Most people who struggle with Forgiving wrestle with it due to internalized hurt, betrayal and undeniable trauma.
To the person who has endured such abuse; oft times, to forgive "feels like" letting the offender completely off the hook.
It can also be challenging because they believe in the concept that true forgiveness means forgetting. This belief system is embedded by those who were brought up in deeply religious circles.
It's even harder to release recurring events that has played out in this persons life, over and over, numerous times.
There is no forgetting our experiences really, we may avoid, ignore or suppress them to survive; but the pain associated with unhealed trauma can easily resurface when triggered.
Not all triggers express themselves externally by impulsiveness, some people who become triggered go internal with their pain by shutting down, both are reactions.
When fortunate enough to remove themselves from the particular situation, gleaning the lesson and releasing the pain that came with it; seems like quite an abstract concept, a dream, considerably unrealistic.
This episode outlines what "Protecting" ourselves may look like when "moving forward" without truly forgiving in a healthy way.
A good friend of mine has coined this phase as "The Walking Wounded" --
While it is understandably unhealthy to pretend that you're OK and moving along, when you really haven't; its even more unhealthy to define this act as self protection when in fact it's silently eating away at your core.
Healing is about acknowledging and releasing the pain. Effectively managing the triggers.
Its the ability to be the observer of our own wounds.
Forgiveness doesn't protect you from ever getting hurt again; forgiveness provides the clarity of heart and thought to navigate the landscape of hurt as being apart of our human experience.
Forgiveness promotes an advanced self healing mechanism that is supernatural to some.
Forgiveness grants you the grace for oneself to trust, find compassion for and protect, all while being courageous enough to release the portal in time that desires to hold you hostage.
This is how we Tame the Dragon of Unforgiveness. If you can relate, this week's episode is just for you.