Shut Up Simon
Shut Up Simon
Simon U.
Life's hard. So what? Comedian Simon U. offers profound and arguable useless wisdom for anyone with time to kill. New episodes every Monday.
Momma's Bando ft. Chike Robinson
Folks in the hood(speaking to my ninja's) need therapy the most. Just go see somebody. I swear even tho it's a lot of "therapy talk" in this episode, you will laugh your a$$ off. I'm not sure if any of the platforms care if you curse in the description but all the brand-building videos on youtube got me shook. This week comedian, writer, animator Chike Robinson pulls up. I promise ya'll will enjoy the next 45 mins. We talk about the Migos, how to do w/ separating from your homies, selling bootleg CDs. Whatever we were talking about, it was funny as hell. IG: @shutupsimonpod       @hereschikeWatch us on Youtube
Jun 21, 2021
48 min
Mulatto Propoganda ft. @talentharris
Why do the top 3 biracial rappers all have white mommas? Comedian Talent Harris pulls up to answer this question. We also discuss the best way to lie to our future kids in the age of endless information.IG: @talentharrisIG: @shutupsimonpod Twitter: @simonuforrealWatch this episode on Youtube.
Jun 14, 2021
44 min
Box Me Please ft. @electra_telesford
DID YOU MISS ME???? It's been a while. R.I.P Paul Mooney. His conviction to not just his truth but the truth is the reason he is so respected and coveted. While I was gone I celebrated my two-year stand-up anniversary.  I thought I would've been touring the world playing blues harmonica by this time. My homie Electra(@electra_telly) pulls up cuz she's been in the game about the same amount of time. She's already famous. If you're in Brooklyn, on Wednesdays and want a place to go that will guarantee you dope ass if stories, come to @stankfacecomedy. Wednesdays at Starr Bar- 214 Starr St. Brooklyn, NY@shutupsimonpod@simonuforreal@electra_telly@stankfacecomedyBig thanks to @byasleon for allowing us to record in their shop. Watch this episode on Youtube.
Jun 7, 2021
58 min
Ain't Nothing Special About Being Special ft. @jachukuomotayo
One time I got mistaken for Pharrell & Bruno Mars in the same day. Okay, maybe not "mistaken for," but I was told I looked like them. They don't even look alike. I thought I was special, but really, I just fit the short light skin, archetype. But that's cool too, both them fools got Grammys. This week my fashion homie @jachukuomotayo pulls up & we dispel the myth of originality. IG:shutupsimonpod & @jachukuomotayoTwitter:simonuforrealWatch us on Youtube
May 3, 2021
22 min
Don't Leave Your Partner 'Cuz They're a Six
What if somebody told you that they could give you everything you ever wanted? They promised you, that over the course of your lifetime, all of your wildest dreams can come true. All you had to do was shake their hand and maybe work a little harder but that's about it. You agree, and when you go to shake hands with them, their hand is covered in sh-t? We will always get what we want, never how we want it. IG:shutupsimonpodTwitter:simonuforrealWatch on Youtube.
Apr 25, 2021
20 min
Cone Thugs-N-Harmony ft.@MattMiggz
A whole lot of jokes this week, with a pinch of life-altering information. I pulled up on @mattmiggz this week to see what's taking him so long with the best album the world has ever seen. We also revisit the most offensive names from Flavor of Love, & Ray-J's show where he was looking for a hoochie. People forget that's Brandy's brother.We forty episodes in. I love all ya'll musty a$$e$IG: @mattmiggzIG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforrealhttps://youtu.be/4ry8SmY1xY4
Apr 12, 2021
27 min
Nurturing the Inner Lil' Homie
"If you can remember how you got where you are now, you can figure out the rest." - SimeezyBruh, I could really start a business making fortune cookies for cajun seafood restaurants. People who enjoy sauteed clam strips appreciate a good anecdote. In this week's episode, I go into the importance of reconnecting with your inner lil' homie. s/o to @amerikanheathenog for the dripIG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforrealhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062 https://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7
Apr 7, 2021
19 min
Pop, Lock, & Tok It
My homie @edwards_eli pulls up to give Simon the skinny on how to be Tik Tok famous so I can move to California and live in a lukewarm hot tub. Also, if she asks you to take your shoes off, you already know what's up. Big thanks to @edwards_eliIG:@shutupsimonpodTwitter:simonuforrealWatch us on Youtube.https://youtu.be/8azHzzVmk5Yhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062https://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7
Mar 29, 2021
38 min
The Player or The Game? Which Do We Hate The Most?
You mad at Michael Jordan, or you mad at basketball?Also, if you ain't from Atlanta, shut yo' a$$ up. IG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: @simonuforrealWatch on Youtubehttps://youtu.be/DaqjpQ1knsQhttps://open.spotify.com/show/4bilt5MYhEHNqTxzYSD0R7https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/shut-up-simon/id1509884062
Mar 22, 2021
15 min
What Are You Just Sayin?
This week I give a lesson in cooperation. The first lesson, if you have something to say, that is more than obvious, don't say it. The second lesson, if you have something to say that isn't that obvious, don't say it, yet. IG: @shutupsimonpodTwitter: simonuforrealWatch us on Youtube.
Mar 15, 2021
16 min
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