Chris tells tales of the road, Matty makes a weird friend in the sauna, Chris and Matty are basically fitness gurus and also mean hangry boys, Chris'll be a good post-apocalyptic leader, public executions, Alcatraz, other prisons, malls, a mall that’s now a prison, hunting Chomsky, breeding and selling a line of Jimothy’s  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lucia Whalen (@luciawhalen) is back with a wall nine inches from her bedroom window and a New York Times byline about a tuna melt. We pass the pod's first tuna policy, propose mandatory tap shoes for men, and make her watch some videos she has never seen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We finally land the #1 best guest, getting arrested in high school, Matty got to pretend he was a Higgins on a father/son trip to Oregon, Elliot’s childhood cannon, rail torpedoes, normal boyhood stuff like exploding train tracks, Chris’s arch nemesis: the seagull, playing tug of war with and eel and then also an octopus, cryptid of the week: the PNW Apecat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Frog tongue cheeseburger, reading fantasy books vs. animal tracking, rat pocket tailor, Luke and Matty roast Chris’s outfit for six hours, doing a S&P 500 in your pants for hotel dominance, Luke’s extremely dope wolf shirt/the wolves inside us all, Nimrods, posses, hell yeah city New Episodes every Tuesday! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bastille day, march on Versailles, eagle or vulture, profesh executioners, coy wolves, British swan laws, where the christ are all the baby Garys  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matty's a bit of a doctor himself, George Washington coulda been a nobody, 4th of July fireworks and fungi, World Cup fans, professional perverts, open wounds in flood water, Frozen is a phenomenal film. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Matty has spider bones, a man called Grover, Colorado suckholes, White Sox mascot, beautiful brave sons, hogs both small and mangled, Proboscis monkey, Chris doesn’t trust his own ass  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

90s Jock Jams, the World Cup song situation (why Jelly Roll?), the show Alone, a Naked and Afraid snakebite story Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No guest this week, just Chris and Matty hanging out for a summer episode of the Buddy System Podcast. The boys try to figure out if they could draw the United States from memory, get deep into sauna and steam room culture, talk through whether Matty wants kids and how protective he already is of his nieces and nephews, break down why soccer beats lacrosse on pure accessibility, and close out with another Cryptid of the Week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Scoochie Boochie (https://www.instagram.com/scoochie_boochie) is back on the Buddy System Podcast, and Chris and Matty barely make it through hello before the three of them are swapping tour bus stories, including the act that got left sleeping under a bridge in Milwaukee. From there it is a full hour of comedy podcast tangents: why nerds keep pairing Magic the Gathering with cocaine, a Christian unicycle family dribbling basketballs for Christ, the fact that every crow sounds like Ron White, whether you could train a dog for the biathlon, and the universal truth that your male cat has nipples. Scoochie shouts out his friend Alex Wannell as Treasure of the Week for talking him through a brown recluse bite, the guys invent a pistol with a single tooth, and somewhere in there katana otters, a fridge full of kimchi, and a plan to dodge the draft all come up before the whole thing lands on the green team. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices