As promised, we have returned to attack your earbuds and heartbuds with Clippy, the erotic tale of a Microsoft Office Assistant turned horndog. Unless . . . there's a plot twist that causes us to question the entirety of this universe.

After a long, awful, horrible bout of Covid, your friendly neighbourhood garbage lawyers are back reading horrendously weird smut. There are some weird audio glitches, and we are sorry about that. We're back, baby! Happy New Year!

Happy New Season, everyone! This new book is Conquered by Clippy, by Leonard Delaney. Prepare your earholes for whatever the fuck this is.

Season finale! Hello friends, join us today as we scream into the void about the worst relationship ever. Also we finally made a Patreon. No pressure: https://www.patreon.com/LoveLawyers.

In this episode, I, Memphis, am vindicated. Our ultimate villain -- the BITCHWIFE -- shows her skanky face. Also a bunch of Star Wars jokes I couldn't figure out if I should cut or not. Enjoy!

The mystery! The drama! The suspense! Who will spill their heart out? The whiny, needy protagonist who has made zero good decisions since this saga started, or the cold, emotionless douche who does the bare minimum and is praised for it? Find out in this episode!

He did it all for the nookie. Remember kids -- the only thing that can stop a sad lawyer with a grudge is a . . . sexy lawyer with a blowjob? I don't know, it sounded good in my head. I'll come up with something better next week . . . Probably not though.

Matt and Makayla have adult conversations that are mostly Matt putting his fingers inside his girlfriend while she tries to have a serious discussion. Don't worry - she's fixed him. Liz and Memphis start a Dave-related foundation to protect an underserved population.

When last we left off, a surprisingly well written sex scene between two people who clearly love each other very much. How can this book possible f*** that up?

Matt finds the clitoris, Makayla doesn't drink wine, and a child may or may not be around. Warning: contains graphic mentions of a lady lawyer's lower parts, and a regular lawyer's wang.