Wrestlemania 5 is an incredibly strange paradox. It's simultaneously better than you think it'll be and worse than you think it'll be. There are high highs. There are low lows. There are creamy middles.  Adam has a beer. Newbs doesn't have a beer. And Jesse ponders if it's actually opposite day. 

There are few sure things in wrestling. I will always contend that no matter what a Royal Rumble match will always be surprising, exciting, and incredibly fun.  So here's Royal Rumble 1989 to make a liar out of me.  Jesse gets bummed out by Jake the Snake's life story. Newbs has Jesse Ventura flashbacks. And Adam *unintelligible Andre the Giant grumbling*

Time to go back... TO THE FUTURE! The far flung future of 1988. I'm sure all that 50s sci-fi was right and we're gonna have robot butlers and flying cars and-wait what? It seems that all we have are rest holds and 5 minute matches. WELCOME TO THE HULKAMANIA ERA BABY!

We've been asking for weeks and I really hope you have an answer to the question by now: You think you know me? It's the end of our Edge arc and the end of our journey through 2006. We're getting gas for the time machine as we embark on our next arc, which will take us back further than we've ever gone before.  Jesse does.... something, Newbs does.... something, and Adam has had a busy week and got the episode up late and therefore has forgotten everything that happened to think up something witty. 

The biggest party of the summer and the penultimate episode of our Edge arc! Join us as we watch a pretty better than average show and round third on our trip down 2006's memory lane.  Adam hates thumb tacks, Jesse hates Brock Lesnar, and Newbs concocts a cuck theory. 

And we back. And we back and we back and we back and we back.  No, I'm not going to make the obvious wrestling joke here. SOMEONE already did that and whether or not he's on the next episode remains to be seen.  Here we have Vengeance 2006, a show in which the WWE championship match is right in the middle and the main event features a bunch of male cheerleaders. Not hate on male cheerleaders, though. Every single one of them could rip me in half.  Newbs gushes over wrestler chemistry, Adam appreciates geriatric storytelling, and Jesse makes the obvious "finally..." joke. 

ECDub! ECDub! ECDub! What happens when you mix a rabid and kinda awful fan base, the looming awful relaunch of a brand, and their hero against the corporate machine? You get ECW One Night Stand 2006! The folks in the crowd say "fuck" a lot. But so do we so who the fuck am I to judge?  Newbs rocks out, Jesse laments the Rey Mysterio title run, and Adam wrestles (heh) with the lasting legacy of ECW. 

Then I get bumped from Backlash? I’m not good enough to call Backlash!? In ECW, I called live pay-per-views on my own, solo, no color commentators dragging me down. Wasn’t done before me, hasn’t been done since. But I’m not good enough to call Backlash because I’m not a sports entertainment storyteller. Well you know what? I am sick of sports entertainment. I am sick of male cheerleaders. I am sick of boogers and bathroom humour and semen and I am sick of our chairman. Who likes to talk about his own semen, he mocks God… he mocks God!!!!! And makes out with the divas all to feed his own insatiable ego. I am sick of sports entertainment, and most of all I am sick of you fans who actually buy into that crap! This sports entertainment circus! I never needed this job, and I don’t want this job anymore.” Joey Styles the GOAT

We here at Past A Mania HQ love us a Royal Rumble. They’re fun, filled with surprising entrants and entertaining eliminations and spots. They never disappoint. Well, theoretically of course. In this episode Jesse rationalizes mediocrity, Adam finally realizes why people hate John Cena, and of course Newbs’ boy Shelton Benjamin’s momma.

FINALLY..... PAST A MANIA HAS COME BACK.... TO YOUR PODDDDDCAAAAST FEEEEED! It's nice to be back everybody with the first episode in our new Edge arc! New Year's Revolution 2006 sees the first ever Money in the Bank cash-in, an elimination chamber, three steps forward for women's wrestling, and 47 steps backwards for women's wrestling. Jesse reminisces on his fledgling days as a wrestling fan, Adam laments watching the penultimate match, and Newbs' boy Shelton Benjamin's mamma.