In this episode, I read the epilogue from the original draft of Starchild as well as multiple scenes from a second (and wildly different!) draft that I wrote in college to illustrate how complete the revision process can be. And I remind you to be proud of yourself—because it’s true! 

In Part Nine, Ruby finds herself at the center of a high-stakes intergalactic conflict. The most pretentious, angsty-boy villain I’ve ever seen in fiction makes an appearance, sacrifices are made, and Ruby and Fiora are forced to say goodbye.  I talk about how Starchild has never been Ruby’s story, some really irritating plot holes, and, despite it all, how much I love Ruby and Fiora’s friendship.

Part Eight is explosive, to say it lightly (catastrophic to say it less lightly). Somehow, at the exact same moment, a mysterious spaceship crashes onto the Lorencip’s property and Ruby’s dad comes home after his (ambiguously long) absence. Seventeen year old me attempts to manage this emotional fall out to a varying degree of success. I discuss how bizarre Ruby’s parents are as characters, how seventeen year old me keeps skirting away from any scenes with emotional resonance, and the importance of saying less. 

Part Seven desperately wants to be a climax. And a psychological horror film. The story goes from zero to attempted murder real fast when Fiora loses her mind on the bully girls who haven’t been mentioned since Part One. I discuss Starchild’s unbalanced plot, the basics of a climax, and how and why (despite it all) Ruby and Fiora still resonate with me as characters. 

Part Six rivals Part Five for the world’s longest exposition dump—but this time, it’s Ruby doing the dumping (and yes, that is the worst way I could have ever phrased that). Join me as I rapidly lose my mind reading this saccharine mess out loud. I discuss writing without limits and bring depth to your secondary characters. 

In Part Five, Ruby gets an entire galaxy’s worth of trauma dumped on her in perhaps the most long-winded exposition dump I have ever read. Neither she nor I know what to do with all this information. I talk about the shape of story and the role of your subconscious in writing. 

Part Four might as well be titled “Meet the Lorencips!”—your average, dorky Midwestern family. Except, occasionally they talk in a language Ruby has never heard before. And none of them seem to know what “meatloaf” is. Also, they have a semi-sentient AI hologram in the basement. Fiora holographically takes Ruby to her home planet, and it quickly becomes apparent why the Lorencips came to Earth. I discuss the importance of not italicizing different languages in fiction, characters thinking about their emotions rather than feeling them, and Starchild as an immigrant narrative.   Below is a link to the article I referenced for further reading on italicization:  “The Case Against Italicizing ‘Foreign’ Words.” Barokka, Khairani.  https://catapult.co/stories/column-the-case-against-italicizing-foreign-words-khairani-barokka 

In Part Three, seventeen-year-old me reveals that Fiora is truly an alien in literally the most boring way possible. I discuss not rushing your plot and going whole-hog with your worldbuilding. This episode also features a heaping dose of my seventeen-year-old self’s commentary on The Bachelor because that was exactly what this story needed.

In Part Two, there is a disappointing lack of alien content. Ruby has an incredibly expository conversation with her emotionally distant mother. The next day, Ruby and Fiora take part in the most gladiatorial game of dodgeball I have ever read and end up battered and bloody in the nurse’s office because…bonding, I guess? I discuss sideways emotions, Tennessee William’s The Glass Menagerie, the tenuous art of foreshadowing, and my love for Jordan Peele. 

Welcome back to another season of My Writing Sucks! Join me as I read through Starchild, the first middle grade novel I ever wrote when I was seventeen (and took my writing very seriously). In Part One, we meet Ruby Carter, your average eleven-year-old with the vocabulary of an SAT prep book. Everything changes for Ruby when a new girl joins her class and announces in front of everyone that she is not from Earth. Despite judgment from her peers, Ruby befriends Fiora and quickly discovers that her claim might not be so far-fetched after all…