A widespread conundrum that can negatively impacts the self-esteem level of people of all shapes and sizes is taking SHIT too personally, wearing your heart on your sleeve. Someone looks at you the wrong way. Someone had an attitude with you. Someone rudely bumped into you at the grocery store. Why the fuck is everyone out to get me this week? When people disrespect you or treat you poorly, t’s easy to take their actions and/or words personally, especially when you’re already in a rut to begin with. The benefit of not taking shit so personally is that you remain in control of your emotions, reaction, and energy. The SHIT we’re talking about here is other people’s emotions, reactions, and energy! The SHIT you have absolutely no control over. Unconsciously, we usually automatically assume that what someone else says or does was targeted at us specifically. It’s not uncommon to take SHIT out of context here and there. Taking SHIT personally is emotionally draining, and needless, counter-productive, constant reassessment of your self-worth and confidence. There's a difference between being introspective and continually taking snubs personally, one is beneficial and lends itself to personal growth, the other is the opposite. Quote: “When someone is cruel, harsh, mean, to not take their words personally is one thing, but to hear the silent cry within those words is another. This sort of perspective can not only liberate us from crippling self-doubt in the face of criticism, it can also liberate us from automatically becoming blind participants in the interaction patterns that the cruel person has become accustomed to—a favour we do for the other person as much as for ourselves.” ― Vironika Tugaleva It’s probably time you realize that EVERYTHING isn’t about YOU. You are not the center of the universe, even if Mommy told you otherwise . . . It’s very easy to convince yourself that criticism you receive are receiving is a personal attack. But it may simply be that you were dealing with the wrong person, at the wrong time, in the wrong place. Here are a few ways to stop taking things personally! Don't Jump To Conclusions. Let Things Go. Stop Worrying So Much About What Other People Think of You. Recognize the “Spotlight Effect”. Stop Giving Your Power Away. Learn to block out the bullshit and channel the good shit. Lions don’t lose sleep over the opinions of sheep! https://mruddo.com Visit TakeCareOf.com and Enter Code MRUDDO50 for 50% OFF!
Social media is addictive. We’ve all read articles, studies and blog posts about the harmful effects of overindulging on social media. Researchers and experts in the industry have compared mobile phones to gambling VIA slot machines. "It's a popular addiction right now, one of the still socially acceptable ones," says Laurie Gerber, an expert life coach of the Handel Group. It can be fun but also maddening. It can make you feel less alone, but also trigger feelings of loneliness and incompetence. If you’re spending a lot of time on social media, it can be hard to imagine a daily routine without it. Taking a break from social media is a fantastic way to reconnect with the people and activities that truly uplift and motivate you. Use the time you’d otherwise be wasting on social media to read, write, work-out, and spend time with loved ones. You’ll get more work done, faster. Quote: “When it comes to social media, there are just times I turn off the world, you know. There are just sometimes you have to give yourself space to be quiet, which means you’ve got to set those phones down.” – Michelle Obama I can understand why it may sound daunting or even unnecessary to do a cleanse for those of us who spend a lot of time on these platforms. However, I strongly encourage you to give it a go. Here are SIX SIMPLE STEPS to a SUCCESSFUL SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX. 1) TRACK YOUR HABITS: Try keeping a detailed record of your social media habits for one week, as is. Don’t do ANYTHING differently from what you’d typically do, to establish a baseline or control. Then, quit for one week and note how you feel while being detached from it. 2) Develop a schedule to cut back slowly but surely on your social media use. 3) Detox with a buddy: Having someone to hold you accountable can make all the difference. 4) Put a rubber band around your phone. Catherine Price, author of How to Break up With Your Phone and founder of Screen/Life Balance stated: “When you reach for your phone, there is now a physical obstacle that snaps you out of autopilot for a second and encourages you to reflect on what you’re doing.” 5) Make those around you aware of your SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX plans. 6) Redesign your lock screen. What for? Why now? What else? If you’ve gone through a social media cleanse and have experienced great benefits from it, please share your thoughts with me on social! https://mruddo.com Visit TakeCareOf.com and Enter Code MRUDDO50 for 50% OFF!
Have you ever felt like the whole world was conspiring against you?! Your job sucks. Your bank account is dwindling. Your spilled coffee all over your favorite shirt. Your friends don’t invite you out anymore. You probably feel used, abused, rejected, and depressed. Maybe you even feel like you deserve to suffer. Peace, success, and happiness seem so, so, so FAR AWAY. To tie a bow on this trail of misery, you’re a perpetual victim. Victimhood is an inescapable reality for you. But what if you didn’t have to feel like this anymore? What if you could put an end to the suffering? Could you imagine how your connections, profession and wellbeing would FLOURISH?! Being victimized can come in all shapes and forms. You could have your trust betrayed by someone near and dear to you, you could be a victim of a horrible crime, you could be a victim of your own mindset. We all have people like this in our lives, or maybe it’s you that operates under this pessimistic belief system; always bitching about how they were harmed by the system, or by someone else. As if they have NO WILL-POWER and others are rejecting them what they need, want, and deserve. Everyone is out to get them. They were fucked from the jump. “To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness."— Eckhart Tolle There are PLENTY OF THINGS you can do when you choose to be a VICTOR, not a VICTIM. 1. Identify and Confront Limiting Beliefs: If our beliefs, our internal dialogue, are disenfranchising and mostly negative, it will NO DOUBT produce feelings of helplessness and vulnerability. You must first discover the source of your victimhood. 2. Practice Gratitude: There’s no time to be a victim when you’re busy practicing gratitude. The strongest willed people I know are the ones who are grateful for even the hard times, because they understand that through experience, they gain wisdom and perspective. 3. Shift YOUR Mentality from Victim to Survivor: Shitty things happen to the best of us. They say God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers. Tough times make tough people. There’s a million fucking sayings, you get the point. BEAUTIFUL FUCKING THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. https://Audible.com/mruddo https://mruddo.com
Have you ever heard the origin story of the Nobel Peace Prize?! Alfred Nobel paradoxically was the visionary behind the Nobel Peace Prize, which has been awarded 962 times since 1901. While Nobel’s award fund would ultimately become famous, there’s no refuting that he was an unlikely source for a peace prize. His family name was “associated not with the arts of peace but with the arts of war.” What encouraged the “dynamite king” to donate his fortune to charity? Many believe it was inspired by a case of mistaken identity. In 1888, Nobel’s brother Ludvig had died in France from a heart attack. Credited to poor reporting, at least one French newspaper believed that it was Alfred who had perished, and it proceeded to write a blistering obituary that branded him a “merchant of death” who had grown rich by forming new ways to “mutilate and kill.” The mistake was later remedied, but not before Alfred had the horrible experience of reading his own death notification. According to biographer Kenne Fant, Nobel “became so obsessed with his posthumous reputation that he rewrote his last will, bequeathing most of his fortune to a cause upon which no future obituary writer would be able to cast aspersions.” Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you. – Shannon Alder Nobel lives on through his legacy and receiving a shocking reminder of the inevitability of his death helped him to get there. His story also illustrates how avoiding a negative legacy can be more motivating than simply wanting to build a positive one. To create a powerful legacy with your life, you need to decide what contribution you want to make to the world. I suggest spending some time journaling and reflecting on the following questions: What does it mean to you to create your living legacy? What contribution do you want to make to the world? If you knew with certainty that you only had ten more years to live, how would you spend those years, and why? What message do you want to send with your life to the world and to those who matter most to you? Imagine that you are attending your own funeral. What would you want your family and friends to say about you and how you lived your life? Knowing what’s important, what drives you, and how you want to be remembered creates tremendous clarity in how you should live your life— and how you’ll eventually impact others. https://Audible.com/mruddo https://mruddo.com
If you suddenly passed away today, would someone come looking for you?! Would anyone wonder where you disappeared to? Would your dog eat you? How long would it take for someone to come knocking down your door to find you? One can only hope it’s ASAP. It’s a strange thought, but one we’ve all confronted in the past in one form or another, usually at our lowest low point. For one woman, this scary thought experiment was a grim, unfortunate reality. On January 25, 2006, members of a housing association in northern London were heading out to repossess an apartment that hadn’t paid it’s rent for a LONG TIME. They made their way into the living quarters and found a horrifying scene before them—a bunch of unopened Christmas presents on the floor, a stack of unopened mail by the door, a television set to the BBC network…and a skeleton lying on the couch. Quote: “The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald Could you imagine how Joyce Carol Vincent felt in her final moments?! Her world collapsing around her with no one and nowhere to seemingly turn to. Loneliness is a WIDESPREAD, global crisis. Sociologists have found that nearly 15% of Americans will die alone, and that figure will continue to increase over the coming years. In various surveys in both the United States and Europe, anywhere from 30% to 60% of the populace reports feeling lonely and/or says that they have little to NO meaningful in-person interactions. Re-imagining and re-purposing YOUR spare time is ESSENTIAL. When we feel lonely, sometimes we just want to retreat into a corner and escape from the world. Choosing to stay in solitude night after night with our phones, watching TikTok dances, or playing 8-Ball Pool w/ Viktor from Bulgaria can really get us stuck in a dangerous pattern of loneliness. -Join an Interest Based Local/Community Group/Club -Volunteer Remotely or in REAL LIFE -Nurture Existing Relationships -Engage in Positive Internal Dialogue Feeling lonely is temporary – it’s not a permanent state, unless you allow it to be. productive manner. Have you ever experienced loneliness? I would love to hear your tips for coping with loneliness that you found successful. https://Audible.com/mruddo https://mruddo.com
Whether you are the central decision maker at your business, the Head Nurse on the frontlines of the healthcare system, the team captain of your college basketball team, or the CARETAKER of your FAMILY unit . . . YOU NEED to stay healthy and functioning optimally 100%, 100% of the time. Your network, your universe, your PEOPLE, NEED you to be on top of your game, in tip top condition as it relates to your health, and more specifically, your immune system. The idea of enhancing your immunity is terribly exciting, but the capability to do so has proved mysterious for several reasons. There is still much that researchers don't know about the intricacies and interconnectedness of the immune response. Researchers who are WAY SMARTER THAN ME are studying the effects of diet, exercise, age, psychological stress, and other factors on immune response. Quote: Nature is a numbers game. We need all the support we can get as our immune systems and health are under assault from pollution, stress, contaminated food and age-related diseases as our lifespans increase. – Paul Stamets My first bit of advice is to ESCAPE, RELAX, DE-STRESS! Experiencing consistently high levels of stress, AKA chronic stress that’s frequent and long lasting, is detrimental to your overall health. The second gem I’d like to talk about is getting your groove on, AKA a bit of boom-boom or freaky time, whatever weird, awkward euphemism you’d like to use. The third dose of information I want to touch on is DIET. I encourage you to EAT THE RAINBOW, like my friend Xandra who’s a Fitness/Nutrition Guru always says! NUMBER FOUR is to pare back on the booze, partner! Trust me, I love an OLDE FASHIONED, COLD IPA and/or Shot of Reposado w/ a Twist more than most, but alcohol isn’t doing your immune system ANY FAVORS. Number FIVE is super important, and I don’t mean to sound like your Mom, but DRINK MORE WATER. A fluid in your circulatory system called lymph, which carries important infection-fighting immune cells around your body, is largely made up of water. Finally, NUMBER 6, last but not least, is engage in moderate exercise. You don’t have to become a body builder or Olympic athlete, 30 minutes per day should do the trick. With the Coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic, it’s especially important to understand that no supplement, diet, or other lifestyle modification other than physical distancing, also known as social distancing, and proper hygiene practices can protect you from COVID-19. https://mruddo.com For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code MRUDDO50.
You are YOUR own worst enemy. How many times have ya heard that one over the years?!? In the process of manifesting the life you truly desire; we very often can’t get out of our own way. Whether we want to find love, lose weight, or complete a creative project, we can very easily find ways to self-sabotage. Self-sabotage involves characteristics and/or emotions that keep you away from what you desire most in life. It’s that inner sentiment eating away at us, saying “you can’t do this.” At some point, we all experience self-doubt, even successful business owners, professional athletes, uber famous celebrities, etc. A bit of self-doubt is not only expected, but also healthy. It’s a part of human nature. But highly successful people don't let self-doubt derail them from what they set out to accomplish. You may be wondering, “What is the origin of such self-sabotaging behavior?!” “What the fuck is making me have all of these doubtful thoughts?!” It arises when your conscious and subconscious mind are stuck at a crossroads. Quote: Addiction, self-sabotage, procrastination, laziness, rage, chronic fatigue, and depression are all ways that we withhold our full participation in the program of life we are offered. When the conscious mind cannot find a reason to say no, the unconscious says no in its own way. - Charles Eisenstein In this episode of The Motivation Movement, we'll unpack exactly why you might engage in self-sabotaging behavior and I'll offer you FOUR strategies to help you overcome this habit. By moving into a more consistently positive frame of mind, you can stop self-sabotage and begin to manifest the fulfilling life you desire and deserve. #1) Connect w/ YOURSELF to Build Self-Awareness: Self-awareness is extremely powerful and will help you to develop a better understanding of what triggers your feelings of self-doubt and tendency to self-sabotage. #2) Fake it Until You Make It: As impossible as it may seem on those days where you’re seemingly overcome with self-doubt and negative emotions, just give it a dam shot, TAKE ACTION. #3) Stop Asking for Validation & Permission: Asking others for help is helpful, sometimes necessary, but don’t let the opinions of others slow you down, because opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one! #4) Discover Your Strengths: You’re more likely to kick thoughts of self-doubt and self-sabotage if you’re in your comfort zone. https://mruddo.com For 50% off your first Care/of order, go to TakeCareOf.com and enter code MRUDDO50.
The idea of the four temperaments traces back to an Ancient Greek notion that there were four underlying, essential bodily humors (blood, yellow bile, black bile, and phlegm) which could cause disease and infection if they were out of balance. The terms sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic were invented by the Greek physician Aelius Galenus to define the effect of these humors on human behavior. This idea is perhaps one of the oldest that concepts that begins to develop a medical theory on personality. This theory is still popular today, widely used in the fields of management, psychology, and leadership. Being cognizant of these temperaments and understanding how they operate can assist with social interactions and communications. Analyzing these dynamics can help us become more self-aware and assess how teams function together, for example. To determine which temperament type I leaned towards most, I took the OSSP Four Temperaments Scale TEST on OpenPsychometrics.org, which is a free and open-source measure designed to match the taker to one of the four temperaments. After answering 24 question, you receive a “score” from 1-24 on each of the four temperament types. My score for Choleric was 6, Melancholic was 5, Sanguine was 19 and Phlegmatic was 12. Quote: I think we judge talent wrong. What do we see as talent? I think I have made the same mistake myself. We judge talent by people's ability to strike a cricket ball. The sweetness, the timing. That's the only thing we see as talent. Things like determination, courage, discipline, temperament, these are also talent. – Rahul Dravid As discussed in Episode #077 of The Motivation Movement, it’s no easy task to completely shift our temperament from negative to positive, but we can take action to make progress towards a more desired state of mind and life in general. When asking ourselves “how can I control my temperament?”, understanding your natural disposition is crucial. So, let’s dive into the FOUR different types of TEMPERAMENT . . . Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic and Phlegmatic! The SANGUINE personality type is described mainly as being highly talkative, enthusiastic, active, and social. Choleric individuals tend to be more extroverted. They are described as independent, decisive, goal-oriented, and ambitious. Melancholic individuals tend to be analytical and detail-oriented, and they are deep thinkers and feelers. They are introverted and try to avoid being singled out in a crowd. The Phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. Phlegmatic are referred to as “the watcher” — they are best in positions of unity and mediation, and solid in positions that desire steadiness. https://mruddo.com
We’ve all been there at one time or another: stuck in limbo. The unknown is a frightening place to be, and can leave you feeling powerless, defeated, and helpless. How do we develop the life skills to navigate through the unknown? How do we maintain control in a completely undefined environment? Do these unusual conditions which possibly lie ahead occupy your headspace often? Our brain has a negativity bias which is tricky to manage, coping with unanticipated events is difficult enough without our brain compounding and amplifying the worst possible imaginable scenario. The equivalent of Google searching what a pain in your left-hand pinky could mean and assuming you have a fatal, terminal disease based off a WebMD generalization. Quote: “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment, and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.” – Gilda Radner Delicious ambiguity . . . PERFECT! Life is about the journey, not the destination. You’ve heard it a million times. We struggle to understand WHY certain events take place in our live, till weeks, months or years later it all seems so clear. Uncertainty is not “bad” in itself; it’s our tolerance of the unknown that defines our reaction and the ensuing impact on our life. The best way to deal with ambiguity is to build up your tolerance. Here are FOUR ways to accomplish this. 1. Change Your Expectation to PLANS! 2. Boost Your EMOTIONAL Intelligence 3. Become MORE Flexible and Adaptable 4. Preemptively Practice Meditation and Mindfulness Learning to live with uncertainty is one of the great challenges of life. By no means is this a simple challenge, but it’s essential to conquer in order to living a fulfilled, stress free life. Welcome novelty and thrill which go hand and hand with uncertainty by asserting your belief to move through it with ease. The key takeaway is to reveal yourself to the unknown, the random uncertainty of life, by building up a tolerance to it. Life is chock-full of uncertainty; we’ve just got to learn to live with it. Take advantage of the unknown. Plan for the unknown. Embrace the unknown. https://mruddo.com
Why does time feel like it moves so much faster as you age? Maybe, when you’re young, the novelty of everything you experience being so new and fresh is what grounds us to the present, the here and now. Every day is an adventure. Every day we learn something new. When you grow and turn into an old fart, everything seemingly becomes less exciting. Repetition sets in. Everyday feels the same. You went from life in the fast lane, high speeds, to slow and steady cruise control. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but the truth is, you’re living life on autopilot. Living life on autopilot becomes dangerous when we go with the motion too much, with no resistance at all. It’s almost as if we lose consciousness of our experience being so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. One day you snap out of it and realize: “HOLY SHIT, time is moving really fast and I’ve been doing the same damn thing every fucking day for the past 8 months. I haven’t paid attention to my health, my spirit, my mind, my needs and my dream.” We’ve been conditioned to think less and do more. Quote: Very often, human beings are living like on autopilot, reacting automatically with what happens. What interests me about the life of an explorer is you are in the unknown; you are out of your habits. – Bertrand Piccard When we live on autopilot, it feels like someone else is driving, not us. Signs You’re Living Life on Autopilot: - Does every day seem like a blur to you?! - Are you always busy and on-the-go?! - Do you mindlessly scroll through social media? - Are you dreading the monotony of every day life?! How to STOP Living Life on Autopilot: - Slow the F*CK down, relax and reflect. - Bring meaning and intention to every day activities. - Get out of your comfort zone! - Challenge yourself, push it to the limit. https://mruddo.com