fair share of paranormal oddities. As John prepares for fatherhood, he mines the humor and absurdity of his past, proving that comedy can be found in the most unexpected places.