The New Ark
The New Ark
Elliot Connor & Joe Wilkins
Fun fact: the Earth's about to explode. So we've launched The New Ark podcast to pick which animals to save, sailing through space to find Earth 2.0. New episodes each Friday. Follow along @newarkhives to leave your votes. All complaints in white ink. No refunds or returns. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Flothrowy
In this season finale: a special guest, flies as pets, a productivity hack with hanging anvils and how to catch Kristen Bell. Flies, crows and sloths battle for the final place on the ark. Elliot, Joe and Saf plan how to have 500 children. Same old nonsense. See you next season! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jun 11, 2023
57 min
Camels
This episode: the new ark does drinking games, Joe shares wisdoms on pee consistency and Elliot readies arson charges. Also: the camel that shot its owner. Just cos'. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Jun 2, 2023
40 min
Leeches
This week on Ark the musical, we invent leech porn. What a climax. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 26, 2023
34 min
Crows
This episode: anti-rabbit lighthouses, why you might marry a dead person, and how crows are really the McDonalds mafia. Joe goes on record advocating for adultery and Elliot reveals a cunning plan to explode crow's heads with a murder mystery. Bidding for the film rights will start at £5 million. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 19, 2023
43 min
Crabs
In this episode: Joe gets burgled and Elliot names an STD after himself for SEO. Also: how many legs can a crab lose before it's no longer a crab? This and other age-old questions will not be answered. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 12, 2023
44 min
Ducks
The show that will get Elliot cancelled. The darkest ep. to date. Where Joe admits the animal he's defending is a despicable serial rapist. Nuff said. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
May 5, 2023
31 min
Flies
Introducing the all new ark spin-off show, Films We Haven't Watched. Talking about movies we couldn't be arsed to see. With cameos from penis swords, walking zebra murals and awkward pauses... ... ... ... ... ... ... lots of awkward pauses ... ... ... ... ... ... also flies. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Apr 28, 2023
43 min
Tigers
This week, Joe's being haunted and Elliot's high as a kite. But it's Tony the trouser-ripping tiger in the spotlight. You know that dude's over 70 years old and still creeping into kiddies' homes on cereal packets; definitely not giving off any paedophile vibes. 3, 2, 1, clap. Bye! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Apr 21, 2023
49 min
Owls
Joe thinks owls are dead boring. Elliot spent a month in France saving their asses. But whoever said fight for what you believe in didn't while away his finite time before the grave recording drunken ramblings about space arks and raining cats. That's a fact. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Apr 14, 2023
50 min
Moths
They're the mortal enemy of sharks, bees, elephants, Godzilla and Elliot. But special guest Leanna's determined to get them a space on the moth-ership. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Apr 7, 2023
55 min
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