Search me O God and know my heart...

Scott doesn't shrink back from reflecting on this raw and emotional Psalm: Psalm 137  - NRSV - Lament over the Destruction of Jerusalem 1   By the rivers of Babylon— there we sat down and there we wept when we remembered Zion. 2   On the willows there we hung up our harps. 3   For there our captors asked us for songs, and our tormentors asked for mirth, saying, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!” 4   How could we sing the Lord's song in a foreign land? 5   If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand wither! 6   Let my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth, if I do not remember you, if I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy. 7   Remember, O Lord, against the Edomites the day of Jerusalem's fall, how they said, “Tear it down! Tear it down! Down to its foundations!” 8   O daughter Babylon, you devastator! Happy shall they be who pay you back what you have done to us! 9   Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock! Scott's commentary.... Some of my favourite Psalms are Psalms that are overlooked or deliberately ignored by good, religious people. I like them because they are raw and emotional. They are vulnerable and honest. They don’t dress up their feelings in religious language or pack away their questions in neat little boxes. Instead, they take their anger and their fury and their prejudice and their sadness and their hopelessness and, instead of hiding it or denying it, they sing it at the top of their lungs. I can only imagine how cathartic and liberating it must have been for them to sing their hearts out. And how challenging it probably was for other people to listen to them. That’s especially true of this Psalm. It’s not a joyful one. It’s bitter and it’s brutal. It’s written by Israelites who watched their city and country burn before they were dragged off into exile as prisoner and servants. You can imagine them sitting on the banks of the river, singing through their tears, crying out to God, ‘Don’t let us forget who we used to be! Don’t let us lose the memory of who you called us to be!’ They are angry at their captors. They’re probably angry at God. And they’re definitely angry at themselves because the reason they went into exile is that they forgot who God had called them to be. They allowed greed and selfishness to direct their lives. They allowed injustice to thrive in their cities and inequality to run riot in their communities. They’re angry. And this anger is a toxic thing. We all feel it. It’s like a drug — like an energy all of its own. It’s powerful and its destructive. Or at least it has the potential to be. The final line of this Psalm is disgusting: ‘Happy shall they be who take your little ones and dash them against the rock.’ What a horrible and inexcusable thing to say, let alone to include in a song of lament to God. And yet, this is how they’re feeling. There is a courage in expressing it. Once we have expressed it, God can transform it. He can take our rage and turn it towards redemption. He can take our bitterness and make something beautiful from it. But he needs us to express it. To own it. So sing it out — whatever it is that you are feeling.

Rev Adrian McCarthey is the Rector of Belvoir Parish in Belfast. He has pioneered many fresh expressions of church and discipleship models in the past three decades and has carried out almost every role and job at Summer Madness, from mainstage speaker to cook! He was the founder of StreetReach and continues to explore new ways of engaging with community need to share the love and power of Jesus.

How to fail well.... “Failure is not a disgrace unless you make it the last chapter of your book.” Jack Hyles

Beth is from sunny California originally but has lived in Belfast for the last 17 years. She helps lead 24-7 Prayer Ireland.

Esther works for IJM, fighting against modern slavery in the name of Jesus.

Stu Armstrong works at Shankill Parish where he coordinates youth ministry and contemporary services. He also works at Summer Madness and coordinates the seminar programme. He's married to Janine, has 2 amazing and annoying kids, loves bass guitar, milkshakes and brutally heavy music.

What do you do when you feel like it’s all gone a bit wrong? When you don’t have the answer to solve the problem? Maybe you’ve taken on one too many things or it feels like the circumstance is spiralling out of control?

John Mark Mullan is married to Deborah and dad to Caleb, Elijah and Junia. He is part of the staff team at Mountsandel Christian Fellowship in Coleraine, focusing on Bible teaching and discipleship. His passion is helping people discover how to read the Bible for spiritual transformation, and not just information.

Helen is the Principal of Belfast Bible College and part of the leadership team at her local church. She loves Northern Ireland and believes watching films is time well spent.  Helen lives in East Belfast, sharing her house with her wee dog Mollie; a Bichon Cavalier cross who loves everyone and could play fetch all day long.