PowerPivot

"predictability makes people feel comfortable. It makes them feel known."Let's take a brief pause from our theme of "Love the One You're With," and go on a little side quest. Tara McMullin's excellent podcast "What Works" recently dropped an episode called "In Defense of Gimmicks." (Click here to check that out.) Leela has some thoughts on this and the way that we might look at a 'gimmick' as a container, or a form, or even a ritual. And definitely as one more tool for finding mutual understanding.Transcript and notes: https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/responding-to-what-worksRecorded 9 February 2024.

"we have this built-in system of contempt. It's a mutual reciprocal system of contempt in our culture between intensives and expansives."It's February, and our theme this month is "Love the One You're With." And what we mean by that is, thinking about how to love and appreciate and work with people who are on the opposite side of the Intensive-Expansive scale from ourselves. There is a often a socially constructed send of contempt between intensives and expansives. How do we break that system in order to appreciate the gifts and skills that each brings. (Hint: we need each other.)For starters, let's talk about how to recognize intensives and expansives in the wild. You probably know which one you are- but how do you know about the person across from you?For the SIEF assessment, visit: https://intensivesinstitute.com/assessment/To learn more about the Gottman Institute and the Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse, visit: https://www.gottman.com/Transcript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/love-who-nowRecorded 5 February 2024.

"When we are desperate to rest, and we don't rest, it sets off every alarm bell in our system.... Rest is the space of becoming."Wrapping up our theme of the tension between the need to do and the need to rest. Last time we talked about 'the way opens'- taking the first step, so that the next step might reveal itself. What happens when the next step reveals itself... as rest? (Hint: rest should definitely be part of the answer.)For more on Tricia Hersey and Rest is Resistance, visit The Nap MinistryTranscript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/when-way-opens-to-restRecorded 29 January 2024.

"How much are we really going to trust that we take one step and "way will open." And when way opens, how de we trust that we'll go that way?"There is a Quaker saying that we take one step and the way will open. Which we can think of, we may not be able to see the entire path from where we start, but if we take the first step, then the next step will reveal itself. This is not easy for intensives as it involves waiting. It also involves a lot of trust- in ourselves, in our ability to see and take that next step; in our ability to even believe that the path which has revealed itself is the right path for us. And also, a trust in our ability to know when it is time to wait, to rest, to take a deep breath. What is the next step? Where do we go from here? Perhaps, if we take one step- be it a bold one or a tentative one- then way will open.Transcript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/way-will-openRecorded 29 January 2024.

"Beginning often begins with imagining. We think and we visualize and we imagine and we research. And it's possible to let the research become a stall tactic. But there's also a lot of value to that research, there's a lot of value to that thinking time, to that imagining time."Last episode we talked about how to choose one task to focus on, even when we are overwhelmed by choices (most of which feel like necessities.) Now that we've chosen a task- how do we start? Perhaps we visualize or imagine the very beginning, the very first step. Perhaps, just reaching the very beginning can be enough.Transcript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/the-very-beginningRecorded 23 January 2024.

"Find the small tasks that are actually the tasks, and then just do one of them. And then do a different one. And honor your limits."Getting unstuck, figuring out where to start... sometimes there is so much to do, so much even that we want to do and find pleasure in doing, that choosing where to start becomes overwhelming. Let's look at a few different strategies for finding our starting point, including (in no particular order, because what works will alway be individual to the person and their circumstances):-start with the easiest thing, the low-hanging fruit.-start with the thing you're passionate about, following your intensiveness.-start with the thing that causes you anxiety, because once you have done it you will be free of that anxiety, which has been haunting you every time you think about that task anyway.-start with the thing what will bring you pleasure. You do not have to put off your own pleasure.-start with something that you will feel good about doing for someone else.We're sure there are more, but this is a place to start.Transcript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/the-fine-art-of-picking-somethingRecorded 23 January 2024.

"Adrenaline and cortisol are there to help us run away from tigers. Literally. Now we have all of this adrenaline built up. We have all this cortisol built up. And we don't know what to do with it. Neither does our body. And so how do we blow it off? And then how do we take care of ourselves after we've blown it off?"In the previous episode, we talk about creating intensity in order to release stress and strain. But once we have done that, or after we've done anything emotionally intense, we need care. This is where we can figure out how to hold ourselves, and make sure we're held, in the ways that we need, in order to recover after the pressure is released. And to make this a first priority.The book by Peter Levine that is mentioned is called "Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma." Visit https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/se-books to learn more.Transcript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/aftercare-for-intensive-releaseRecorded 15 January 2024.

"what do we do with with that... fizz? The fizz in the bottle that's been shaken that is going to explode? What do we do with it? ... what I needed, was to let off steam. I needed abandon. I needed to stop being careful, I needed to stop being cautious. I needed to stop placing so many fences around what was okay."Continuing our theme of making space- how do we make space by releasing the pressure that builds up in ourselves? How do we release the tension when the need to do, and the need to not do, press or pull against each other in our selves?"Blow the Carbon Out," a song by LJ Booth:https://youtu.be/ETM-Zc6o7jA?si=NpJYN3Eorhm6vvheTranscript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/releasing-the-pressureRecorded 15 January 2024

"What we still don't have is the proverbial clear desk. That "clear mind-clear desk" thing actually puts me into a state of panic."Thinking about making space- and how 'making space' does not mean 'making emptiness.' Also- the full Saga of the Sit-Stand Desk.Here is the photo of Leela's desk:https://drive.google.com/file/d/1t7VadexhtFNb3Rj_z1d4yyMg-PnamuIf/view?usp=sharingTranscript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/making-but-not-emptying-a-spaceRecorded 8 January 2024.

"We all need to maybe finish a couple things that have been with us for so long, that we can't remember not having them. So that we can have space. Not even so we can add something new to the list. Just to have space."We all, each of us, have a lot of balls in the air. How do we create the space for ourselves to know which ones to keep and which ones to let fall? Sometimes, picking a project to finish can help create that space. Especially when we don't put pressure ourselves to finish, and just take it one step at a time. Leela Sinha talks about picking up a project that has been in "time out" for a year, and finding spaciousness in completion.Links:Learn more about membership in the Intensives Institute:https://intensivesinstitute.com/membership/The Bernadette Banner video that launched a thousand pirate shirts:https://youtu.be/Ql9r8UKIvZs?si=CWOCRMvHF4yENspjTranscript and notes:https://dev.intensivesinstitute.com/captivate-podcast/making-space-for-making-mannequins-and-brainsRecorded 7 January 2024.