John tells Carmen about crashing at his fat, wealthy aunt's mansion, only to discover the pool is a no-go zone thanks to a broken cage and lurking gators. Then Carmen and John dive into some serious "First World problems" at Disney World as they whine about their dumb park reservations system and their new and very confusing "Genie Plus" system. But they have high praise for Bidenomics. As if that wasn't enough, Carmen regresses into childhood antics, and the duo dishes for literally 9 seconds on the Claudine Gay scandal. Lucky you!

It’s another Christmas special and John gets into the holiday spirit by delivering a spirited rant about the audience's duty to listen to Carmen’s new comedy specials. Meanwhile, the duo hilariously pretend (hilarious to just them) that they’ve already been to Disney World, dropping a sly hint about an upcoming episode that spills the real rollercoaster details. Amidst the festive chaos, John regales Carmen in a personal story about an uncle who got little Johnny drunk on eggnog when he was five. But the yuletide surprises don't end there as Carmen gifts John with Global Entry, leaving him utterly clueless about what it even means. (Hint: it has nothing to do with anal entry). Oh and the XXX in the title refers to talk of pornographic comics. Lots of them.

Carmen and John dissect the chaos that is John with Covid (his second bout since the PLANdemic began, am I right, nut jobs?). They share sickness anecdotes that teeter between amusing and, well…not amusing. The hosts then engage in an epic showdown of Podcast John vs. Podcast Carmen, unleashing a competitive banter that might just redefine podcasting rivalries. But doesn’t. Carmen then spills more beans on her recent comedy special release, and the duo dives deep into the turbulent waters of fame versus non-fame, pondering the merits of recognition in the comedy world without making it too ponderous. To cap it off, they share their riveting take on the thrilling Netflix masterpiece, "Leave the World Behind," promising listeners a cinematic rollercoaster of yawns and death.

Carmen and John dive groin-first into the bizarre world of Beetlejuice, leaving Carmen questioning her life choices since she had never seen the iconic film before (she's seen her groin TOO much, however). As they navigate the spooky antics of the afterlife, the duo takes an unexpected turn to chat about the elusive "Golden Bachelor," a show John not only hasn't seen, but wishes to assassinate. Oh, if only shows could be murdered! Amidst discussions about Sandra Day O'Connor's going to the great big bench in the sky (Hell has a sky, right?), the hosts manage to make up new songs nobody asked for. To wrap things up, they delve into their friend, Adrienne Iapalucci's new comedy special taping, describing it as dark and delicious—like biting into a chocolate bar that gives you an instant mouth orgasm.

Carmen spills the beans about the Annette Benning movie “Nyad" (SPOILER ALERT: In real life, Diane Nyad today resembles the dashing Roger Daltrey). The duo also discusses Carmen's desperate attempts to score spots on Spanish podcasts to promote her Spanish special. [BTW, Carmen’s English special “Queef Week” is available on Mark Normand’s YouTube channel @MarkNormand!] Then Carmen recounts her latest Mel Robbins lesson and John dives into the Spiderverse movie so, yes, there are TWO movie reviews in this episode. ANOTHER BTW, Carmen had to bail mid-Spiderverse due to an unexpected disco inferno of flashing lights which started to “Mary Hart” her brain (all is explained when you listen, so listen).

Carmen and John dive into "The Blackening" with a movie review (as opposed to, you know, a restaurant review) that asks the burning question: Could white people write this film? The answer? A perplexing mix of yes and no that will leave you feeling less racist. Then John reveals his wild dream (starring “Barbra Streisand”) which Carmen is convinced was an omen for John’s acting career. Also, hey…do you like dandruff? No? How about if it comes from a beard? Yes?! Well, then you’re going to love the FLAKY discussion the duo has about John's recent adventures on his face. It’s cinema, dreams, and skincare gone hilariously wrong on everyone’s favorite podcast! Oh, and lots of delusion, too!

Carmen and John dive headfirst into horror-comedy movies, revealing how even the most iconic film formats can get a spine-chilling makeover. But, you know, less articulate than that. Things take an awkward turn as they explore the reverse - high-concept comedies spawned from horror tropes—imagine "What Women Want" where instead of hearing women's thoughts, Mel Gibson heard their periods. Or "Bruce Almighty," but instead he's satan and also a trans activist for some reason (trust us, if you listen to the ep it all makes even less sense). Meanwhile, John spills the beans on surviving the mind-bending rollercoaster that is "Lost" with his son, as Carmen braves the promotional jungle in Madrid for her upcoming comedy specials!

In this spooky episode recorded unspookily on Halloween, Carmen and John share their frightening neighbor's obsession with Halloween-themed songs blasting from their windows on an endless loop all day long. They also dive into a recent mysterious, true "crime" story involving a guy offering cups of blood to passersby in the Village (NYC). The episode then takes a darker turn with the sad news of Matthew Perry’s final "Friends" finale. But for the ultimate in terror chills, listen as the duo tells the tale of the ongoing Israeli-Gaza conflict where Ivy League students who support Hamas are discussed as well as people who aren't morons. They also find time for a bone-chilling movie review, a replay of Carmen's Voice Over audition for John's latest animated show, and a spine-tingling commercial for Halloween costumes. Plus, Carmen discusses her eerie experience at a new gym class. To top it off, they put their knowledge to the test with a ghoulish Halloween quiz and introduce some brand new Halloween tunes to get you in the spooky spirit that’ll last you days, even weeks, AFTER Halloween! OoooooOOOOOoooooo!

Get ready to embark on a journey through a world of mirrors, prostates, and movie magic! Carmen unveils the groundbreaking "The High Five Habit" mirror technique by Mel Robbins, (who's a winner of the prestigious NOPITW - Number One Podcast in the World or something like that.) Meanwhile, John shares his thrilling visit to the prostate doctor, or was it the urologist? Tune in to solve the medical mystery! Then the dumb-namic duo dives headfirst into the cinematic universe of “Tammy” as they celebrate (and slightly urinate on) the sensational career of Melissa McCarthy. And just when you think it couldn't get any more torturously entertaining, Carmen and John whisk you off to the Toronto Latin Comedy Festival where they discuss Nate Bargatze's SNL hosting gig and share their insights on the ever-evolving show business landscape. It’s an episode that'll leave you high-fiving your reflection and begging for no more!

Carmen and John pay tribute to the late and legendary "thigh queen," Suzanne Sommers, then wildly speculate about which celeb might kick the bucket next. They also brainstorm how to modernize the iconic "Three's Company" for today's world. Picture Jack Tripper navigating the pitfalls of online dating and Mr. Furley as a tech-savvy landlord (that’s not what they come up with). Next up, Movie Review! They tackle Netflix’s Beckham documentary. Carmen unveils her true podcast persona, "Carmy Shmarmy," and confesses her secret dream of becoming BFFs with Victoria Beckham. The duo also share their genius plans for turning babies into sports stars, because it's soooo easy, right? ALSO: Book Club! And no, it's not just comic books; Carmen loves crossword puzzles!