Tabitha's dad left when she was young. His leaving shaped her but doesn't tell the whole story. The rest of the story speaks to healing with Jesus, redemptive love, and finding victory over brokenness. Tabitha Panariso is unashamedly serious about Jesus and equally terrible at small talk.  As a writer, speaker, wife, and mama — she’s realized that the only way to endure is to keep the main thing, the main thing. Her mission: to help women fight for an unwavering faith an in unsteady world.

The truth of the matter is, how you were raised affects you. It shapes the way you see relationships, yourself, and the world. It affects how you manage conflict, what kinds of relationships you gravitate towards or reject, how you make decisions, your self-image, even your approach to faith. In this episode I'll share a list reflection questions about how your family shaped you, an invitation for a way to share your story, and a prayer to accompany this brave and deep work of looking back.

This is a story of broken families, radical forgiveness, and the intimacy with God that changed a life. This is Pamela Henkelman's story, and the start to season 2 of Take These Ashes.  In this episode, Pamela shares: The shame of her family's brokenness and how it affected her as a young girl (6:12) The wild incident that should have torn her family apart, but instead drew them into incredible redemption (8:14) How Pamela's hunger for wholeness helped her forgive those who hurt her, and drives her to know God intimately and deeply (14:00) The way she and her husband intentionally parented their children, after the brokenness they both experienced in their families of origin (21:06) Her special name for God, and how the Psalms taught her to be vulnerable with God and others (24:43) The word of encouragement she would give her younger self (and you) in the immediate aftermath of her most painful moments (28:03) Resources mentioned in this episode: Search for Significance, by Robert McGee Experiencing God, by Henry Blackaby Always Daddy's Girl, by H. Norman Wright One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp Psalm 107 Pamela's website: www.pamelahenkelman.com Pamela's Instagram: www.instagram.com/phenkelman Connect with host, Heather Lobe Johnson, on Instagram: www.instagram.com/heatherlobejohnson 

If you feel powerless over your people pleasing, it might actually be a good thing...You might actually be on the brink of change.  In this episode of Take These Ashes, host Heather Lobe Johnson talks about her own journey with codependency (people pleasing), and how her encounter with the 12-step philosophy of recovery actually moved her towards sanity and positive change.  We cover in this episode: What codependency looks like The roots of codependency How people pleasing affects our time management, relationships, and well-being Where we can find hope if this pattern is prevalent in our lives Resources and a prayer for people pleasers Mentioned in this episode: Other episodes of Take These Ashes (Episode 19 with Kerrah Fahbacher, Ep. 24 with Liz Petty, Ep. 15 with Amanda Anderson, Ep. 6 with KJ Ramsey) Amanda Anderson's video resource called The Bridge at www.heartintraining.com/thebridge Boundaries book by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Recovery programs for codependents: CODA, Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery SAMSHA (substance abuse and mental health services administration)- treatment programs, hotline, support groups, resources

Until we begin to fully grasp God's love for us, we will keep chasing after other loves that break our hearts or never fully satisfy our deepest longings.  In this episode of Take These Ashes, host Heather Lobe Johnson answers listener questions about why we find attention and affection from the opposite gender alluring (and equate it with our value), and whether pornography is okay.  The problem in both cases gets to a deeper question of the case of our hearts-- as philosopher Blaise Pascal says, "There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of each man which cannot be satisfied by any created thing but only by God the Creator, made known through Jesus Christ." Heather discusses her heart, our collective hearts as humans, and God's heart for us through illustrations in Scripture (the woman at the well in John 4 and the prodigal son in Luke 15).  ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you. 

When our stories are woven with threads of sexual brokenness, it’s hard to untangle that from the other pieces of ourselves and our stories because it touches us at a soul level. We are fully integrated human beings, and our approach to healing must also be fully integrated. Body, mind, and spirit. In this episode, we discuss: God's design for intimacy How our approach to healing must integrate body, mind, and spirit What it looks like to try to find healthy intimacy after trauma (sexual abuse or sexual assault) in dating or marriage relationships Resources mentioned in this episode: Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend wetoo.org/resources Mary DeMuth's book We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Spiritual Abuse Crisis Celebrate Recovery (Christ-centered 12-step program for any hurt, habit, or hang-up) ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you. 

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” -Psalm 147:3 tw: sexual assault and abuse When we experience trauma, there are complex layers of wounds that need healing in us. And as Kathleen Arnold, MSW shares in this episode of Take These Ashes, “that wound creates an opportunity for God.” Kathleen leads us in this conversation to discuss post-traumatic growth and the following: “Trauma is trauma.” Kathleen and Heather discuss how there’s no measuring stick for the hard things you’ve been through to compare it to the trauma of others. The definition of PTSD vs. C-PTSD and how trauma affects our bodies and brains How “negative” coping skills after experiencing trauma are actually part of our body’s strategy to try to survive Next steps towards growth and healing when someone becomes aware of their own trauma (and their own coping mechanisms to deal with that trauma) Seeing the “gold” from what we’ve been through—the Truth of who God is, how we see God and our stories, and how Jesus’s suffering relates to our own suffering here on earth How God uses His people to help us find safety and healing, and how to be a safe person for the people in your life   About this week's guest, Kathleen Arnold, MSW:  Kathleen Arnold is Program Director for Street Ransom, a Roanoke, Virginia-based ministry for juvenile survivors of sex trafficking. Kathleen has her bachelor’s degree from James Madison University in Global Justice Studies with a concentration in sex trafficking. Kathleen first began working with survivors of sex trafficking as the Program Supervisor at The Samaritan Women, a shelter for adult survivors of sex trafficking in Baltimore, Maryland. In 2015, Kathleen returned from Baltimore to the Roanoke Valley area and began working on the plans and programming for Street Ransom’s crisis shelter. In May of 2019 Kathleen graduated with her Master’s in Social Work to be better equipped for her position as Street Ransom’s Program Director.    Kathleen is a certified facilitator for a trafficking prevention curriculum called Not A #Number developed by Love146. She also has specific training on trauma, resilience, crisis intervention, de-escalation, and strengths based approach. ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you.   

"When we’re in the pit of shame, when we’re in that darkness, we may not believe there’s a way to get to healing. And sometimes it takes people who love us well to fight for us, carry us, take us to the Healer." tw: sexual assault and abuse Sometimes when we walk through fire, it takes space and time to realize just how high the flames reach and how deep the pain runs. Aliza had no context or comparison for her first relationship (with a Christian), and when things went wrong it took her a while to wrap words around what she experienced. On this episode of Take These Ashes, join Aliza Latta and Heather Lobe Johnson for: Aliza’s experience with sharing her story of sexual assault and abuse with others The metaphors and images God gave to both Aliza and Heather in their healing How to navigate safe people, where to share our stories, how much to share and when The story of the paralyzed man whose friends carried him to Jesus for healing (Luke 5) and how that relates to our own need for healing in community (28:45) Aliza’s encouraging word to anyone who is walking through this particular type of pain (32:40) Aliza and Heather pray together over listeners for healing and encouragement   About this week's guest, Aliza Latta: Aliza Latta is a Canadian writer, artist, and author, who is a huge fan of telling stories. Her artwork and writing has been featured in publications for LifeWay, Dayspring, and (in)courage. She is always searching for the goodness of God, even when she has to squint to see it. Connect with Aliza: Subscribe to her monthly newsletter on spiritual direction:  https://alizalatta.com/subscribe On Instagram: instagram.com/alizalatta Read Aliza's article on (in)courage: Step into the Light: A Story of Healing After Sexual Assault ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you. 

What happened to you does not tell you who you are. On this week's episode, join guest Debra Wallace as she shares her story of walking through the fire of betrayal. Debra and host, Heather Lobe Johnson, discuss the following topics: Lamenting and sifting through our questions when we experience pain How Proverbs 31 actually encouraged Debra through her season of fire, and how Scripture strengthens her on a daily basis to fight lies Why it's important to find support right away when you experience betrayal Debra's 4 "C's" for those who have experienced betrayal trauma How Debra found healing and forgiveness for her story in community About this week's guest, Debra Wallace: As a woman who discovered her husband’s same-sex betrayal, Debra Wallace validates and comes alongside women who’ve experienced betrayals of their own. As a coach and battle buddy, she facilitates wives care groups with a trauma informed approach as someone who has been in a betrayed woman’s shoes and “gets her.” Debra works at Be Broken Ministries as a Wives Care Assistant and is pursuing certification as an ADOH peer facilitator with a trauma informed approach.   Connect with Debra: Be Broken Ministries, Wives Care Program (San Antonio, TX) Debra's website: www.debrawallace.org On Instagram: instagram.com/bee_ofgoodcheer On Facebook: Debra Wallace Writes ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you.

If you grew up during the Purity Culture movement and it gave you confusing messages about your body or intimacy, this one's for you. Join Heather Lobe Johnson and Dr. Camden, a Psychologist and Christian feminist, for this episode to learn: the definition of "purity culture" 5 myths of the purity movement, the impacts of those myths, and practical antidotes how to realign our theology around sex  the difference between guilt and shame how to create a "Teflon mind" and build shame resilience the best way to process the emotions and thoughts of these conversations with God Connect with Dr. Camden on Instagram @drcamden, Facebook @drcamden, and her website drcamden.com, where you can take the free quiz "Which purity culture myth affects you?" Dr. Camden Morgante is a licensed clinical psychologist and college professor. She lives with her husband and daughter in Knoxville, TN. She writes and speaks about Christianity, psychology, and gender equality and has been published in Fathom magazine and Christians for Biblical Equality’s blog Mutuality. She is currently writing a book on purity culture. ________ This episode is brought to you by RE-ROOTED: A 6-week growth journey for women (offered by Heather Lobe Johnson, Spring 2021). Sign up here for more info:  heatherlobe.com/course  ________ *Listener note: This episode is part of our 6-week BREAKING FREE series where we’ll be talking all about healing from sexual brokenness. While we’re mindful in these episodes to not discuss the graphic nature of these topics, they’re still mature conversations. Please be mindful of sensitive listeners nearby and your own needs as you enter into these discussions with us. Ultimately we want what’s best for your healing, and we hope these episodes will be a part of that path for you.