The (In)Expendables: The Worst D&D Podcast

We're back! The gang enters the phantom puppet theatre of the douchey Count Dookin and engage in some deadly improvisational scene work. More shenanigans with Charm Person. Guest starring Becca Howell as Portia Tosscobble!  The puzzles in this episode can be found in Tasha's Cauldron of Everything and is the intellectual property of Wizards of the Coast. We use them for funzies.  

Last episode's cliffhanger ending is resolved. What was supposed to be a short exposition scene goes off the rails and becomes and entire episode. Enjoy! DM's Note: Yes, we fudged the "Charm Person" rules a bit in this episode for storytelling purposes. It was too funny not to. 

CW: Butt Stuff Out of game, Becca Howell, the winner of our first ever NPCeepstakes, joins us for the first of many episodes! We also have a new #podcastsabotage in this episode.  Also...could our Belgian fans just be Americans with VPNS? We sure hope not. In game, the gang makes it to Portage Ford, but a strange phenomenon awaits them. Muzak and Zeb throat sing to an ancient deity. Mirish makes a cool addition to their leather jacket. Da Fin Poe longs to become whole again. Exactly how old is Nalvan?  Follow us on social media: Instagram- @inexpendablespodcast Twitter- @ExpendablesIn Email us at [email protected]  Please like, subscribe, and review wherever you get your podcasts! (But especially Itunes)

CW: Talk of and humor around suicide. Out of game, Rory spoils The Dresden Files. In game, the gang discovers they have powerful stage whispers. Zeb and Mirish go full blown murder hobo. Da Fin Poe goes full blown John Cena. Revenge is dish best served bloody. Additional sound effects courtesy of zapsplat.com   

The gang rides out of Lo Santa Villa to make their way towards Druid Con, but they run into some trouble along the way.  Nalvan steals a dictionary and is finally able to exchange his crotchless unitard. Horses are given names, and someone's head explodes...literally.

The first episode of the second arc of the campaign! The gang deals with the aftermath of the revelations from the temple. Mirish and Da Fin try to figure out command words for their new magic items. Members of the gang open up about their struggles learning to read. Zeb gets feisty.

Out of game: We put our knowledge of Adam Sandler movies to the test. In game, it's the end of our first arc! A head is reunited with its body. Da Fin and Muzak get in touch with their feelings. Secrets are revealed. Zeb mourns an icon. Mirish pees their pants...a lot. Nalvan and Muzak admit their love for The Giant Eagles. 

Out of game: Mike doesn't know "Belgian" isn't a language, Jordan knows an awful lot about getting eaten by a giant toad, and Dave provides some helpful audio descriptions. In game: The gang finds the most awkward and convoluted way to get over an acid pit. Muzak uses the Body Oil of Levitation. Mirish finally remembers a familiar spell.

Out of game, Dave learns what happens when you take a bathroom break in the middle of recording. In game, the gang returns to the sewers in search of the secret temple. They are once again reminded that they were not the first choice for their mission, so they bust out some pretty interesting "2nd choice" trivia to puff themselves up (and to annoy the DM). Also, Zeb and Muzak try to biologically classify a souffle. Additional sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com  

Out of game: we discuss the #cornbread mystery, ancient dire wolves in Ohio, and taking credit for the return of sea shanties to popularity.  In game: The gang heads into the sewers in search of The Cult of the Deep Dark One, and finds themselves in a "shitty" situation.