The Look & Sound of Leadership

Tom interviews Dr. Lois Frankel about women in the workplace and other ideas in the just-published third edition of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office. Listen to the full, unedited conversation here. Get the “Nice Girls” book, here. If you’re curious about a chemistry call, pop Tom an email. There are always more resources in our monthly email. COACHES! You are always welcome at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. Reach out to ...

Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned. Tom’s top four idea for conquering nervousness: Write happy endingsCelebrate incremental improvementExternalize your nasty voiceIgnore your nervesApplying these techniques using our free PDF about mastering nerves. The clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety before a global audience is here. Each month, we share additional tools in our m...

A leader is getting pressured to stop being so prickly and gain some humility. With her coach, she explores whether it’s even possible for humility to ever be a strength. Core concepts in this episode: Humility is confidence without defensiveness.Assess yourself on the humility scale. “How do I respond to challenges?”Humble leaders are confident in their authority.Ask frequently: “How might I be wrong about this?”Humility requires active listening. Questions addressed in this episode...

A chief officer is infuriated by the behavior of his egomaniacal CEO. With his coach, he explores how to be a healthy leader while reporting to a boss he doesn’t respect. Core concepts in this episode: Egomaniacs rattle our sense of self.They will not change.Worrying does not help.Be accountable for how you show up. Manage yourself.Don’t take anything personally. They’re just a piece on a chess board.Ask yourself: “Am I seeing this person clearly?” Don’t allow emotions to drive your actions.A...

A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient. Download our free tool that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan. Core Concepts Prioritizing professional development is hard. The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person. The three conversations in summary: Define ‘what,’ ‘w...

After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick. Core ideas in the episode: Workplaces improve when positive feedback is presentOur natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback.Learn to notice when things go well.Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work.Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental. Positive...

A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe. Core ideas in the episode: Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally.You are not a victim. You have choice.Document repeated bad behavior.Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team.As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes.Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do di...

Concerned his introversion makes him less effective, a corporate vice president asks for coaching – from an extrovert! Together, the coach and client explore ways to assure his introversion is a strength. Myers Briggs Type Indicator assesses four preferences. One is Introversion and Extroversion. Download a free sample of the profile report here. The six tools unpacked in this episode are: Manage your energyMonitor your self-talkHave ideas readyManage your calendarShar...

A leader with a direct report who is, she says, the most defensive person she’s ever known, devotes an entire coaching session to gathering tools to help her cope. All the tools and ideas and scripts in this episode are in an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements. Dig into more tools for managing defensive people in our podcast library in these three categories: Communication Skills Management Skills R...

Still traumatized over an angry explosion she’d aimed at an abusive leader years before, a leader asks her coach to help her access healthy assertion to use during moments of conflict. Where are you on the assertion scale? Our assessments will tell you. In the episode, ASSERTION got divided into two skills: AWARENESS and EXPRESSION. The four-step script to build healthy ASSERTION is: SituationFeelingWantOutcome Part of assertion is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE. Our tool defines ...