News Noir
News Noir
Comedy Noir
Two towering intellects disguised as comedians dissect international news and bring a new and refreshing take on things happening in the world, big and small. For video version of the podcast, subscribe to Comedy Noir YouTube channel. Please follow us on FB, Instagram and Twitter (@newsnoirpod). This is a satirical show, none of the views or opinions expressed in it are representative of the personal views of the people stating them. Everything is said with a thick (big booty) layer of sarcasm.
Talk Roulette #1
We have decided to take a break from weekly news review (all news these days are about COVID and US elections anyway... boring!), so today we just sit near the fake fireplace with a glass of cheap wine and chat about everything and nothing and all sorts of nonsense. In this episode, "nonsense" includes:   - Humanity Becoming Sexier   - Unexpected Positive Effect of Oil Industry   - Biden vs Thatcher Death Fight   - New Russian Order   - Dimitri's Sex Life
Nov 25, 2020
22 min
#23 - Putin's Mic Drop, China's Geo-engineering, Heavy Metal Making You Grow Taller
In this episode, we have hand-picked the following headlines from the past week to chat sh*t about:  // China seizes more territory from Nepal with troops constructing buildings over the border  // Teenagers with poor diets up to 20cm shorter, global study finds  // Russian MPs consider lifetime immunity for former presidents
Nov 9, 2020
33 min
#22 - Kiwi Legalise Euthanasia, Aussie Women Strip-searched, Amazon is New Slavery +more
Yet again, we distilled all world events that happened last week into the hilarious review of the most fascinating headlines:  //  New Zealand votes to legalise euthanasia in referendum  // Australia seeks Qatar response after female passengers strip-searched  // Amazon launches in Sweden with wrong flag and rude translations  // Philippines local police chief killed by fighting cockerel
Nov 3, 2020
38 min
#21 - UK Kids Have Changed, Crayfish Saves Us From Zombies, Charity Means Sacrifice +more
This week - as always - in our trademark (allegedly) hilarious style, we are discussing most urgent and highly important news of the week without being distracted by irrelevant stuff like global pandemic and US election. In this episode:  // Escaped cloned female mutant crayfish take over Belgian cemetery  // UK govt investigates after pupils raise questions about balding asylum-seeker who claims to be 15 but ‘LOOKS ABOUT 40’  // Jews make up the lowest share of Europe's population for 1,000 years as France sees surge in emigration due to anti-Semitism  // Poland abortion ruling: Police use pepper spray against protesters
Oct 27, 2020
36 min
#20 - Finland Bans D**k Pics, UK Needs More Prisoners, Your Nudes Are Available Online
Last week saw some fascinating news that we are glad to dissect for you in Episode 20:  // London Bridge attack: Steven Gallant up for early release after confronting knifeman  // Finland will jail men who send unsolicited 'd**k pics'  // Fake naked photos of thousands of women shared online
Oct 22, 2020
37 min
#19 - Librarians Make Millions, All Celebrities Are Pro-Trump, Child Labour Is The Future
In Episode 19, we cover the following headlines that caught our attention this week:  // A former Austin Library employee is accused of stealing $1.3M in printer toner  // Muslim Imam Arrested in Huge Child Pornography Bust  // 'Kid Influencers' Classed As Child Labour Under New French Law
Oct 14, 2020
41 min
#18 - NASA Presents Space Toilet, Swedes Are Bad At Being Bad, Julian Assange Is James Bond +more
In Episode 18, we discuss the following hilarious events that happened over the last week:  // Nasa Wallops launch: Astronauts to test new $23m toilet at space station  // Swedish Police: New Gang Culture Emerged from Second-Generation Migrants  // Auschwitz director offers to serve time in place of 13-year-old Nigerian sentenced to 10 years for blasphemy  //  Latest twist in Assange saga like a Bond plot 
Oct 6, 2020
47 min
#17 - Australians Abuse Brits, Russian Politics Is Still The Best Sitcom, Prison Term For TripAdvisor Review +more
In this episode, we discuss some outrageously hilarious world news. Headlines are:  // Tory MP Says He Will Not Take Unconscious Bias Training; Trump ‘Exactly Right’ to Ban ‘Indoctrination’  // Investigation launched into Australian backpacker visas  // Australia asks Google to remove images from top of sacred site Uluru  // ‘I have absolutely no clue’ Head of rural settlement in Russia’s Kostroma Region loses election to the dummy candidate he selected  // American faces two years in prison for posting unflattering TripAdvisor review of Thailand island resort
Sep 29, 2020
27 min
#16 - COVID Is Harsh On Criminals, Tesla Is The Best Getaway Car, Avoid Ukrainian Hospitals +more
In Episode 16, we discuss the following news of the week:  // Double-amputee's wife is asked to take her husband's severed legs away from Ukrainian hospital in a sack  // Puppy prices soar during coronavirus lockdown  // Man charged after Canadian police find him asleep at wheel of self-driving car  // Billionaire Chuck Feeney achieves goal of giving away his fortune
Sep 23, 2020
41 min
#15 - How to Date A Feminist, Aussies Are Bad At Flirting, Gender Reveal In Poor Taste +more
In Episode 15, we discuss:  // French Feminist Hates Men But Loves Her Boyfriend  // Astralian Optometrist Destroys Her Career Not Her Pussy  // Gender Reveal Party In United Arab Emirates Is Designed For Just One Gender  // British Couple's World Tour Includes Estonia And No Other Countries 
Sep 15, 2020
44 min
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