Have you ever failed publicly — in a way that everyone around you could see? I did. I walked away from a high-status, well-paying job with no backup plan, no other offer, and no real financial cushion. And everyone in my world was watching. This is the first episode in my Bouncing Forward mini-series, and it's about exactly that — not bouncing back to where you were, but bouncing forward to somewhere better.Why Some People Don't Come BackPublic failure carries a specific kind of weight — the humiliation, the awareness that people are watching, the fear that what you did will define how they see you. I've watched people fold under that weight, cutting off friendships, avoiding eye contact, never recovering. This episode is about making sure that doesn't happen to you.The Job She LeftA high-demand company, team awards (the hardest ones to win there), 100+ hour work weeks, and then a boss who made clear that the punishing pace was now the permanent expectation. Jill's best friend cleared out her entire office in one visit and said: you're done here. Three weeks later she walked out with no job lined up — and everyone knew it.Resist the First Life RaftThe temptation in public failure is to grab whatever comes along first, just to stop the bleeding. Jill did the opposite. She analyzed what had made her miserable, what she had actually loved, and built a clear picture of what the next role needed to look like. New hire training, for example, had been one of the highlights of her month — that was going on the list.The Shift: From Job-Seeker to EvaluatorThe moment she got clear on what she actually wanted, the dynamic changed completely. She was no longer interviewing for jobs — they were auditioning for her. She needed to be convinced this company would make her happy. That shift in mindset changed everything about how she approached the search.The Landing Is More Important Than the FallThree weeks after making her list, Jill found the job she spent the next fifteen years in. Everyone sees you fall. But everyone also sees where you land. If you can hold out long enough to aim the landing — to figure out what the next chapter actually needs to look like rather than just stopping the bleeding — the bounce forward becomes something real.ClosingWhatever your situation looks like — a relationship, a city, a business, a role in your family — the fears are probably similar. What am I going to do? How will I pay for this? But if you can resist grabbing the first life raft and instead ask: what does the next chapter need to look like? — that's where the real bounce forward happens. Next week we talk about private, long-term failure. Different kind of hard.Jill’s Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at [email protected] choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

265: The Power of Pretending: How Psychological Halloweenism Can Improve Your LifeIn this episode, we explore a fascinating and unexpected idea: pretending your way into better choices. It might sound counterintuitive, especially in a culture that champions authenticity. But what if tapping into a different persona, even temporarily, could make you braver, healthier, and more productive? Welcome to the concept of psychological Halloweenism—the practice of stepping outside your own identity to access traits you need in the moment.Inspired by a quote from Jim Henson—“Life’s like a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending.”—this episode dives into how adopting a different mindset or character can push us toward growth and better decision-making.Top Topics in This Episode1. The Science of Pretending and the Brain's RolePretending isn’t about being fake—it’s about gaining perspective. When we imagine how someone else would approach a problem, the brain pulls from our own experiences and merges them with that imagined personality. This creates mental distance from our usual behavior patterns, helping us think and act in new, more productive ways.2. Lessons from Childhood: Halloween and BeyondKids know this intuitively—put on a superhero costume and suddenly they’re bold and unstoppable. That confidence boost doesn’t have to be limited to childhood. Adults can benefit from stepping into different roles too, whether it’s through visualization, intentional behavior changes, or playful role-play.3. Psychological Halloweenism in ActionWe look at a 2016 study that showed how pretending to be someone else—like a narrow-minded librarian or a creative poet—helped people think more creatively. The specific persona didn’t matter; what mattered was getting outside their default mindset.4. Real-Life Role Models and Borrowed TraitsFrom imagining a friend who’s super organized to channeling a bold, assertive personality in tough situations, you’ll hear practical stories about using alter egos to face challenges. Whether it’s Grocery Shopping Jill, a fictional rule-setter who keeps spending in check, or a fitness-minded adventurer friend, these personas offer clarity and motivation.5. Power Poses and the Missed MessageWe revisit the infamous “power pose” concept, not as a failed body language trick, but as an example of missing the point. It wasn’t the pose that created confidence—it was the story and persona behind it that mattered. Without imagination and internal narrative, the magic falls flat.6. Odysseus and Rule-Based Self-ControlDrawing inspiration from Greek mythology, the episode illustrates how we can create systems to protect ourselves from our own impulses. Just as Odysseus tied himself to the mast to resist the sirens, we can adopt personas that follow pre-set rules to avoid self-sabotage.Key TakeawaysSometimes, we need to borrow courage, discipline, or creativity. Pretending to be someone who already has the traits we lack in the moment can help us overcome inertia, make better choices, and reach our goals. This doesn’t fracture your identity—it builds a bridge to the person you want to become. Whether it's Grocery Shopping Jill, a fearless adventurer, or a highly organized roommate, those alter egos can be powerful guides.Using psychological Halloweenism gives us a break from self-judgment, allowing action and growth where there might otherwise be resistance. Pretending, far from being fake, can be one of the most authentic steps toward change. So the next time you're stuck, ask: Who would handle this better? Then, pretend you’re them—just long enough to take the next right step.This episode is your invitation to explore what it means to grow through imagination and intentional identity-shifting. Who might you become—if only for a moment—to move forward in your life?Jill’s Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at [email protected] choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

182 - Turn Your Ship Around In this podcast episode, we’re delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It’s Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We’re exploring how the principle of “ownership” can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity. We’re discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members’ spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance. But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team. We’re examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them. In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team’s morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team’s performance. https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/ https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at [email protected]

182 - Turn Your Ship Around In this podcast episode, we’re delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It’s Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We’re exploring how the principle of “ownership” can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity. We’re discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members’ spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance. But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team. We’re examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them. In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team’s morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team’s performance. https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/ https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at [email protected]

182 - Turn Your Ship Around In this podcast episode, we’re delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It’s Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We’re exploring how the principle of “ownership” can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity. We’re discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members’ spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance. But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team. We’re examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them. In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team’s morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team’s performance. https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/ https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at [email protected]

182 - Turn Your Ship Around In this podcast episode, we’re delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It’s Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We’re exploring how the principle of “ownership” can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity. We’re discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members’ spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance. But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team. We’re examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them. In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team’s morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team’s performance. https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/ https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at [email protected]

182 - Turn Your Ship Around In this podcast episode, we’re delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It’s Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We’re exploring how the principle of “ownership” can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity. We’re discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members’ spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance. But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team. We’re examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them. In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team’s morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team’s performance. https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/ https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at [email protected]

182 - Turn Your Ship Around In this podcast episode, we’re delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It’s Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We’re exploring how the principle of “ownership” can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity. We’re discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members’ spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance. But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team. We’re examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them. In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team’s morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team’s performance. https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/ https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at [email protected]

182 - Turn Your Ship Around In this podcast episode, we’re delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It’s Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We’re exploring how the principle of “ownership” can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity. We’re discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members’ spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance. But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team. We’re examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them. In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team’s morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team’s performance. https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/ https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at [email protected]

182 - Turn Your Ship Around In this podcast episode, we’re delving into the world of leadership, through the experience of a commanding officer plays in shaping the culture and morale of their ship. We will review the book It’s Your Ship, Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by Captain D. Michael Abrashoff. We’re exploring how the principle of “ownership” can transform a low-morale ship into a thriving, successful vessel. Captain Abershoff allows his crew to take ownership of their areas of responsibility, allowing them to make decisions and solve problems independently unless it would cause significant monetary loss or harm to the ship or crew. This way, the crew members feel more involved and responsible, which increases their overall morale and productivity. We’re discussing how he fostered a sense of community and camaraderie among the crew is vital in improving their morale and productivity. He enabled small gestures, like improving the quality of food or organizing beach barbecues, to make a significant difference in boosting the crew members’ spirits. The commanding officer also encourages personal growth among his crew by helping them improve in their areas of interest and promoting them based on their performance. But leadership also means knowing what your company, country, ship, its mission and your boss needs for you to do. You should be aware of their goals in order for the ship to fulfill those goals and to create trust between you and the leadership. Once you have built that trust, you will have more ability to make changes for your team. We’re examining some of the challenges and potential pitfalls of this leadership style. While it successfully turned the ship around, it created some animosity among other ship commanders who felt threatened or uncomfortable with the unconventional approach. The commanding officer reflects that he could have been more diplomatic in dealing with his counterparts and built bridges instead of alienating them. In conclusion, a commanding officer, family leader or any leader can significantly influence their team’s morale and productivity. Fostering a sense of ownership, community, personal growth, and fun can profoundly impact the team’s performance. https://www.mikeabrashoff.com/ https://startwithsmallsteps.com/182-turn-your-ship-around/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJill https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepspodcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/smallstepspod https://twitter.com/SmallStepsPod Email the podcast at [email protected]