Get ready for some nougat-y goodness with The Three Musketeers, a novel less about swashbuckling and more about extra-marital cross-kingdom hookups, horse-shaming, and that famous Musketeer slogan: “Well, if it pisses off the Cardinal then I guess it’s okay.” Alexandre Dumas outsources his book-writing to make more time for lovin’, Megan laments a severe lack of sword boys, and RJ ruins ASMR forever.

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