On this episode (recorded April 28th, 2020) join Lauren and Garrett as they chit-chat about some of their fondest animal memories, “recent” Pandemic happenings, the anniversary of the death of Bea Arthur, and lots of other juicy tea! In this week’s episode, “In A Bed of Rose’s”, Betty White’s killer vagina strikes again! The Girls soon learn, after the discovery of the dead man in Rose’s bed, that her most recent fling was less-than-truthful about his living situation - and his marital status! In an unfortunate turn of events, Rose is stuck with the extremely uncomfy responsibility of informing her recently deceased boyfriend’s wife of his death. How does the new widow, played by amazing guest star, Priscilla Morrill, take the news? Tune in to find out! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Although this episode was recorded on April 4th, 2020, editing was not finished until late May. Then, on May 25th, 2020, George Floyd was brutally murdered in Minneapolis, MN. At that time, it didn't seem appropriate to post a new episode. And then pretty much everything that happened after that was...well, I'm sure you don't need us to remind you. But now, just in time for the holiday season, we've decided to release this episode, as well as the next two episodes, which were also recorded in April and May of this year! Join us for this trip down recent memory lane as we crack open this auditory time-capsule into the near past. #EarlyPandemicSquirrels --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This time on The Golden Squirrels, Garrett and Lauren discuss the THE CORONAVIRUS. It’s Day 10 of “Quarantine” and we Squirrels have HAD IT! OFFICIALLY! Luckily, we have The Girls to keep us sane. On this episode, we follow Rose through her all-encompassing storyline of love, assumptions, and miscommunications! Dr. Jonathan Newman may be the new target of Rose’s desire, but will he ever be able to “live up” to Blanche’s and Dorothy’s expectations? Will Rose be able to overcome her doubts? Will Blanche and Dorothy survive the evening? Find out on this episode of The Golden Squirrels! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Join us on this episode of The Golden Squirrels as we discuss Lauren’s newfound obsession with TikTok and Garrett’s lifetime menagerie of illnesses and injuries! There’s also a brief discussion of the twelfth episode of The Golden Girls, “The Custody Battle” (which is a misleading title). Dorothy’s sister, Gloria, comes to visit her and Sophia in Miami! But there’s an ulterior motive. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose audition for the local community theatre’s production of Macbeth! Blanche will do (and has done) just about anything to get the role she wants! But there’s a wrench in this plan: Rose. How will Blanche ever forgive Rose for what she’s done? Will Gloria’s visit be a pleasant one? Give this episode of The Golden Squirrels a listen to find out! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

On this episode of The Golden Squirrels, join Garrett & Lauren as they wish Betty White a very happy (and very belated) 98th Birthday! In honor of the birth of our queen, we decided to start off this episode by answering a handful of questions from the Golden Girls Trivial Pursuit Game! Afterwards, we discuss Episode 11 of The Golden Girls - “Stan’s Return” or “The Return of Dorothy’s Ex,” depending on who you ask. While The Girls try to agree on a place to vacation together (sans Sophia, against her wishes) Dorothy deals with some unfinished business between she and Stan. Little did she know how quickly things would spiral out of control! Before she knows it, the house is filled with roses and she’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do she and Stan stand a chance after everything that’s happened between them? Does Stan’s heart deserve to be broken the same way Dorothy’s was? Is New York a better vacation spot than Hollywood? Tune in to this episode of The Golden Squirrels to find out! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This time on The Golden Squirrels, Lauren spreads the good news about her new obsession (Baby Yoda) while simultaneously delving into her feelings about loss and death and Garrett attempts to explain why he’s so seemingly unfeeling about the whole thing. After a fabulous dinner party thrown by The Girls, Sophia finds herself feeling a little worse for wear. Fearing the worst, Dorothy has Blanche call the doctor. As they wait, Sophia (dramatically) starts saying her goodbyes, and The Girls lament the situation while reminiscing about other lost loves. Will Sophia live to see another day? SPOILER ALERT: She’s fine. The doctor informs us that she’s not, in fact, having a heart attack, she’s having a gallbladder attack from eating a literal ton of delicious Italian food. Hopefully their dinner guests fared better than she did! Grab a snack and enjoy this episode of The Golden Squirrels! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Join Garrett and Lauren on this extra-juicy episode of The Golden Squirrels as Lauren spills all the BTS tea and Garrett attempts to find the perfect name for the episode! Meanwhile in Miami, we join our Girls as Blanche navigates the pros and cons of dating a younger man and Rose navigates her tumultuous relationship with her mother, Alma, who has come for a visit. Standing on the sidelines through all of this, Dorothy and Sophia reminisce with one another and cherish their relationship. And if none of that interests you, please enjoy the new hit single from our band, Soup Knives, now available on iTunes (not really). --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

On this fashionably-late episode of The Golden Squirrels, Garrett & Lauren catch up on some big (HUGE!) life events before going on to dissect the eighth episode of “The Golden Girls” - The Break-In. While The Girls are away at a Madonna concert, their home is broken into and upon their return, they discover that they’ve been robbed - Dorothy’s mink stole and Blanche’s Mama’s jewels. Despite a brand new security system and the brief employment of a guard dog, Rose’s brain will not allow her to relax. Will Blanche and Dorothy get their belongings back? Will Rose find a way to feel safe again? Tune in to find out! (And to learn what to do when your home is broken into, when you’re maced, or mace yourself, and how to act [by observing Betty White]) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

On this episode of The Golden Squirrels, Garrett and Lauren go bowling! Not really, but The Girls do! It’s that festive time of year again when Blanche and Rose enter the annual bowling tournament, each with their own intentions - Blanche, to look cute in her new bowling outfit, and Rose…to dominate! When it comes out that both Dorothy and Sophia are proficient bowlers, they also get dragged into the competition (after a plethora of partner-swaps!) Meanwhile, Sophia’s ex-fiancé (what?!) Augustine Bagatelli comes to visit and wishes Sophia to return with him to Sicily for the San Gennaro Festival (where they met 65 years ago!!!) To earn the funds for her trip, Sophia makes a bet with Dorothy - if she wins, Dorothy will pay the $1,200 airfare, and if she loses, Dorothy gets her antique silver earrings! The stakes are high this week, folks! Will Rose’s competitiveness get the better of her? Will Sophia succeed in defeating Dorothy? Will Blanche look cute in her bowling outfit? Find out on this episode of The Golden Squirrels! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

This week on The Golden Squirrels, Garrett and Lauren discuss the famous Jacoby family and the inevitable mood-swings of teendom as The Girls experience them firsthand! Blanche’s nephew, David, comes to stay in Miami while Blanche’s daughter, Janet, and her husband escape to Hawaii on a second honeymoon to work on their marriage. Meanwhile, Dorothy studies for her French final exam, and she and Sophia reflect on their relationship as they’re forced to share a bedroom while David is visiting. David’s bad attitude tests each Girl’s patience (one to the breaking point!) before a heartfelt late-night chat helps him to see the light. He leaves refreshed and ready to take on the world (and his parents) with a newfound patience and maturity. Unsurprisingly, the best person to help him find a new outlook on life is his grandma and her three "old lady" friends! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app