MERRRRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY PORG CHATTER!!!

This week, we discuss the crypto crash, Asterios' awful alarm clock, The Good Doctor, mailed-in-a-box meats, MadBondz, drug addictions, McDonalds cups, and...PORGS-GIVING!  Art by the amazing Magi. They did it for free just to be cool, so please follow them at @magipicsandsuch on Twitter!

Henlo it’s Skinachos. Asterios won’t let me watch anime until I write this post copy, so enjoy this episode of Porg Chatter before I put myself in an Idolm@ster coma like the worthless piece of human garbage that I am. Speaking of rotting garbage, in this episode, we return from the Mecca of Porgs: Orlando, Florida. I have recently come into possession of three new sons:  Caffeine (a coffee cup with a lobotomy) Dumpling (a mechanical talking porg who apparently hates women)   And Kevin (a stuffed porg who’s closer to me emotionally than drinky-drivey lawyer Kevin Landau is physically to his ankle alcohol monitor).  Plus, there’s still one more week to enter our iTunes review contest to win your very own stuffed porglet! All you have to do is write a review on iTunes, then send a screencap of it to [email protected]. Lmao imagine being able to build traps and shit and everyone still hates you THIS POST WAS MADE BY PORG GANG. Enjoy!

Ohayo gozaimasu! It’s Srirancha back with a brand new track—and it’s a new episode of Porg Chatter!   Yesterday, I got so high that I forgot how to work my own limbs. But you know who doesn’t need help using his arms and legs to move her fat lil body? Not Tallard, my new 4ft tall porg—she’s massive.  And also not real. I recently made a video on Twitch unboxing Tallard, which some of you Jesus-needing fucks apparently found sexual. There’s nothing sexual about the pure unbridled love between a girl and her 4ft tall chubby baby. On this episode of Porg Chatter, we review Tallard and discuss whether or not she came from an abusive household. Thanks for listening! 

The fuck? I'm not even IN this episode! Some Asterios Kokkinos Podcast Factory this turned out to be...here's the description from the Mother of Porgs herself, Siranche: * * *  Hello! It's Srirancha, coming to you with a brand new episode of Porg Chatter--featuring the one and only Minnesota lawyer Nick Rekieta. You've been asking for it! You've been begging for it! You've been relentlessly harassing me on Twitter for it! Much like actual porgs, you've been screeching into the void until I break down like an exhausted parent and just give you what you want. Prepare to get very excited when you see that notification pop up and then be immediately disappointed because you've built this episode up in your brain to be so hysterical that it will put you into a coma.  Is this what you wanted? Are you entertained? Are you happy? Does this make you happy? Do you love this shit? Are you high right now? Do you ever get nervous? Are you single? Anyways, listen to me and Rackets briefly discuss porg law and then proceed to talk way more about Four Lokos and the original McDonald's french fries than porgs. This has been Porg Chatter. 

Sirancha continues to torture me with her "Best Debate" parody series in this week's episode of PORG CHATTER!

Sirancha and I have a new porg! He's Wallard's brother, but he's very small, so his name is...SMOLLARD. You'll hear all about him, AND get to vote on his fate, on this week's episode of P-P-P-POOORRGG CHATTEERRRR!! POLL QUESTIONS Question 1: Should Smollard Have Been Aborted? https://www.strawpoll.me/16151994 Question 2: Did Sirancha Say "Lightsaber", "Lifesaver" or "Lightsaver?" https://www.strawpoll.me/16152018 Question 3: How Do You Pronounce "Vitiligo?" https://www.strawpoll.me/16152051

Porgs don't use alcohol to escape their problems. They're only addiction is hugs!  Sadly, Sirancha and I aren't porgs. We open this episode with a, frankly, unusually sincere conversation about how we both need to drink a little less. But then we talk about Porgs so it's all ok, my dudes!

They said it couldn't be done! They said that there was no way a podcast about porgs would EVER hit 7,000 downloads! And YOU PROVED THEM WRONG. Porg Chatter, the only podcast in the world that is EXCLUSIVELY about porgs, just crossed the magic 7,000 download mark. The established mark of excellence and quality for ALL podcasts, porg-centric or otherwise! 7,000 downloads! Let's hear it for ourselves!! AND HERE'S TO 7,000 MORE EPISODES OF PORG CHATTER!! YES!! YES!! THIS IS NOT A MEME AND WE ARE REALLY DOING THIS

"PORGS!" It's not just something you scream during sex,...it's also the name of the latest canonical Star Wars cartoon, "PORGS!" And we review the fuck out of "PORGS!" on this all-new episode of Porg Chatter. You can watch the two minute short, "PORGS!", by clicking here.