* Nuanced refrain – Personal variation in what it is to be sober and in what sequence* Desirability of abstinence – inherent and tacit Host: Paige R. Hulsey Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle Written, engineered, and edited by Paige R. Hulsey

Q&A conclusion to this miniseries! The beginning, middle and not end of amending. * What about when a direct amend isn’t appropriate (or possible)? * What about when the person I’ve harmed has also harmed me? * Do I have to do whatever they say about ‘making it right’? * What about mid-course corrections versus fresh start amending? * Why is the temptation so strong to skip right to the ninth step? * Please remind us again why we bother with all of this? Host: Paige R. Hulsey Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle Written, engineered, and edited by Paige R. Hulsey

Miniseries! The beginning, middle and not end of amending. * Staying amended * Loose ends and anxiety * Why amending doesn’t end – step ten Host | Paige R. Hulsey Recovery Patterns of Codependence: http://coda.org/index.cfm/meeting-materials1/patterns-of-recovery/ Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle Written, recorded, and edited by Paige R. Hulsey

Miniseries! The beginning, middle and not end of amending. * More on making the approach * The talk Host: Paige R. Hulsey Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle Written, engineered, and edited by Paige R. Hulsey

Miniseries! The beginning, middle and not end of amending. * Methods of preparation – the letter, the card * The approach Host: Paige R. Hulsey Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle Written, engineered, and edited by Paige R. Hulsey

Miniseries! The beginning, middle and not end of amending. * Why is amending so scary? Facing consequences in direct opposition to getting away with something and dealing with that picture we get in our minds * Why does amending feel so weird? Addressing contexts and meta communications * How do I find the willingness? Use of will and willpower Host: Paige R. Hulsey Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle Written, engineered, and edited by Paige R. Hulsey

Miniseries! The beginning, middle and not end of amending. * Why even do this part of the work? * Being our ideals * Restoration, reintegration Host: Paige R. Hulsey Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle

Miniseries! The beginning, middle and not end of amending. * Empowering context for self-reflection: freckles not cancer * What the list is: I did the wrong thing and was harm caused. * What the list isn’t: people whose feelings I hurt or people I didn’t do the right thing by but didn’t actually harm, only people I’m looking to continue a relationship with or willing or able to go and see, only people who didn’t also harm me Host: Paige R. Hulsey Dr. Death Podcast:  https://wondery.com/shows/dr-death Real Crime Profile Podcast: https://wondery.com/shows/real-crime-profile Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle

* When we’ve lied – false equivalencies, a meditation to support staying lightly attached, the perils of desensitization, isolation, and defensiveness * General traps and pitfalls – being discerning versus judgemental, or uncommunicative versus prudent, secretive versus private * When we’ve been lied to – being responsible for not remaining in harm’s way and being free to assess risk Host: Paige R. Hulsey | Cohost: Emily R. Bogen The NW Network: https://www.nwnetwork.org and their statement, On False Equivalencies and Surviving Domination: https://bit.ly/2NosLIh Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.c12pod.com Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle

* Different types of lies – outright, lies of omission, lies to self (delusion), and dishonest behaviors * Hidden harms of lying – stress, exhaustion, loneliness, pain, delay of growth, distorted relationship with self and others, and dehumanization * What it takes to live without lying – being interested and present, practicing other principles (giving up managing and selfish attachment, treating outsized fears and our reactions to those fears, not living hidden, self-reflection, being in a practice of amending), and excusing myself from environments that require or virtually require that I lie Host: Paige R. Hulsey | Cohost: Emily R. Bogen Real Rent: https://www.realrentduwamish.org Link to our steps: http://www.complexiphy.org/c12 Music from Elijah: www.instagram.com/elijah_seattle