“Oh my God, Romy, Tommy Lee Jones just said the Coast Is Toast.” 

“But, Michele, I thought we were avoiding carbs this week!”

It’s April 25th, 1997 and the boys are dipping their manicured toes into the hot lava of an opening weekend that brought us VOLCANO and ROMY AND MICHELE’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION. “If you’re lost, you can look, and you will find Episode 74 of Opening Weekend!”

The ground begins to shake; a baby cries out in fear; there’s a rumbling that shakes the walls and foundations. That’s no volcano, Anne Heche, it’s just Jason’s downstairs neighbor yelling at him to stop being so loud while recording his stupid podcast! 

It’s April 1997 and while Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow were trying not to look dumb in front of their old high school classmates, Fred was trying not to look dumb in front of his “Caddyshack”-star castmate. 

What was more painful to witness? John Carroll Lynch’s feet dissolving in a lake of lava or Jason painfully trying to end a relationship with a girl 5 times above his pay-grade? 

Romy and Michele had the moves on the dance floor, but that was nothing compared to the moves a British con-artists played on Dan during his trip to the UK. 

Ewww, put on some clothes Ian Holm! It’s Episode 74 of Opening Weekend!