PD RAW
PD RAW
Nota Bene
What is it like to suffer from a personality disorder? What lies behind the outside behaviours? PD RAW is a place for people with personality disorders to share our lived experiences, so we can connect to others like ourselves, stop the feelings of loneliness, break down stigma, and help figure out what is going on inside us .
Flawless Part 2 - Learning Distrust
Flawless shares some harrowing details of growing up in an environment plagued by intergenerational trauma and emotional abuse. She recounts experiences of being betrayed or mistreated by family members, leading to a deep-seated distrust of others. Through these anecdotes, Flawless reveals how early childhood interactions shaped her personality, resulting in feelings of mistrust and isolation.
May 4
32 min
Flawless: NPD, ASPD, STPD and Inter-Familial Childhood Torture
TRIGGER WARNING: CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSEIn this episode, we meet Flawless, a young woman grappling with the effects of an intense lack of safety in childhood.Flawless outlines the events leading to her formal diagnoses and shares a few reflections on how she is affected by the guardedness of others, revealing some of challenges of maintaining identity integrity when we haven't had the upbringing to develop it fully.The discussion also touches on some cultural influences around levels of emotional expression, drawing contrasts between various cultural backgroundsFlawless also starts to introduce us to some of the events which impacted her childhood., and the episode ends with a brief description of the core criteria for Schizotypal Personality Disorder.
Apr 19
36 min
Simone: Living with BPD, ADHD, Autism and Family Chaos
Raised by a distant, sometimes violent father and an emotionally unstable mother, Simone was thrust into a caretaker role, trying to stabilise her mother's moods. She describes a family environment fraught with emotional dysregulation, a lack of boundaries, and a strong enmeshment.
Mar 22
36 min
Loksat Part 2: Love & Desctruction
TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSE, VIOLENCE AND MANIPULATIONLoksat, diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder in his late teens, discusses his why he now thinks that he is more likely to fit the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder, and what it was that held him back from expressing himself. He describes his attraction to individuals who have borderline personality disorder (BPD) and how these interactions fulfil his drive for idealisation and withdrawal. He dives into the patterns within his relationship with his BPD girlfriend, and his hopes that understanding and working on these compulations will bring them both some resolution of childhood wounds.
Feb 4
1 hr 8 min
Loksat: NPD with ASPD Traits - Abusive Relationship Patterns
TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF ABUSELoksat was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) at a young age but now, having started to reconnect with his feelings, believes he's more likely to be NPD.He talks about his deliberate manipulations of his BPD girlfriend, what her intense reactions mean to him, and how he finds safety in her acting out.As we dig down into the details of his life, we find powerful factors which have shaped his relationship behaviours, his understanding of the world, and his experience of love.Although the conversation initially might seem like it endorses Loksat acting in destructive ways, it doesn't. Loksat has never known any other way of being, and, as the conversation continues, it starts to become clear that Loksat is aware that he is working through his childhood traumas by recreating them. If we, the Cluster B's who behave in damaging ways within relationships, want to progress beyond those patterns, first we need to understand them. If we are in a relationship and on the receiving end of damaging behaviour, we need to understand it. Knowledge and insight will set us free.
Jan 18
58 min
Learning Vulnerability - Ilkin Part 2
Ilkin talks about his NPD, the suffering behind it, and the steps which led to a great improvement in his experience of himself.
Jan 4
55 min
Ilkin: A Journey from Specialness to Ordinariness - Part 1
Ilkan comes from a country that was once part of the USSR. He shares his journey of self-discovery and recovery and reflects on the perceptions he held about his own intelligence and how distorted beliefs contributed to his narcissistic traits. Through therapy and introspection, Ilkan learns to embrace his ordinariness, allowing himself to connect more authentically with others and experience genuine joy. The episode provides a poignant look at the impacts of societal and familial dynamics on personality development.
Oct 4, 2025
1 hr 23 min
Invisible Part 2: NPD Recovery
In a candid discussion, support-forum moderator and creator of npd-recovery.com, "Invis", opens up about her journey through addiction and mental health issues, finding growth through communication, respect and the Smart Recovery program. This secular alternative to 12-step programs helped initiate a process of rebuilding, despite setbacks like a dramatic shame spiral triggered by a fragile moment. Invis speaks about discovering the importance of redefining success and embracing vulnerability as a strength, ultimately transforming her personal expectations to live a more fulfilling life.
Jul 31, 2025
49 min
Invisible: BPD, NPD & ASPD = cPTSD
Meet the creator of the npd-recovery.com website.
Jul 20, 2025
48 min
Haifa - Bird in a Cage
In this podcast episode, Haifa discusses her diagnoses of borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, giving insight into the challenges and interactions between these conditions. She candidly shares her past struggles with impulsivity, abandonment issues, and the protective role of anger. Haifa touches on her upbringing and her struggles with her demanding mother. Cultural and economic factors are also at play, combining with her family's unaddressed historical trauma to create a painful inheritance. Haifa talks about her relationships, particularly with partners who also have BPD, exploring the intense connection and validation they bring. Now, with a non-disordered partner, she embraces a newfound stability. Haifa's story highlights her journey through therapy and self-awareness, paving the path from a tumultuous past to a more balanced present.
May 20, 2025
56 min
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