This week we’re talking about narcissistic abuse in the workplace.In this episode, Sarene Leeds takes us back to her tenure at Rolling Stone and experiences with:* ❤️‍🩹 narcissistic abuse, where a person — usually someone with narcissistic traits — manipulates, controls, and harms others* 🕹️ coercive control, a pattern of behavior used to dominate and manipulate someone* 😶‍🌫️ gaslighting, when someone makes you doubt your own memory, perception, or sanityThe TabooNarcissistic abuse can be subtle and hard to recognize, and it doesn’t leave. physical, visible scars, so, often, survivors feel confused, anxious, or like they have to “walk on eggshells."There wasn’t much of a public discussion about emotional abuse or coercive control in the workplace when Sarene was at Rolling Stone, especially because it was before the rise of the #MeToo movement in 2017, which exposed workplace sexual assault and harassment. #MeToo led to more awareness of toxic work environments and made it easier for survivors to see each other.Narcissistic abuse at work is still very much an issue shaded with doubt, skepticism, and bureaucracy.Links + Resources* 🎧 “Emotional Abuse Is Real” podcast* 📰 Exclusive: Women staffers of Jann Wenner’s Rolling Stone get their turn to speak* 🎧 Breaking Down the Nuances of Narcissistic Abuse with Sarah Jacobs, Esq., and Jamie Berger, Esq. (from Emotional Abuse Is Real)The GuestSarene Leeds is a professional writer and podcaster with a master’s degree in professional writing from NYU. Back in 2014, she resigned from her dream job at Rolling Stone because she was being emotionally abused daily by her narcissistic boss. Nearly a decade later, she launched “Emotional Abuse Is Real,” a podcast dedicated to sharing the stories of her fellow emotional and narcissistic abuse survivors.Sarene is now a contributing writer to women’s health and fertility website Rescripted.* 📍 Location: New Jersey, USA* 📱 @sareneleedswrites on Instagram* 🆓 Discover Your Brand Voice* ✍🏻 The Critical CommunicatorTime Stamps* 03:47: Defining narcissistic abuse* 06:25: Gaslighting & coercive control in the workplace* 14:05: Why narcissistic abuse is hard to prove* 21:37: Aside: What are fireable offenses?* 31:59: Why telling your story is powerful* 46:50: Advice for survivorsKey Takeaways* Narcissistic abuse thrives in the “gray area” of plausible deniability, which makes it hard to recognize and prove.* Coercive control and gaslighting are ways narcissistic abusers erode someone’s confidence and reality (in the workplace or in other relationships).* Being believed is often THE biggest hurdle for survivors, followed by the lack of institutional support.* Journaling and storytelling can be healing ways to process your experiences with narcissistic abuse and put it in a narrative.P.S. Are we connected on Instagram, yet? Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

Trauma therapist Grace Bithell explains:* 🧠 complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD), an oft-overlooked mental health condition that affects your self-image and relationships* 🖤 reparenting yourself to heal from CPTSD (and “break the cycle”)The sneaky thing about CPTSD is that the people who have it are often the last to believe it. Most people haven’t even heard of it.I, too, brushed off my first PTSD diagnosis, thinking it was ludicrous: Veterans get PTSD, for f**k’s sake! I haven’t been in combat. 🙄* PTSD typically develops after a single traumatic event or a series of traumatic events that are clearly identifiable.* CPTSD (Complex PTSD) is caused by chronic, repeated trauma — often in childhood or long-term abuse.Complex post-traumatic stress disorder is what Grace calls “the survivor’s illness.” I’ve also heard it called “the shame disorder.” It’s a set of learned survival mechanisms that helped you cope as a child but, in your adult life, can lead to:* anxiety* hyper-vigilance* difficulty regulating emotions* deep shame and poor self image* trust issuesLinks + Resources* Grace and I both learned about CPTSD in this book by Stephanie Foo: Why My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma* THE CPTSD book: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by psychotherapist Pete Walker* Grace’s blog about trauma, OCD, and CPTSDThe GuestGrace Bithell is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in helping people who had “difficult parents.” She grew up in a fostering family which was her first exposure to complex childhood trauma and inspired her to become a trauma therapist (and she’s been published seven times in Fostering Families Today!)* 📍 Location: Utah, USA* 📱 @theguiltgirl on ThreadsGet in touch with Grace here.Key Takeaways1️⃣ CPTSD affects your emotions, relationships, and view of yourself. It is caused by long-term trauma in which a person feels unsafe, unseen, or trapped.2️⃣ Shame feels like a personal flaw, but it’s a survival response. CPTSD usually comes with deep wells of shame because you learned to blame yourself rather than recognize your needs were not being met.3️⃣ Reparenting yourself is a way to start healing from CPTSD. That means: validating your own emotions; setting boundaries; and responding kindly to yourself.Time Stamps* 4:57: What is CPTSD?* 10:24: The difference between CPTSD and PTSD* 17:47: Emotional flashbacks* 30:19: Parenting with CPTSD* 46:51: CPTSD red flagsThat’s all for this episode. If this hit home, please leave a comment and let me know (I read every single one!) or share with someone who may need to hear it.Upcoming* S1E11 Narcissistic Abuse x Telling Your Story with Sarene Leeds* S1E12 Pelvic Floor Dysfunction x Incontinence with Patricia Siegel* S1E13 Female Friendships x Escaping Toxic Relationships with Stephanie McPhail Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

This episode confronts the deeply-ingrained taboo that women’s sexual desire should be effortless, constant, and primarily for the benefit of others.We'll talk about the sex you might have:* out of obligation* to “check it off your to-do list”* to “talk yourself into”The Taboo* We’re told that a “good” woman is sexually available—but not “too much.”* We’re taught that if we don’t want sex, something must be wrong with us.* We’re conditioned to see our sexuality as a duty, not a source of personal pleasure.The GuestLucy Rowett is a certified sexologist and sex coach who helps women and people with vulvas let go of sexual shame.📍 Location: Vienna, Austria🆓 Workbook: How To Rock Your Bedroom and Ask For What You REALLY (really, really), Want In Bed🎧 Podcast: The Naked and Unashamed LifeTime Stamps* 4:35: Purity culture and sexual conditioning* 8:06: People-pleasing and burnout* 13:18: The science of stress x sex* 16:23: Why some women struggle with desire* 20:37: The fawn responseResources + Links🔗 Sex When You Don’t Feel Like It by Cindy Darnell🔗 Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski🔗 Esther Perel, psychotherapist🔗 Women Who Work Too Much by Tamu Thomas🔗 Masters of Sex (2013-2016) Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

⚠️ Content warning: This episode on postpartum care and maternal mental health includes mentions of postpartum psychosis and infanticideIn Part 2 of my conversation with birth researcher and postpartum doula Kelsey Marr, we talk PMDs — perinatal mood disorders — like postpartum depression, anxiety, and psychosis. Kelsey gives practical strategies for preventing PMD and the importance of planning, setting boundaries, and creating community so we can thrive, not just *survive*, early motherhood.🎧 Hear Part 1: S1E7 Postpartum Care x Maternal Mental HealthTime stamps* 02:42: Kelsey’s recommendations for planning for postpartum* 07:22: Using your postpartum plan as a “scapegoat”* 08:23: My personal experience of postpartum anxiety* 10:04: Defining perinatal mood disorders (PMDs)* 12:33: “Baby blues” versus postpartum depression (PPD)* 15:39: Postpartum anxiety (PPA) and intrusive thoughts* 19:59: Our culture of postpartum care and partner involvement* 23:01: Practical tips for preventing PMDs* 27:57: How to support postpartum parents5 key takeaways from this episode:Postpartum planning is essentialStart planning for postpartum early in pregnancy, like by writing down a list of boundaries and expectations and roles. This can help prevent misunderstandings and resentment.✅ Make a “no” list during pregnancy to eliminate unnecessary stressors and set boundaries / limits.Set boundaries and ask for helpMany new parents struggle with setting boundaries during a huge life transition (especially if they have people-pleasing tendencies!). Having a written plan to communicate needs to family and friends can help us avoid conflict and be the “scapegoat” for setting boundaries.✅ Connect with professionals like doulas, lactation consultants, or mental health professionals before birth.Perinatal mood disorders (PMDs) are common but complexPMDs like postpartum depression and anxiety occur for lots of new parents, particularly if they were prone to anxiety and depression before pregnancy and childbirth. They might manifest as extreme irritability, paranoia, or negative feelings toward the baby.PMDs don’t necessarily resolve in the first few weeks after childbirth and often require professional support, like from a mental health professional.The role of culture and community in postpartum careOur society — the US and Canada in particular — puts an overwhelming burden on new moms, often without adequate support systems. We need core community, as well as involvement from partners to mitigate the risk of PMDs (more so even than paid leave).Showing up for new parentsFriends and loved ones can offer tangible help for postpartum parents like cooking meals, babysitting older kids, and doing chores (while respecting boundaries!).✅ Sustained help beyond the initial weeks of postpartum is crucial; continue to check in on postpartum moms after the first three weeks - three months.The guest expertDr. Kelsey Marr (PhD) quit her job as a birth researcher in 2023 to become a full-time doula. She helps expecting and new parents navigate pregnancy, birth, and postpartum by helping them find evidence-based information, and build their research skills and confidence to make their own best birth/postpartum choices.* 📍 Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada* 🆓 eBook: “Is This Normal?” Evidence-Based Guide to Your First Trimester of Pregnancy* 👩🏼‍💻 Blog: Expecting Evidence* 📱 Social: @collectivecarehfxQ+AHow can we create a plan to support people postpartum to help avoid perinatal mood disorders like postpartum anxiety and depression?KM: One of the things I love to do with my clients is to start their postpartum planning really early in pregnancy. I’m doing this myself, even though I’m only 10 weeks along. For someone with a history of anxiety or depression, we know that they’re more likely to experience a perinatal mood disorder. That’s why it’s so important to find a therapist who can support you during pregnancy and postpartum, or to talk to your current therapist about what’s coming up for you.What do boundaries have to do with planning for postpartum?KM: A big trigger for many people is boundaries—many of us don’t know what our boundaries are until they’re crossed.I encourage my clients to think about things like, “Do I want visitors? What kind of help do I want with my baby?” I even have them write it down, journal about it, and share that plan with their support people—partners, family, and friends—before the baby is born. That way, those expectations are clear, and you’re not having those conversations when you’re in the fog of postpartum.What is a perinatal mood disorder (PMD)?KM: A a perinatal mood disorder is any sort of mood or anxiety disorder that happens during pregnancy or clinically it's defined as the first year postpartum, but we know that these things can last a lot longer.Just that first year can feel like things like feeling intense anger or irritability, having trouble falling asleep, trouble concentrating, trouble making decisions, withdrawing, having negative feelings about the baby, lacking energy.It's really the same sorts of symptoms that we see with depression or anxiety or psychosis, but they're specifically relating to this transition in pregnancy and postpartum.Checklist: How to prepare for postpartum (and mitigate risk of perinatal mood disorders)Kelsey recommends the following:* Make sure you’re on the same page with your partner about what life will look like after baby arrives* Build healthy habits while pregnant (sleep, movement, diet)* Lowering lifestyle stress* Make a “no” list of things you do not want to do when you’re a new mom* Find your professionals before you need them badly: Physical therapist, mental health professional, postpartum doula, etc.Thank you for checking out this episode. Leave me a comment and tell me what you think!Upcoming episodes include:* S1E9 People Pleasing x Libido with Lucy Rowett* S1E10 CPTSD x Shame x Reparenting with Grace BithellStay tuned!Micah Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

This week we’re saying the quiet parts OUT LOUD about why the postpartum chapter of our lives often feels overwhelming and isolating (how did we get here??) and how systemic factors — like lack of support or maternity leave — exacerbate postpartum anxiety and depression.Time stamps* [05:55] Becoming a postpartum doula* [07:12] What is IVF?* [11:26] Comparing postpartum care: Scandinavia vs. North America* [15:46] Prenatal genetic testing* [12:59] What evidence-based postpartum care really means* [18:48] What does a postpartum doula do?* [23:18] Is postpartum care a luxury?* [26:12] The cult of good motherhood* [28:42] Systemic gaps in postpartum care* [32:06] What new moms really needTop 3 takeaways→ The mainstream culture of early motherhood in the US and Canada fails new moms.Unlike places like Sweden, where moms get paid time off, free nurse visits, and affordable childcare, many moms here feel alone and overwhelmed after giving birth (which can contribute to perinatal mood disorders).→ The “cult” of good motherhood can make postpartum mental health struggles worse.Society puts a lot of pressure on moms to do everything perfectly (especially since the advent of social media). This stress can lead to or exacerbate postpartum anxiety and depression.→ Having a support system to ready to go before birth can really help.Whether it’s hiring a postpartum doula, getting help from family and friends, or talking to your healthcare professionals, having a plan for support can make postpartum life - and information overload — easier (we break down Kelsey’s list of action items in Part 2!)Do you wish you had a postpartum doula? Got FOMO? Tell me:The guest expertDr. Kelsey Marr (PhD) quit her job as a birth researcher in 2023 to become a full-time doula. She helps expecting and new parents navigate pregnancy, birth, and postpartum by helping them find evidence-based information, and build their research skills and confidence to make their own best birth/postpartum choices.* 📍 Location: Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada* 🆓 eBook: “Is This Normal?” Evidence-Based Guide to Your First Trimester of Pregnancy* 👩🏼‍💻 Blog: Expecting Evidence* 📱 Social: @collectivecarehfxResources and links 🔗Mentioned in this episode:* Touched Out: Motherhood, Misogyny, Consent, and Control by Amanda Montei* The Danish Way of Parenting by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Iben Sandahl* Some of my fav Scandinavian baby brands: Liewood; Småfolk; Bibs; StokkeQ&A from the EpisodeWhat does a postpartum doula do?KM: A postpartum doula is a trained expert in postpartum care. So they are a non-clinical professional. I don't work in a hospital as a postpartum doula. I'm not a nurse or a doctor. I can't diagnose anything.What I do is offer care to birthing people and new families from an educational level through a practical support level, emotional level, and a community level.Are postpartum doulas a luxury?KM: For a lot of people, it is a luxury because I am somebody who you end up paying for my time and my expertise. I know in Canada and the United States, there are insurance companies that will cover postpartum doula services. So that's an option for some people.But the reality is that even though there are doulas who do this work on a volunteer basis, not everybody has access to it.What do you wish all new moms had after childbirth?KM: I wish every new parent had community—really like very hands-on, practical, open-hearted community. And that doesn't mean I wish everybody had close familial connections or close friends.Community can look like a lot of different things. Whether that's finding your support team of professionals before you go into postpartum... a therapist, a doula, a pelvic physio —all of these professionals can take things off your plate in those early months.🤫 ML: Stay tuned for an upcoming episode on pelvic floor dysfunction and incontinence!TL;DRNew moms in the U.S. and Canada often struggle with little support after having a baby, which can lead to feelings of isolation and mental health challenges like postpartum anxiety and depression. This episode explores how gaps in postpartum care, unrealistic societal expectations, and the pressure to be a "perfect mom" make it even harder for moms to get the help they need.I hope you like this episode, friend.Kelsey will be back next week with Part 2 of our convo on postpartum mental health and practical advice for showing up for the new parents in our lives.Up next:* People-Pleasing x Libido with Lucy Rowett* Shame x CPTSD with Grace Bithell* Narcissistic Abuse x Telling Your Story with Sarene LeedsTalk soon —Micah Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

One of the defining moments in my health was the birth of my son in 2019. Like many moms who experienced traumatic childbirth, I grieved (and still grieve) the loss of the birth and pregnancy I so desired. Instead, I felt:* guilt, grief, and anger that my body “let me down”* invalidated by comments like, “at least your baby is okay”* pressure to “bounce back” after birth despite the trauma I experienced.Can you relate?In this episode I ask OBGyn Dr. Caledonia “Cali” Buckheit:* what constitutes birth trauma?* how to show up for loved ones who experience traumatic childbirth* how to think about “birth plans,” and when they go awry* what permission we might need to heal from birth traumaThis episode will resonate if you:* Have experienced childbirth that didn’t go as planned and had to navigate the emotional aftermath.* Want to support a friend or loved one who has gone through a traumatic birth experience.* Are an expectant parent seeking advice on how to approach birth plans.* Struggle with feelings of guilt, disappointment, or grief related to your birth experience.⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains descriptions of medical injury and illness.I did my first load of newborn laundry with joy and anticipation in January 2019.I was 29 weeks pregnant with my son, who did tumbling summersaults like the clothes in the dryer while I folded his tiny garments on my round belly.Like a lot of (first time) moms, I had a plan for how my son would come into the world. It involved mindful birthing, lavender essential oil, and a meticulously-curated playlist.He’d wear the softest grey onesie to come home from the hospital, which I folded and packed in the hospital “go bag” I’d grab on the way out the door in late March when I went into labor and my contractions were five minutes apart.You know what they say about the best-laid plans of mice and men (and moms), right?They go awry.I finished folding the laundry, put on the winter parka that no longer zipped over my pregnant self, and went out to shovel the driveway, where I slipped on ice and fell hard on the handle of the snow shovel.In triage at the hospital I was told my baby was okay, but, dear God, my blood pressure was high.Before I knew it I was hospitalized with preeclampsia for a month, then induced to have my son before my organs started failing. He was born six weeks early and spent his first weeks in the neonatal intensive care unit, or NICU.After a month confined to the labor-and-delivery unit, I clung to the remnants of my birth plan — the mindfulness, the lavender, and the playlist, and the no epidural — until my body started to fail, labor stalled, and we lost my son’s heartbeat.Duke- and Dartmouth-trained obstetrician-gynecologist Caledonia “Cali” Buckheit, MD doesn’t put a lot of stock in birth plans anymore. And not just because she’s seen her fair share of patients who, like me, crumbled under the disappointment and loss of control, but because her own birth plans failed, twice. And she barely survived the second.“I was gonna deliver, like, two weeks before I graduated from residency and then go off into the sunset on my maternity leave, and have some time off before starting my attending job.”“That's where listeria came in. I ended up delivering three months early.”Listen to the episode to hear Cali’s story.Now, Cali is in private practice where her special interests include minimally invasive surgery, menopause, and contraception. She regularly counsels patients and their partners through the biggest transitions and traumas of their lives.Modern Hysteria is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Q+A with Cali Buckheit, MDWhat is birth trauma, and what are common types you see in your practice?CB: “One piece of my birth trauma came from losing the outcome I expected for my pregnancy… It really felt like I had to grieve the loss of all of what I thought I was going to have in my pregnancy, in my birth, in my postpartum experience.”→ Trauma often arises when unexpected complications—like preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, or emergencies—cause fear and overwhelm.How can we think realistically about “birth plans?”CB: “More important than the specifics are: Who’s in your corner? Who are my providers? Who are the people I trust? What do I want? I want to feel safe. I want to feel like I understand what’s going on.”→ Focus on trust and safety rather than fixating on specifics like epidurals or delivery type.How do you recommend showing up for someone who has experienced birth trauma?CB: “You’re not going to make it okay… Instead, focus on being supportive, being kind, and providing meaningful support. Like my colleagues and friends showing up and taking care of my other child so my husband and I could go to the NICU together—huge.”“Ask more interesting questions instead of just saying, ‘Congratulations.’ Instead, ask, ‘What was good and what was bad about your delivery?’ Because it’s not usually one emotion. There are these beautiful moments, but also terrifying ones.”→ Practical actions, not empty reassurances, make the difference.What permissions do women need to start healing from birth trauma?CB: “A lot of self-love. Like, what I am and where I am is enough, even if none of this feels okay or feels good… I think as women, we feel like we should be able to do it all. But that’s not true. That’s something we’ve told ourselves, and it’s not true.”What role does social media or community play in healing from birth trauma?CB: “There’s a group called Preemiehood that talks about things you would only understand if you’d been in the NICU. It makes you feel not alone. It makes you feel seen.”What misconceptions about birth trauma should we challenge?“We have this desire to make everything okay. But it’s not okay. None of it is okay, but it’s happening. We’re going through it one step at a time. Let go of the idea that labor, delivery, and childbirth are supposed to be these beautiful, happy times.”Key moments in this episode* 8:18: The unexpected nature of traumatic childbirth* 10:48: Letting go of your birth plan* 26:43: The world of the NICU mom* 45:42: How to show up for someone who had a traumatic childbirth* 46:09: Why traumatic childbirth is so emotionally complex* 50:01: Why your friends and community are so healingConnect with Cali📲 Follow her on Instagram, Threads, and TikTok🏥 Are you in the Raleigh, NC area? Make an appointment with Dr. Cali Buckheit here.Thanks for reading and listening, friend.In the next episode of Modern Hysteria we’ll do a deep-dive on PMADs, or perinatal mood disorders like:* postpartum anxiety* postpartum depressionI’ll interview birth researcher and doula Kelsey Marr about why we develop postpartum mood disorders and how we can plan practically to heal and avoid them. Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

Hi, friend. This is Micah Larsen, host of the Modern Hysteria podcast and newsletter exposing the taboo topics of women’s health so you feel seen, heard, and can live without shame.I spent one morning this week in the doctor’s office, watching a dizzying number of vials of my blood drawn for a battery of tests. For the past few months I’ve been overtaken by joint pain, fatigue, and depression. Could it be explained by surgical menopause? Neuroinflammation? Rheumatoid arthritis? So far, the results have yielded nothing except a failing attempt at hormone replacement therapy. One reason this episode is close to my heart — and maybe yours, too — is because I’ve often felt isolated in my journey to find the source of my pain and illness. It was life-changing to realize core psychological wounds may explain mysterious pain and discomfort you may think are “all in your head.” This episode explores how unresolved trauma — particularly attachment wounds from childhood — impacts women’s mental, emotional, and physical health. Megan Sherer, a holistic therapist and relationship coach in Seattle, WA, unpacks the connection between isolation, chronic illness, and the body’s stress response.This episode will resonate if you: * Feel like your experiences don’t “qualify” as “trauma” (but still leave you feeling uneasy or hurt)* Struggle with chronic pain or unexplained physical symptoms* Have an autoimmune condition* Have ever felt dismissed or “crazy” when explaining your health concerns* Struggle to feel like you “deserve” to be lovedDoes this sound familiar? As Megan mentions in this episode, around 80% of people diagnosed with autoimmune conditions are women.Modern Hysteria is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Unsubscribe at any time.→ follow Megan on Instagram hereAttachment TheoryAttachment theory, introduced by John Bowlby explains how early relationships with caregivers shape our ability to form and maintain emotional bonds. Our early attachments—secure or insecure—affects how we connect with others, regulate emotions, and navigate relationships as adults. Note: Your attachment style can change over time.If you have a secure attachment:* you’re probably comfortable with intimacy and independence, trusting in relationships, and can communicate effectively.* your caregivers were consistently responsive, supportive, and nurturing.If you have an anxious (preoccupied) attachment:* you may have a fear of abandonment, need constant reassurance, get preoccupied with relationships, and are sensitivity to rejection.* your caregivers were inconsistent—sometimes responsive, sometimes unavailable—leading to uncertain warmth, love, and support.If you have an avoidant (dismissive) attachment:* you may avoid closeness, value independence over intimacy, struggle to trust others, and downplay emotional needs.* your caregivers were emotionally distant, neglectful, or dismissive of your needs.If you have a disorganized (fearful avoidant) attachment:* you have a mix of anxious and avoidant behaviors; you want closeness but you fear intimacy, and this often resulting in chaotic or conflicted relationships.* your caregivers were a source of both comfort and fear, often due to abuse, neglect, or trauma.Another note: There are multiple criticisms of attachment theory, including that it overemphasizes early childhood development and underemphasizes the role of genetics.Major moments from this episode: Q+A with a holistic therapistWhat is trauma?MS: I think when people hear that word, it can be, sometimes, a little bit polarizing. People’s minds often go to the idea of what we call “big-T trauma;” those overtly, extreme, traumatic experiences that everyone would consider to be devastating or challenging, like accidents and death and war, and these extreme examples of trauma that can impact us as individuals as well as the collective.And if you haven’t had those experiences, then there can be this tendency to say, like, “I haven’t experienced trauma. Like, my life hasn’t been that bad; who am I to complain?” Kind of thing.But the reality is that a lot of the work that I do, and that is really impactful and interesting, especially when we get into conversations about attachment work, are what we might call “little-T traumas.” So: More subtle experiences that impact us greatly, but that we might not have felt we’ve had the permission in the past to explore, because, again, maybe, we think: “It’s not that bad,” or that other people have had it worse.What causes us to feel traumatized?MS: The most important thing to identify in the realm of trauma is that it’s not actually the experience itself that’s the trauma; it’s the aftermath.It’s essentially how our psyche perceives that experience. And one really central component of something being traumatic is the component of isolation. So, if we feel like we’re alone in the experience, we don’t have any sort of support or social system to lean on when we’re navigating that challenge, it can then present as trauma to our psyche, as something that we feel overwhelmed by, that we don’t have the capacity to manage.That’s a really important distinction, especially when we’re talking about childhood traumas and childhood wounds, because, when you’re a kid who’s not getting your needs met fully, that is an inherently isolating experience. You don’t have anyone to go to talk to. You’re not talking to your other seven-year-old friends, going, like, “Are your parents like this?” And: “Do you feel this way?” We don’t have the tools or capacity at that point. So we feel like it’s just us. And isolation can really overwhelm the nervous system.What is “attachment?”MS: It’s how we learn to form bonds and connections with other human beings. And the first people we learn that from is our parents. The first person we learn that from is our mother. Our nervous system is really imprinted by her nervous system, and informed by the state of her nervous system when we’re still developing in the womb.How do we form an attachment?MS: In those early years of our lives, we learn a lot about our place in the world, and what love is or isn’t available to us, and what we have to do in order to maybe perform or earn that love, or feel worthy of it. And that’s what I’m talking about when we talk about “attachment trauma.” It’s those wounds, those misunderstandings that have caused us to feel separate from the love and connection that is inherently our birthright.What does attachment have to do with chronic illness?MS: We’re seeing more and more these days, women who are experiencing chronic symptoms, chronic pain, chronic illness, that are often, sort of … mystery symptoms, like they don't have clear diagnoses, or definitions in the realm of Western, allopathic medicine. And women are often left feeling, like, “I’m crazy.” And I love the name of your podcast, because this is going back many, many years – women have often been called “hysterical” for simply pointing out, calling out, what isn’t okay in their relationships, in our culture, in our society. And women’s nervous systems are attuned to those imbalances. When there’s ruptures in relationships, we feel that deeply, and it impacts our entire system, our immunity, our physical, mental, emotional health. And, you know, that’s why we’re seeing 80% of people who live with autoimmune conditions are women.How do attachment wounds manifest in the body?MS: You can imagine that, if you were a little kid who felt fear; maybe one of your parents is upset, and they’re getting angry, and we’re scared that they’re angry, and scared about what that might mean for us, when our bodies feel that fear and go into that stress response, you kind of contract, right? Like, your muscles get tense and tight, and your body’s in kind of this holding pattern: Bracing to either fight, flee or freeze. When those cycles of stress response are not completed, like, when we don’t actually get to resolve it and realize, like, okay, the threat is no longer a threat, or, “I’m safe, all is well,” and get the support and co-regulation from another nervous system that we need, when that doesn’t happen, we have this really intricate system of tissue in our body called fascia. It lies beneath the surface of your skin. It’s, like, this connective tissue, and you can almost think of it like cotton candy, like that really thin sort of fibrous type of tissue, that connects all of our muscles and nerves, and joints, and bones, and internal organs. And, when we have those patterns of contraction, over and over again, that fascia starts to tighten and we’re not getting as healthy of blood flow. If there’s an area of tightness, of stagnation, the blood isn’t flowing there efficiently, and when that happens, inflammation is created. If fresh blood flow and fresh oxygen aren’t getting to all of our cells to deliver the nutrients they need, our body’s just not working as efficiently as it could be.[Inflammation] leads to symptoms, which can be in the form of pain, can be in the form of illness, or disease.How does trauma relate to chronic illness?MS: I love this analogy: Imagine that we all have this inherent capacity to process these stressors. Imagine, if you will, a container, like a cup or bucket. And we all start with an empty cup, and things like emotional stressors, physical and environmental stressors, things our body just, like, has to work to process; those things start to take up space in our cup. Trauma takes up more space in that container. It takes a lot of energy for the body to hold unresolved trauma because we’re essentially staying in that state of fight-or-flight. We’re staying in that chronic, sympathetic activation of the nervous system when we’re not meant to be there 100% of the time. [--] It gets to the point where it’s at capacity, every new thing that's added starts to overflow.The overflow is the chronic symptoms that we experience.→ See Megan Sherer’s Substack: With Love by Megan Sherer → Megan loved First Aid Beauty’s Oat and Hemp salve (discontinued!) Time Stamps* 1:57: What causes us to become traumatized? * 3:51: What does chronic illness have to do with attachment and trauma?* 5:03: The impact of trauma on parenting* 10:32: What happens in your brain and body when you experience trauma* 12:22: “My body is betraying me”* 24:13: Was what happened to me “trauma?”* 28:44: Identifying emotional wounds * 30:15: Attachment styles and examplesConnect with MeganMegan’s book, Choose Yourself, out in May 2025 from Sounds True Publishing, is out on preorder in February 2025. Get on her email list here to stay in the loop. → Get her Love Blueprint workbook (free) here→ Access Megan’s meditations hereThank you for listening and reading, friend. Our next episode (S1E6) is about a different type of trauma. It’s an interview with OB/Gyn Cali Buckheit, MD about her experience developing a life-threatening case of listeria while 27 weeks pregnant with her second child, and how it forever impacted the way she communicates with her patients who experience birth trauma. 🎙️ Modern Hysteria is now on Spotify and Apple Podcasts! Talk soon— MicahP.S. Want a book you can’t put down for the cozy holiday season? Take the Feminist Book Finder quiz here to get a personalized recommendation (some of my favorites are on this list!). Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

Hi, friend.It’s Micah of Modern Hysteria, your podcast (and newsletter) about the taboo topics of women’s health. And, in this episode, we talk about how to rewrite the narrative of shame we have around our sexuality and sex lives — not just for ourselves but for our kids — and what society teaches us (and doesn’t teach us) about women’s pleasure.Time stamps: * 5:34: The importance of consent and communication * 11:00: Teaching kids to have a healthy sexual ethic * 17:15: Deconstructing your faith and finding new ways forward* 24:55: Empowerment of discovering your own pleasure* 27:46: What’s in your bag?In S1E2, writer and content creator Tiffany Torres Williams brought us back to the heyday of purity culture in the 90s-00s in her home state of Texas, where she was raised to believe she should be:* ashamed of her sexuality * responsible for the purity of the men in her life and her future husband’s sexual satisfaction(⚠️ Content warning: Mention of sexual intimacy and high-control religion)Catch up on Part 1 here.Modern Hysteria is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.What’s in Tiffany’s bag?* Umbrella to protect her fabulous hair from humidity* Pens and highlighters, because … writer, obv.* Various shades of red lipstick for extra va-va-voom 💄Her favorite shades for a red lip: 💄 Midnight Red by Mary Kay (her “absolute favorite”)💄 Fireoff by Revlon💄 Bad Blood by Urban DecayMentioned in this episode: * Anne Helen Petersen’s Substack, Culture Study* Joshua Harris’s documentary, I Survived I Kissed Dating GoodbyeConnect with Tiffany* 🌈 Follow on Instagram* 🗞️ Subscribe to her Substack, Project 2025 TakedownThanks for listening!— MicahUpcoming episodes* Birth trauma with Dr. Cali Buckheit* Postpartum rage with Allison Staiger* CPTSD and shame with Grace Bithell* Emotional trauma and illness with Megan Sherer* Money and mental health with Erin Steele * Postpartum support with Kelsey Marr * Pleasure, libido, and people-pleasing with Lucy Rowett * Emotional and narcissistic abuse with Sarene Leeds * Body dysmorphia with Dr. Laura Glazebrook … and lots more. I can’t wait to share the expertise of these badass women with you. Subscribe to the pod here to get new episodes sent straight to your inbox: Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

Hi, friend. Did you get on the sourdough bandwagon during COVID? Sourdough baking trended in 2020 while we all sat in our individual homes, looking for ways to feel productive, and, according to Google search trends, it’s still having a renaissance moment. Like a lot of aspiring sourdough-ers, I failed repeatedly at sourdough starter and nearly gave up entirely.That is, until my guest this week, Laura Lemon of Hippiebilly Homestead — a plant-based urban homesteader in Columbus, Ohio with a background in nutrition science and public health — got me on the right track and, via Instagram, fielded my questions about feeding a starter. And, now … Later, Laura and I connected more deeply over our shared history of preeclampsia, a life-threatening pregnancy complication that affects blood pressure and can lead to strokes, seizures, organ failure, and premature birth, even death. Another similarity Laura and I share is that we turned to nature to heal our reproductive trauma. Specifically, we both threw ourselves into gardening. The practice of growing food, nurturing plants, and tending the soil does something for the aching heart and mind.Laura’s core belief is that anyone can participate in homesteading practices by starting small, whether it be with a single potted plant or finding your local municipal composting site.Last year, she started to offer classes on her homestead for preschoolers to learn to grow food. She also built a **sick** mud kitchen for her kiddos and students, and found homesteading to be an enormous source of postpartum healing after experiencing birth trauma with both of her children.And she had a goat named Crybaby.Laura’s a homesteader. I consider myself a hobby farmer. And, here, we tread dangerously close to other hot-button labels, like: * Tradwife — “traditional wife;” a woman who believes in traditional gender roles and marriage; this term became mainstream in the 2020s as tradwife influencers grew followings on social media; they’re often criticized for romanticizing the oppression of women* Doomsday prepper — someone who hoards resources for protection against a catastrophic event; sometimes called a “survivalist” Here’s my shot at a Venn diagram: Sourdough in particular lives at the center of at least two of these circles. And I’ve even found myself identifying with other women saying: I know I’m making sourdough, but please do not mistake me as a tradwife.Because “homesteading” and its associated labels often have political connotations, the central question I posed to Laura in this episode was: "Can homesteading support women's health, healing, and mental wellbeing while challenging traditional gender roles?"I was thinking here specifically about Hannah Neeleman of Ballerina Farm, the (in)famous influencer who, in my opinion, particularly since she graced the cover of Evie magazine last week, belongs in the homesteader-tradwife subcategory. She’s been accused of “poverty cosplay” and promoting submission to men, among other things. → (Read more from Sara Petersen at In Pursuit of Clean Countertops)In this episode, Laura and I talked about: * the overlapping spheres of homesteading, hobby farming, influencers, and tradwives * postpartum healing and community after birth trauma * teaching appreciation for food and gender equality in the kitchenTime stamps* 7:26: Raising kids on a homestead* 10:31: Is #slowliving realistic?* 14:02: Critique of the tradwife movement* 20:16: The journey to homesteading* 26:40: Community support for postpartum moms* 29:00: Being a homestead influencerWhat’s in Laura’s bag?* Moleskine journal* Robin Wall Kimmerer’s new book, The Serviceberry * Fruit pouches * Diapers Thanks for listening and reading! Tiffany Torres Williams returns on our next episode to talk more about how purity culture affects our brains and bodies.Catch Part 1 with Tiffany here: S1E2 Virgin to Vixen on Your Wedding NightAnywayyy, I hope you had a good Thanksgiving if you celebrated it. Let’s talk soon!— MicahP.S. Wanna continue this convo? Join me for our free online Women’s Sharing Circles. Our next one is Dec. 10, and the topic is “Feminine Rage.” 🗓️ Dec. 10, 1-2p ET / 10a-11a PT Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe

Hi! It’s Micah of Modern Hysteria. In our second full episode, multitalented writer and photographer Tiffany Torres Williams tells us about her experiences growing up in evangelical Christianity during the heyday of purity culture, and how it affects all of us in the bedroom (and our brains).⚠️ Content warning: Mention of sexual assault and high-control religionPurity culture — religious ideology in which sexual abstinence, particularly for women, is a measure of morality and worth; rooted in evangelical Christianity and conservative culture, which idealizes “purity” and rigid gender roles.If you were exposed to purity culture, you may also:* ongoing anxiety about not living up to “moral” standards* might view yourself as “damaged goods” if you don’t meet those standards* have overwhelming fear or dread of sexual intimacy (even in long-term relationships)* feel uncomfortable with nudity* have difficulty asserting boundaries or saying “no”* experience pelvic pain or vaginisumus, involuntary tightening of the muscles around the vaginal wall, which makes penetration painful or impossible* have difficulty with libido and arousal* don’t like to talk about sex at all, even with your medical provider or partner Tiffany explains that women who grow up in this subculture are taught they are responsible for upholding their purity and for mens’ moral failings. Not only does this set women up for failure and a lifetime of vigilance, but it teaches men and boys that they are not responsible for their own behaviors.This episode was inspired by a question I put out on social media: Can you go from virgin to vixen on your wedding night as women are expected to do in high-control religion? And, this related question:How does purity culture affect women’s mental health as it relates to sex?Unfortunately, our recording sesh got cut short for S1E2, so look out for a Part 2, and, in the meantime, comment below with questions for Tiffany or anything you’d like to add ↓Connect with Tiffany* 🌈 Follow on Instagram* 🗞️ Subscribe to her Substack, Project 2025 TakedownUp next, I chat with Laura Lemon of Hippiebilly Homestead about homesteading, motherhood, mental health, and postpartum (plus tradwife influencers like Ballerina Farm). Thanks for listening!— MicahP.S. Our next (free, online) Women’s Sharing Circle is on Dec. 10, and we’re talking about feminine rage. Click here for more information Get full access to Modern Hysteria at micahlarsen.substack.com/subscribe