Monarch for Love
Monarch for Love
Michelle Hays
Monarch for Love is where heart meets humor, healing, and a whole lot of honesty. I’m Michelle Hays, a Heart-Centered Marriage Coach, Columnist, Author, Speaker, and lover of big feelings and even bigger breakthroughs. Around here, we talk about what really happens after “I do."Think of this podcast as your weekly dose of soul food for relationships: part pep talk, part permission slip, and part practical guide to building love that lasts. Whether you’re navigating unmet expectations, emotional distance, or just trying to keep the romance alive between laundry loads and life’s chaos—I got you.Because love isn’t something you find or lose. It’s something you choose. And when you choose love on purpose, something beautiful happens: you feel seen, safe, and truly connected. Come be part of a heart-forward community of listeners who are learning, laughing, and loving on purpose because your marriage deserves more than just survival—it deserves to thrive!
Ep. 232 - The 30 Seconds That Can Damage Your Marriage
In this week's episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays introduces her signature 3D Emotional Reset™, a simple, powerful tool to help you break destructive communication patterns, manage emotional reactions, and respond to your husband without abandoning your own needs.Discover how to identify what's really underneath your anger, create space between your feelings and your reactions, and communicate in ways that build connection instead of resentment. Because you can't always control what you feel, but you can learn to choose what you do with those feelings.Your emotions deserve to be heard. They don't always deserve the steering wheel. Learn the three steps that can change the direction of your next argument—and potentially your marriage. Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us. Ready to break the patterns keeping you disconnected? Explore private marriage coaching with Michelle at monarchforlove.com Website: www.monarchforlove.com  Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Oct 13
10 min
Ep. 231 - The Marriage Mistake That Creates Emotional Distance
In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays introduces The Perception Gap™: the space between what actually happened and the meaning we attach to it. Discover how assumptions can turn everyday misunderstandings into resentment, why years together don't equal mind reading, and how replacing certainty with curiosity can transform the way you communicate with your husband.Michelle shares three powerful questions to help you interrupt negative thought patterns, challenge your assumptions, and create more understanding and connection in your marriage. Because sometimes, the biggest obstacle to connection isn't what your husband did. It's the story you've told yourself about why he did it. Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us.Ready to reconnect with your husband? Explore private marriage coaching with Michelle at monarchforlove.com. Website: www.monarchforlove.com  Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Oct 6
11 min
Ep, 230 - Feeling Unloved In Your Marriage? This May Be Why!
In this episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays explores the painful disconnect that happens when love is present but goes unrecognized. Discover how assumptions, unmet expectations, and the stories we tell ourselves can create emotional distance—even in marriages where two people genuinely love each other. You’ll learn how to recognize the love that may have become invisible, get curious about what you’re really feeling, and communicate your needs without turning disappointment into disconnection.Because feeling unloved and being unloved are not the same thing. Before you decide the love is gone, what if you learned to see it differently?Love Literacy™: The relationship skills the world forgot to teach us. Learn more about Michelle and her private marriage coaching at monarchforlove.com. Website: www.monarchforlove.com  Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Sep 29
9 min
Ep. 229 - The Truth About Compatibility in Marriage
In this week's episode, Michelle challenges the belief that strong relationships are built on sameness. You’ll learn why differences in communication, emotions, and personality do not automatically mean you chose the wrong person—and why understanding matters more than thinking alike. Compatibility may make love feel easier at first. But curiosity, emotional regulation, repair, and respect are what help love last when life gets hard.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Sep 22
10 min
Ep. 228 - Stop Chasing Your Husband
In this week's episode of the Monarch for Love Podcast, Michelle explains the difference between reaching for connection and creating pressure. You’ll learn how anxiety can turn a healthy need into a demand, why the pursue-withdraw cycle keeps couples stuck, and how to express what you need without pushing your partner further away.The answer isn’t to stop caring. It’s to reach for connection in a way that invites your husband closer.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Sep 15
10 min
Ep. 227 - Why Love Isn’t Enough to Save a Marriage
Can two people deeply love each other and still struggle to stay connected? Absolutely. In this week's episode, Michelle challenges one of the most common beliefs about relationships: that love should be enough.Love may bring two people together, but love alone does not teach us how to regulate our emotions, communicate when we are hurt, repair after conflict, challenge our assumptions, or create emotional safety. Michelle shares what she learned from the end of her first marriage, the struggles in her marriage to Brian, and the realization that changed the way she understands relationships: sometimes the problem is not a lack of love. It is a lack of the skills that love requires. You’ll discover why good intentions do not always create connection, how missing relationship skills can make loving couples hurt each other, and why you should never confuse a skill gap with a love gap. Because people may marry for love—but many divorce for lack of skill. And the hopeful truth is that skills can be learned.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Sep 8
11 min
Ep. 226 - Silent Treatment vs. Stonewalling: What’s Really Happening?
Is your spouse using silence to punish you—or are they emotionally overwhelmed and shutting down? In this episode of the Monarch for Love Podcast, Michelle explains the important difference between the silent treatment and stonewalling—and why confusing the two can create even more hurt and distance in a relationship.You’ll learn how silence can become a weapon, why some partners withdraw when their nervous system becomes overwhelmed, and how the stories we tell ourselves during those quiet moments can make conflict feel even more threatening. Michelle also shares a healthier alternative to staying and fighting or walking away indefinitely: leave and return. You’ll discover how to ask for space without abandoning your partner, establish a clear time to reconnect, and protect the relationship while emotions settle.Because space is not the problem. Avoidance is. The strongest couples are not the ones who never need time apart. They are the ones who know how to find their way back to each other.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Sep 1
12 min
Ep. 225 - Why You Feel Unloved in Your Marriage
Why can you be deeply loved by your spouse and still feel completely unloved? In this episode of the Monarch for Love Podcast, Michelle explores how quickly assumptions can shape the way we see our spouse. A missed text, a distracted response, or a lack of affection can easily become, “They don’t care,” “I’m not important,” or “Nothing will ever change.” But assumptions are not facts. You’ll learn how negative stories create defensiveness, distance, and confirmation bias—and how one simple shift can open the door to greater curiosity, compassion, and connection.Michelle also shares a powerful seven-day challenge: whenever you feel hurt or disconnected, ask yourself, “If I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my spouse loved me, how would I interpret this moment differently?” Because just because you don’t feel loved does not mean you are not loved. Sometimes your marriage doesn’t need more love. It needs a different lens.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforloveWhy can you be deeply loved by your spouse and still feel completely unloved? In this episode of the Monarch for Love Podcast, Michelle explores how quickly assumptions can shape the way we see our spouse. A missed text, a distracted response, or a lack of affection can easily become, “They don’t care,” “I’m not important,” or “Nothing will ever change.” But assumptions are not facts. You’ll learn how negative stories create defensiveness, distance, and confirmation bias—and how one simple shift can open the door to greater curiosity, compassion, and connection.Michelle also shares a powerful seven-day challenge: whenever you feel hurt or disconnected, ask yourself, “If I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my spouse loved me, how would I interpret this moment differently?” Because just because you don’t feel loved does not mean you are not loved. Sometimes your marriage doesn’t need more love. It needs a different lens.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Aug 25
9 min
Ep. 224 - The Grief No One Talks About in Relationships
Grief isn’t only about death. It can show up when we get married, become parents, move, face infertility, become empty nesters, care for someone we love, or realize life didn’t unfold the way we expected. In this episode of the Monarch for Love Podcast, Michelle talks with compassionate transition coach and bestselling author Laylani Colibri-Jack about the conflicting feelings that come with change—and how those unrecognized emotions can quietly affect our closest relationships. You’ll learn why validation can prevent so many misunderstandings, what to say when someone you love is grieving, and how to offer meaningful support without trying to fix everything or carrying their pain yourself. Laylani also shares powerful tools for protecting your emotional energy, including why it helps to be a “bucket, not a sponge,” and how seeing people as the heroes of their own stories allows us to love them without losing ourselves.This conversation will change the way you understand grief, compassion, and the emotional transitions we all experience.🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Aug 18
36 min
Ep. 223 - Have You Quietly Given Up on Your Marriage?
Most marriages don't end with a dramatic fight or a single heartbreaking moment. They begin to fade when one or both partners quietly stop trying. The conversations become fewer. The hope starts to dim. The effort slowly turns into resignation. In this week's episode of Monarch for Love, Michelle Hays explores the subtle moment when emotional withdrawal begins, why it happens, and what couples can do before distance becomes disconnection. If you've ever thought, "Nothing I do makes a difference anyway," this conversation is for you. Love rarely disappears overnight. More often, it fades when we stop engaging, stop hoping, and stop believing change is possible.What if the biggest threat to your marriage isn't conflict but the moment you quietly decide it's no longer worth trying?🔗 Website: www.monarchforlove.com 📘 Book: www.awakenedheartsbook.com Instagram: @Monarchforlove TikTok @monarchforlove See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Aug 11
8 min
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