The Beaverton Weekly Report
The Beaverton Weekly Report
The Beaverton
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles an all-star Panel of comedians to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts their knowledge of the news to the test in a very important quiz where the stakes couldn't be lower. The Beaverton Weekly Report is a hilarious look at what's going on in the world around us. It's just like watching CNN, only funnier and with fewer erectile dysfunction ads.
2025 Year In Review!
Hit the bricks, you stupid year! Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, and in the guest chair for the first time, Luke Gordon Field) discuss the top 5 stories of the year, plus stories that didn't get enough attention (remember when Doug Ford was gonna cut off the US's electricity?) Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz tests how well our panel remembers this truly bullshit past 12 months. If you would like an extended cut version of this episode that where we share 2026 predictions from our panel and Patreon supporters, check us out on our Patreon.
Dec 29, 2025
1 hr 7 min
Carney asks Santa for Majority, Scratch Lottery Tickets
"Also, some socks please." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk the Liberals' scheme to get Conservative MPs to cross floor, Poilievre's disastrous CBC interview, and the immediate politicization of the weekend's tragedies. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers the worst reason to get fired from your job.  If you'd like an Extended Cut that unpacks the chaos unfolding in the OneBC party, check us out on Patreon. 
Dec 17, 2025
1 hr
The Second Worst Option
"Netflix buying Warner Brothers would be absolutely terrible, and the way better than Paramount buying them!" Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) talk the Conservative's "trap" motion on the pipeline, the Liberals' struggles to pass their anti-hate crime law and the fight to buy Warner Brothers. Then The Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers there are two ways to steal a Faberge Egg.  If you'd like an Extended Cut version of this podcast that also gets into the eventually successful efforts to oust BC Conservative leader John Rustad, check us out on Patreon. 
Dec 10, 2025
1 hr 4 min
Who Needs Cabinet Members When You Have A Pipeline?
"I'll just hang out with my new friends: bitumen and petroleum." Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk about the fallout from the Pipeline MOU for Carney and Smith, Pete Hegseth's war on narco smugglers/human decency and Quebec hitting the racism disguised as secularism button again. Then The Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz reveals the most cinematic way to commit pension fraud.  If you'd like an extended cut version of this episode that also explores the wild and wicked story of Ryan James Wedding, check us out on Patreon. 
Dec 3, 2025
1 hr
Carney's Pipeline Pinky Promise
"I hope Smith didn't notice I had the fingers on my other hand crossed." Luke and the Panel (Megan MacKay, Clare Blackwood and Ian MacIntyre) talk about Carney and Smith coming to an "understanding" on pipelines, the tall task facing Poilievre's new campaign manager and the impossible position Trump has put Zelensky in. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers why porn is about to get a little less Canadian.  If you'd like an extended version that also talks about Doug Ford's war on tenant's rights, check us out on Patreon
Nov 26, 2025
1 hr 5 min
Budgets & Tariffs & Pedophiles, Oh My!
"We're off to see the Epstein File!" Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Seguin and Megan MacKay) talk about the Liberals (barely) passing their budget, the Conservatives new 'hide behind the curtain' voting strategy, and Donald Trump's Epstein problem getting worse by the day. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz reveals just what smug Toronto assholes we are.  If you'd like an extended cut version of this episode that talks about the latest in the Trade War, check us out on Patreon. 
Nov 19, 2025
1 hr 3 min
How is Poilievre so bad at this?
"When your job is politics, you shouldn't be so bad at politics" Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Nile Seguin) delight in the chaos consuming the Conservative Party, wonder why the Democrats are incapable of not shitting the bed, and try to understand the government's plan to put 300,000 civil servants in the armed forces. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz discovers just how easy international art heists are.  If you'd like an extended cut episode that dives into the chaos and absurdities of the 'Save The Ostriches' movement in B.C., check us out on Patreon. 
Nov 12, 2025
56 min
Carney's Budget: Austerity For Thee, Not The Military
"It's a generational budget. And the next generation will pay for it!" Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) dive into the details of Mark Carney's budget, speculate on the politics of getting it passed, debate Carney's cozying up to China and pour one out for our beloved Blue Jays. Then The Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz proves that we don't know what a double entendre is.  If you'd like an extended cut version of this episode that talks about Alberta's use of s. 33 to order the teachers back to work and the recall attempts it has brought about, check us out on Patreon. 
Nov 5, 2025
1 hr 1 min
The Return Of The Living Doug!!!
Trick or Treat or Definitely Trick!!! Just in time for Spooky Season Doug Ford is back to wreak havoc! Guest Host Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood and Andrew Ivimey) discuss the Ronald Reagan ad that pissed off Trump, how Ontario rent control got saved (for now), and catch up on Newfoundland politics. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz hits the mean streets with Toronto grocery store cashiers. If you'd like an Extended Cut version that also talks about sports betting and the recent NBA scandal, check us out on Patreon!
Oct 29, 2025
1 hr 1 min
Bail Reform Christmas Comes Early This Year!
We discuss the most exciting news on every Canadian's mind this week - Bail Reform! Guest Host Ian and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, and Craig Fay) discuss the why we Canadians barely know anything about bail, AI datacentres coming for all our water, and what's good in Saskatchewan. Then the Approximately 10 Minute Long Quiz uncovers the best household item to fix your Honda Civic with.  If you'd like an Extended Cut version that also talks about the Justin Trudeau smooching Katy Perry, check us out on Patreon.
Oct 22, 2025
1 hr 4 min
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