Captain Renaud may not have passed the nightmare hazing ritual that is the Starfleet Academy entrance exam, but nonetheless he has the pride of being a starship captain... albeit of the transport ship Kallisko, a low-end slow-as-heck ship from Nowheresville. Can he save his ship from the massive space pop rock that is the Crystalline Entity? No, he cannot. Meanwhile, the Brothers Weems talk about the wild Kit-Kats of Japan and carbonating dinner classics. Get some antacid. It's an all new pod!

Gul Dolak isn't a Gul Dukat. He's not suave, definitely no ladies' man, and he's stuck in a boring assignment in Nowheresville in a remote border region. So when he has the chance to destroy a burning trash-heap of a Bajoran ship, he'll risk angering the flagship of the Federation to do so. Meanwhile, the Brothers Weems get all fanboyish over Ensign Ro Laren, the original Starfleet bad girl, talk VR, and Kyle discovers he has no idea what pigs are made of. Strap on that VR helmet, it's a new pod!

The Children of Tama can only talk in memes, really dank obscure memes, at that. Which makes the Universe a very lonely place. The boredom of never being able to talk to anyone other than his own crew makes Dathon, captain of the Tama, so wound up that the only way to get relief is to beam down with JLP, a pair of daggers, and hope for the best. But does old man Picard know enough about memes to make this work? Also, Conrad's a dad?! It's time for another wild pod!

Riker & Geordi get to reform the dream team of LaRiker when it's time to form a Tachyon Detection Grid to find hidden Romulan ships, taking over the USS Excalibur. While they're having a fun time, Data gets saddled with a way less good time on the falling apart USS Sutherland, complete with first officer Christopher "The Nob" Hobson. Will Data survive Hobson's intransience? Will Kyle live up to Riker's birthday advice? Will Conrad learn how to pretend to be a trombone? Tune in and find out!

When you're in the Klingon Civil War, there's not a better ship in Gowron's fleet to serve on than the IKS Hegh'ta, where none other than the two hottest singles in the Empire, the Sons of Mogh, serve. Can weapons officer Worf stand serving under his little brother Captain Kurn? Is beard-chewing a form of Klingon foreplay? Will the Brothers Weems agree upon the fair market value of remote office workers in a world without offices? Tune in and find out!

Season 4 of TNG is behind us, and to light it on fire in a boat on its way to Sto-vo-kor, the Brothers Weems drag producer Kevin onto the show for a look back at the ships of the season, Ferengi nepotism, the nightmare that is Starfleet Academy entrance exams, and whatever else comes to their minds. What's their favorite ship of the season? Did Picard grow up to become the same crazy-pants admiral we see as guests in the TNG days? Get some popcorn and strap-in for this mega-sized season finale!

When you're Gowron, Chancellor of the Klingon Empire, you can't just fly around in any old junky bird-of-prey. No, you need the new hotness that is a Vor'cha-class cruiser like the IKS Bortas. Which, despite its new hotness, seems to be all steel and cement inside with no windows. Is that a good thing? Well, it does help when Duras loyalists are pounding you! Will Gowron survive the Klingon Civil War? What does "Pistachio Nine Blue" even mean? Tune in to answer at least one of those questions!

24th century Romulans have exactly one look: pageboy haircuts, bondage leather straps, and square-as-heck 90's power shoulders. All of which Sela, the commander of the warbird Gorakus, rocks with one unusual feature: blonde hair. The half-human daughter of an alternate reality's Tasha Yar (just go with it), Sela's blonde locks aren't stopping her ambition to destroy the Federation. Will she outwit Picard? Will Dwight the Murder Deer kill Kyle in his sleep? What sport is multi-story? Tune in to find out!

The only thing worse for a new officer in Starfleet than being assigned to an Oberth-class starship is being assigned to an Oberth-class starship that's being used as a retired admiral's bus. Worse yet, for the crew of the USS Cochrane, that admiral is Norah Satie, who's trying to bring the Inquisition back in style. Will acting captain Aguilar keep the remnants of his crew alive after her draconian trials? Will Lt. Kurland get his friendship braclet back from J'dan? Only one way to find out!

The USS Brattain is, like all Miranda-class starships in the 24th, a pretty grim place to be assigned. How grim? Well, for one, the folks at space dock didn't even put spell the name on the hull right. Also there's used mall doors as substitute walls on the bridge? The only mercy is their inevitable death when a region of space time causes them to never dream again. Oh wait... did we say mercy? All this, and Conrad laughs for like two minutes straight like Data from that Q episode.