In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast Mason sits down with Caitlin Eggertz, who shares the heartbreaking story of losing her college boyfriend, Matthew Hearn, in a fatal rock climbing accident in 2017. Caitlyn opens up about witnessing the tragedy firsthand, the survivor's guilt that followed, and how grief pushed her into a six-year battle with alcoholism. She reflects on her journey to sobriety, the unexpected support from Matt's family, and how love helped her rebuild. A raw, honest conversation about trauma, healing, and choosing to truly live in honor of those we've lost.

In this episode with The 10 Ninety Podcast Mason sits down with Chandra Roberson, a licensed mental health counselor who has faced extraordinary loss — losing her mother at 14, her first husband Brad to cancer, and most recently her second husband Conrad to a sudden stroke in 2023. Chandra opens up about navigating complicated grief, blended family challenges, the impact of CTE from Conrad's football career, and making impossible medical decisions while separated. Through it all, she shares hard-won wisdom on love, forgiveness, faith, and finding beauty in the broken. A deeply moving and honest conversation about what it means to keep going.

In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast Mason sits down with Stephanie Johnson, a mother of six from Arizona navigating two devastating realities at once. In October 2025, she lost her brother Loren to a drug overdose. Weeks later, her four-year-old son Nikolai was diagnosed with Hunter Syndrome — a rare genetic disorder affecting roughly 1 in 1 million male births that causes progressive neurological decline, with most children not surviving past their teenage years. Stephanie talks openly about grief, guilt, the fight to find treatment, and what it means to stay present when the future feels impossible.

In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast, Mason sits down with Joshua Legg. What starts as a fun deep dive into Wolverine, X-Men, and the Marvel universe quickly becomes something much more profound. Joshua opens up about his younger brother Jake, who struggled with bipolar disorder and took his own life in June 2019. Joshua shares how collecting Marvel cards became one way of staying connected to Jake's memory, and how that grief shaped his online community, his response to hate, and his commitment to showing love to everyone he meets.

It was so great having my niece Faith on to talk about her story. It's weird how the same tragedy in our family hits everyone a little differently. I can't really imagine what it's like to lose my dad and my brother when I was 16, as well as my aunt, and two cousins.  As the uncle, I would like to be a good example but I have always been impressed with Faith and Ran's resiliency. I just kind of checked out of life for a while but they had to go back to school and do math homework and get jobs and try to go to the school dance and I just never understood how they could do any of it. ❤️  Love you Faith. You are one of my heroes❤️

In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast, Mason Sawyer sits down with Kim Sanford — a competitive breakaway roper, former addict, and grief advocate. Kim shares the story of TJ Larson, her partner of seven years who battled meth addiction and stage four cancer before dying in a confrontation with police. She reflects on surviving profound loss, navigating grief over 11 years, and how amor fati — loving one's fate — became her framework for rebuilding. A raw, honest conversation about addiction, death, and resilience.

In this episode of the 10 Ninety podcast, Connie Raschke shares the heartbreaking and inspiring story of her husband, Chris Raschke — a passionate land speed racer, dedicated ARP employee, and beloved father and grandfather from Ventura, California. Chris spent years as a crew member for the legendary Speed Demon race team before stepping into the driver's seat himself, ultimately earning the rare and coveted black hat by setting a 459 mph record at the Bonneville Salt Flats in 2024. Just months later, a tragic tire failure during a shakedown run at Bonneville took his life on August 3rd, 2025. Connie opens up about the chaotic, surreal moments after the accident, the crushing grief that followed, her commitment to counseling and mental health support, and the safety advocacy work she's doing through the Chris Raschke Legacy Foundation. This is a powerful conversation about love, loss, purpose, and resilience.

In this episode of the 10 Niney Podcast, host Mason sits down with Derek Wayman. Derek opens up about growing up as the youngest sibling to his brother Robert, who lived with severe cerebral palsy for 24 years before passing away in 2013. Derek shares raw, honest reflections on grief, guilt, childhood trauma, depression, and suicidal ideation — while also finding humor, hope, and hard-won wisdom in the journey. A deeply moving conversation about loss, resilience, and learning to carry what life gives you.

In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast, Mason sits down with Kamisha Allen and Brie Osha. Kamisha lost her son J'Wan 12 years ago at the Salt River in Phoenix, Arizona. Brie lost her two-year-old son Romeo to a drowning accident at an apartment complex in Tracy, California. Both of them know a grief most people around them will never understand. Kamisha talks about the fog that came over her, the service she planned in a week while barely being there, the moment she looked up at the ceiling and couldn't tell you what happened at her own son's funeral. Brie talks about the numbness — the anesthesia her body put her under — and how four years later, it's still slowly wearing off. Both of them know the guilt that lives underneath the loss.  Kamisha opens up about her suicidal thoughts, the dream where God showed her a spiderweb full of people she didn't know yet, and how the HP Foundation pulled her toward something when she had nothing left. Brie talks about the nurse at the hospital who told her to get a journal before her brain started protecting her from it — the green journal she still has, the memories she reads back to herself so she doesn't lose them.  They talk about the signs. Kamisha's feathers on the doorstep. Brie's butterflies and the overheard conversation that answered something she'd been asking in her head. The little girl in the Dollar Tree who asked if Kamisha had a son, said everything was going to be okay, and wasn't in the store when Kamisha went to look for her. The Taylor Swift song that came on in the bridal boutique — "Romeo, save me" — while Brie was trying on a white dress. Both of them have too much evidence to explain away.  And they both talk about living in two worlds at once — the one where your kid is gone, and the one where life just keeps going anyway. The paradox of finding purpose inside the worst thing that ever happened to you. The fear of forgetting. The guilt of being happy. The question of whether you're doing grief wrong — and what it means that neither of them can answer it, but both of them keep showing up. Kamisha's grandson looks just like Jawan. Brie's daughter looks just like Romeo. Twelve years in, four years in — the weight doesn't leave. But you get stronger. And you figure out how your son would want you to be. Both Brie and Kamisha are great examples of remembering to.. "Be gentle with yourself." There's no right way to do grief.  Grief is unique to each person because the love we share with the ones we lose is as a unique as the grief we carry.

In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast, Mason sits down with Kamisha Allen, a Phoenix, Arizona mother and founder of the HP Foundation — and the mom of J'Wan, a 21-year-old son she lost to a drowning accident 12 years ago. J'Wan was a football player, a scholar, a Harry Potter reader, and the person who changed everything about who Kamisha was. He was family-first, a jokester, and the reason she became someone worth being. She also almost lost him to a seizure years before the water took him — and she never saw it coming either time. Kamisha talks about what it was actually like to get that call — the phone she didn't want to answer, the knock on the door, the moment in the convenience store where she had to identify his tattoos and couldn't hold it together anymore. She gets into the guilt of letting him move in with his dad, the suicidal thoughts that followed, and the car crash that didn't kill her — and why she believes it wasn't supposed to. She also gets into grief, the dark tunnel of it, and what it actually means to find the light. She talks about the angel in the Dollar Tree, the green journal she still has, and how a little girl said the exact right thing and then disappeared. She talks about building the HP Foundation out of grief she wasn't done with yet, covering burial costs for families who lost children without life insurance, and sitting in rooms with other parents who get it in a way no one else can. And she talks about the neck tattoo that started as a bad decision and ended as scripture. About Harry Potter. About her grandson who looks just like J'Wan. About 12 years in — how the weight doesn't leave, but you get stronger carrying it. This one takes you to the dark and brings you back. "Be gentle with yourself."