In small communities, whether that’s a small city or simply being queer and polyamorous, exes and old connections often overlap. We're discussing how to navigate these interactions and collaborate with our partners to establish agreements or guidelines for engaging with others in our social circles. We'll explore topics such as control, comfort and discomfort, preferences and requests vs rules, and ultimatums. These concepts can help us manage our partners' relationships outside of our own while also considering what is possible and ethical. You’ll hear— (12:52) How much control do you have over interactions with your exes (16:12) Making requests and ethical boundaries  (24:48) The importance of flexibility and understanding in agreements (31:58) Queer joys Connect with Keely:     •    Follow them on Instagram and TikTok     •    Follow Connective Therapy Collective on Instagram and Facebook   Connect with Melisa:     •    Follow them on Instagram     •    Follow Therapeutic Ideas on Instagram   If you like the show, please leave a rating and review and tell us your thoughts on Instagram @Queer_Relationships_Queer_Joy  

Are you navigating non-monogamy as a newbie, feeling intimidated by those with more experience who have read all the books or had lots of partners? Or maybe you're the one with the experience, rolling your eyes at the fresh faces? We’re exploring the nuances of different experience levels in the context of non-monogamy because experience doesn't guarantee a great partner or ethical behavior, just as being new doesn't always lead to disaster. You’ll hear— (12:38) The nuances of being experienced or new to non-monogamy (22:15) Having a beginner’s mind and staying curious (30:07) Generational differences in non-monogamy (38:37) Going into a relationship with intentionality (42:52) Queer Joys Let us know your experience exploring these dynamics as either a newbie or someone with experience. As always, you can find us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.

How do we engage with the world around us and continue some form of activism or social justice while also finding moments of joy? We’re exploring this question to bring some optimism and mindfulness when it feels like the world is fire.  You’ll hear (5:56) Finding joy in challenging times (8:37) Balancing activism with moments of joy and hope. (13:56) Finding hope and inspiration in small moments, or glimmers  (19:43) Oxytocin and sex (25:23) Meaning, joy, and overstimulation in modern life (28:06) Queer joys Keep up with Melisa on Instagram @therapeutic.ideas and look out for the training on April 20th by Alex Iantaffi on mixed orientation relationships at Eventbrite or connectivetherapycollective.com.

Differentiation of self is like learning how to be your own person while still being part of a group, or a relationship. We’re unpacking this fancy psychological term by Bowen and applying it to dating to help you be connected with your own emotions while also being present for others.  You’ll hear— (15:19) What “differentiation of self” is and why Melisa thinks it’s a fun term  (18:38) Differentiation in the context of relationships (25:12) How to practice self-awareness in this process (29:47) Queer joys Connect with us over on Instagram @melisa.deseguirant and @queer_therapist_pdx

How do we stay calm and adaptable in the face of life's ups and downs, especially in our relationships? We’ve talked before about regulating your nervous system, but after you’ve taken those first steps, let’s shift the conversation to building flexibility and adaptability. You’ll hear— (12:46) Finding reliability and stability during times of unexpected change (15:31) How to ground yourself to feel a sense of consistency (21:29) Creating relationship rituals (26:56) What to do if you struggle with change or are neurodivergent (32:22) Queer Joys Let us know what you thought of this episode @QueerRelationshipsQueerJoy or email us at [email protected]

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had your queer awakening to your friend moonwalking in the office, the same friend that also officiated your wedding to another man. Anyone? Well luckily, we found that exact couple, Caroline and Amy Bouvin, and they’re here to tell you their unconventional but very queer love story.   You’ll hear– (02:54) How Amy and Caroline became friends (06:44) Making out with girls while drunk (the signs were there) (10:37) Sobriety and moving in together (18:09) Coming out to family and the grief of divorce (26:41) Joyful moments from the proposal and wedding (37:36) Queer Joys   If you are interested in Amy and Caroline’s couples retreat you can check it out here. And let us know what you thought of this episode @Queer_Relationships_Queer_Joy.

It’s easy to dismiss Valentine's Day as this commericialized holiday full of red roses, hallmark cards, and cupid’s arrows. The real meaning of love gets buried under all the marketing hype. That's why we're all about redefining the holiday, making it more about genuine love and connection, as we like to put it, leading with love as we move through our relationships. You’ll hear (12:56) What it looks like to lead with love in daily life (18:23) When it’s not possible to lead with love (21:05) Balancing love with other challenging emotions (30:26) Queer joys If you want to keep the conversation going, let us know what you think by writing in at [email protected].

Everyone feels stressed and anxious from time to time, but high stress leaves an impact on your body, particularly your nervous system. Join us for an overview on understanding how to calm our nervous system and why its important for your relationship health.  You’ll hear (15:24) The nuances of anxiety, dysregulation, and sensations in the body (18:59) Coregulating in relationships (21:23) Strategies to regulate stress and strengthen the vagus nerve (36:41) Queer joys   Chat with us more about this topic over on Instagram  

Ah, New Relationship Energy (NRE)–that magical, butterflies-in-your-stomach phase at the start of a new relationship, where everything feels exciting and your new person seems absolutely perfect.  Maybe you're in this phase–love it or hate it–or maybe you're on the outside watching someone else experience this rush. Whichever side you’re on, we’re discussing how to navigate NRE.   You’ll hear (10:23) How we experience NRE and how it impacts others (18:22) NRE in non-monogamous relationships (25:56) Change, jealousy, and trust issues (28:39) Setting boundaries, self-care, and sitting with the unknown  (39:51) Queer Joys   Let us know your thoughts on NRE over on Instagram!

We love the energy of the New Year, especially as a time for embracing new intentions and releasing old patterns. Today, we’re sharing how we can slow down to evaluate relationships, trust our intuition over societal expectations, and use the winter season for reflection and leaving behind what no longer serves us.   You’ll hear– (11:19) Slowing down & the process of transformation. (13:16) Rest, setting intentions, and personal growth during winter. (21:26) Goal-setting with attunement and awareness. (30:08) Relationship markers, grief, and New Year's “NRE”. (34:39) Queer joys.   Let us know what intentions you have for the new year and connect with us over on Instagram.