
It's officially over, and the boys (Me, Peanut, and Cody) can't believe it so we're breaking out the 'member berries (ya'll remember that South Park plot?) and reminiscing on the season. We give out the big awards like MVP, All-Starting-5 Defense First Team, and Assists Leader, and we also dedicate just a little bit of time for the categories you really care about like Best Rapper, Most Followers on Insta, and the Tony Snell Award. Brace yourselves for an hour and forty minutes of saying out loud, "Damn, this is a good show. I'm gonna re-listen to it all the way through."
Mar 13, 2022
1 hr 40 min

It's here, as promised: The Final. A year of episodes leads us to the epic conclusion of Season 2. Haters will say it was premeditated, but we've got Cohost Cody facing off against Peanut, the Creator. Steven drops in to keep us focused on the important things, like Stan Van Gundy quotes. This ep has it all, boy does it deliver. We're talking babies, Spike Lee, blood oaths, Lucky Strikes ads, someone fights a bear, Cody wins a bat, Peanut goes full Bobby Knight, and at the end of it all we crown a champion. Thanks for listening, ya'll.
Mar 6, 2022
1 hr 32 min

You've waited and waded through nearly a full year of flap-jawing and general bungus from us for this moment. It's finally here. Join us next week for the Big Toon Tourney Final. But for now, just listen in to three cool cats discuss the Starting 5 All Star Game. I draft against Peanut as Cody keeps us on topic. Topics such as: our new cold open, Piccolo having won the dunk contest, my awful Charles Barkley impression, the Rudy Gobert pick, which players have dated Taylor Swift, and oh yeah, who wins the game. Special guest appearances made by Pedro Pascal, Taylor Swift, and Kanye West.
Feb 27, 2022
1 hr 17 min

It's the Final Four (brr brr dee brrr!) and we've got Peanut's 2 Seed Moon Goddess Incubation Chamber taking on Isaac's 3 Seed Po Boys in an epic clash. Steven drops by as a first-time moderator and makes sure we all get along. In this ep: Piccolo discovers something about himself, Isaac's team rallies around the plight of the panda, Slade sets the tone, we wonder if Fire Lord Ozai's shoulder can reach 3,500 degrees Fahrenheit, Peanut's chemistry is questioned, and Danny Phantom thinks up a terrifying new way to draw fouls. Special appearances by Vegeta, TB12, and Christmases Bryant.
Feb 20, 2022
1 hr 36 min

In today's episode we dive deeper than ever before into two teams who understand the stakes. Teabo's 1 Seed Five's Five return like Groundhog Day to do battle against Cody's 5 Seed Seattle Divinity in a rematch of the Cartoon Network Final. Dillon is joined by Chase (Chestuh McBadBad) to decide who moves on to the final. In today's ep: I pull lots of quotes out of context, there's some Talkin' Sauce slander and also support, #FreeBlossom gets trending, we make a lot of visual jokes, the God of Basketball changes position, Numbah 5 becomes the empathetic villain, Kevin Levin makes a bid for defensive player of the year, and a good time is had by all. Guest Starring Rocky Balboa and Rod Brind'amour.
Feb 14, 2022
1 hr 6 min

Alright ya'll it's All Star Weekend in the Starting 5-verse. Me, Cohost Cody, and Darius (Peanut (The Creator)) have a pleasant, uneventful, cordial series of conversations about which players deserve to make the team. We start off hot with a major communication issue and it's all downhill from there. In addition to selecting the 20 players for the All Star Team, we give you a truly magnificent Skills Challenge featuring nothing but surprises, a 3-Pt Competition with more jokes per minute than 30 Rock, and a Dunk Contest that will forever live in infamy. Sit back, relax, and listen to the debates.
Feb 6, 2022
1 hr 46 min

In the last matchup of the Elite 8 we pit Teabo's 1 seed Five's 5 against Steven's 8 seed Steven's Seltzer 6 in what was just a flat out good time. In this ep: we slander the marching band; we reveal (or remember) Jenny the Teenage Robot's height; Blossom gets her flowers; King Boomie babbles some more; Aku = spinach; Amon makes a gutsy call; and we discuss if the beard is mightier than the chin. Special halftime guests Phil Jackson and Coach Herman Boone also drop by.
Feb 1, 2022
1 hr 26 min

Buckle up buttercup, cause this one's long. Coming at you live from Indianapolis mere moments after the College Football Playoff, we pit Isaac's 3 seed Po Boys against Kenny's 6 seed Gold City Mayors. We ramble, we jest, we talk some serious hoops, and we find flaws in our format. In this ep: Kenny goes to Wendy's, Coach K drops by, we get a Ray Drew namedrop, Po sets the NBA record for screen assists, Wilt gets a cool one-handed 30, we make some great jokes that translate well for the audio media, we get the best player comps (I say it every time but every time it's true), and the ghost of Betty White inspires one team.
Jan 23, 2022
1 hr 45 min

In today's second round matchup we pit Darius (Peanut(ctrl alt p))'s 2 seed MGIC against Sammy Six Names' 10 seed Self Destruct in a game wherein we remember that Buzz Lightyear can fly. This ep has: a lovely new comps system, foosball, the possibility of a Green Lantern special beam cannon arrow, drinking on the sidelines, some character questions for pretty much everyone on Peanut's team, the evolution of Tigger's three point shot, and fundamentals vs. anarchy. With guest appearances by Kevin Garnett and Jim Belushi.
Jan 16, 2022
1 hr 6 min

In today's episode we break into the second round of the Big Toon Tournament. Justin's number 4 seed Bad Boyz host Cody's number 5 seed Seattle Divinity in a game that canonically takes place at the Palace at Auburn Hills directly after the Malice. Justin has packed the crowd and co-moderator Darius (Peanut (ctrl alt p))) makes sure security is at an all-time low. In this ep: Peanut takes over, the boys discuss Perry the Platypus' alleged death, Panthro manages to stay on the court, Zeus is distracted by Justin's special halftime speech guest, Kevin Levin becomes a talking sword, Genie is mic'ed up and talking spicy, we get some truly golden NBA comps, and finally, the toughest decision yet comes down to double overtime.
Jan 9, 2022
1 hr 19 min
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