I love the Thanksgiving holiday because it’s a reminder of the abundance we experience every day. But instead of focusing on gratitude for this episode, I want to focus on love.   We have many false concepts about love, concepts handed down to us from others and “affirmed” by our life experience. The ego would have us believe that love comes from others as if it’s outside of ourselves. Many of us grew up believing that love is conditional and is something we need to earn.    If we believe love is something we have to earn, there’s an inherent assumption it can also be lost, withheld, or taken away when we don’t perform or measure up.   And if we believe that we only receive love after doing something “worthy,” there will always be an element of questioning our own worth, which can easily lead to a sense of not-enoughness hanging over us.    This is not love.    Love just is — it’s all around you. It’s there whether you accept it or not, and is unchanging and is always available to you.    Why does having an improved concept of love matter anyway?    Because living in the reality of love as an ever-present force brings peace to the self. When you embrace that love simply is, that it doesn’t have to be earned, you can begin accepting yourself as you are. And when you accept yourself as you are, it’s much easier to accept others as they are. This is the personal freedom we all seek.    See how beautiful and contagious can this be?   If love could speak for itself, what would it say?    Maybe the message would look like this:   Stop it already. You are enough. Give up trying to win love. You already have it. Just be.   Love — or better said, the seeking of it — is behind every intention, every behavior. (This might be difficult to believe at first glance, but dig a little deeper, and you’ll see that it’s true.) Look beyond your perceived limitations. You are capable of anything you want to achieve.   Love is always present.   Love does not judge.   Love is patient.  Happy Thanksgiving, with much love.   Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Links from today’s episode:   The Big Forgiveness Episode   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Science tells us that we’re exposed to somewhere between 2 and 11 million bits of information per second, but we can only consciously process 50 to 60 of those bits. To simplify things, the unconscious mind creates shortcuts to size up information and reach conclusions efficiently.    That strategy works great for lots of things.   When you arrive at a traffic light, you don’t have to think about what the red light means, and you don’t feel confused about what to do when it turns green. Thanks to symbols and mental shortcuts, you can sail through many daily situations — no problem. Those mental shortcuts can serve us well — most of the time.   When it comes to relationships, though, those mental shortcuts can be a problem. It’s easy for us to jump to conclusions based on our perceptions. We come to conclusions based on what we think we perceive in others’ body language, behaviors, and tone. Then we act on those often erroneous conclusions, causing us to pull back, assume things we shouldn’t, make bad decisions, or even alienate others.    As much as we may like to think otherwise, we’re not mind readers. Not only that, everything that we do perceive is first filtered and then always distorted by our own experiences, beliefs, values, and perspectives.    Here's how we can make those filters less likely to limit us:   Recognize that you have biases, that you can never know the whole story. There’s nothing personal about this. It’s simply a reality based on how the mind works. Become more self-aware by recognizing your own beliefs, values, and biases. And, become aware of how you could do better.  Ask more questions. Instead of assuming, get curious. Ask for clarification. Ask for more details. Ask why.    This process will benefit all of your relationships — whether personal or for business. It will increase understanding and broaden your perspective, paving the way for better connections.     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Check out our awesome freebie section!   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

We’re approaching Thanksgiving, and I’m going into appreciation mode in a big way. My kids call this my sappy time of year because I’m in such deep gratitude for everything from sunrises and sunsets to family and my work. I get misty-eyed from feeling overwhelmed with all the goodness in my life.    A big part of what I’m thankful for is you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for all the messages you send me. It is a joy to share with you what I’ve learned about creating a life you can love. And while today’s episode may seem cliche since it’s airing right around Thanksgiving, the message here is pure gold for helping you get what you want in life.    For years my mom has had the practice of, as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning, she would give thanks — for breath, her pillow, blanket, for her healthy body… I’ve adopted the same practice, though it hasn’t always been my practice.   I know what it’s like to wake up feeling anxious, scared, and totally stressed out. I did that for many years. Giving thanks hasn’t always been easy for me, but practicing gratitude is just that —  a practice. And it’s worth it because it’s so powerful that this seemingly small practice can change your life.   Cultivating a gratitude practice is one of the most powerful things you can do to shift your perspective and your life in a positive direction.     Today’s episode is an invitation to do one simple process from now through the end of the year. Make a list of everything you’re grateful for. No need to list why you’re grateful. Just list the good stuff, one thing after the other. Empty out in one big session of thankfulness.   Then each day from now to the end of the year, add one thing to the list.    What you can expect is that as you focus on the good things in your life, you’ll start to notice more good things in your life experience. It’s just the way the mind works.    Enjoy it. Bask in it. Play with the process. Have fun with it. Feel all the good feels and give thanks for the shifts and wins along the way.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Ask and it is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks Check out our fabulous freebie section!   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

We often have the idea that we have to accomplish or acquire things before having a life we love. Actually, the opposite is true. When you learn to love your life right now, you'll more easily be able to accomplish what you want.   It sounds backward, doesn’t it?    What I’ve discovered is that the people that thrive in my programs are the ones that focus on making their present moment the best that it can possibly be.    NLP teaches that a key component to living a happy life is managing your moment-to-moment experience. You might not have what you want yet or be where you want to be right now, but by managing how you feel, you can train your brain to support you in achieving those things you desire.   Managing your moment-to-moment experience is the most effortless way I know of to get from where you are to where you want to be.   Here are five tips to support you in doing just that.   Write about what you want using positive language (leave out the things you want to “not happen”). Write in as much detail as you want. Revise it. Let it rest a few days, and then revisit it. Then revise some more. Play with those dreams and desires and have fun with the process.  Look for ways to cultivate self-love and self-care. This requires awareness of how you’re feeling in the moment. When you feel down or off, take the time to explore where the negativity is coming from, address it, and support yourself in feeling better. Explore ways to make your present moment more enjoyable and fulfilling. Listen to a feel-good audio, take deep breaths, sit in gratitude or make a thankful list. And when something good happens, savor that moment so that the positive feelings will last as long as possible. Decide on what you want to achieve long-term. If you’re not sure about the specifics, just focus on the big picture and the essence of what you want to feel. Honor yourself by taking action. No need to try to tackle everything at once. Just consistently give a bit of time each day to take another step toward your goals.    Creating a life you love asks of you that you make today, this moment, one that feels alive, invigorating, and nourishes and empowers you. It’s about the now — not someday. You can’t resent the now and create a beautiful future.         Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Mind Revolution episode, Managing Negative Emotions Effectively Mind Revolution episode, 5 Ways to Cultivate Self-Love Check out our freebies!   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

We’ve just completed our 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough. It was everything I had hoped — and more! After going live nearly every day for three weeks, I was running on empty and in need of a break. When I slowed down and pressed pause, I realized what I was craving most — gentle loving-kindness towards myself.   I’m not talking about self-care. Nor am I talking about eating well, going to the gym, or getting enough sleep. I’m good about that sort of routine self-care.   What was missing was a deeper, more gentle connection with myself.    That deeper kind of self-love, for me, comes from an assumption that I’m worthy. I don’t have to wait or do anything or reach some level of “perfection” before I’m worthy of self-love. Perfection doesn’t exist in the real world. I exist, therefore I am worthy.    Self-love is a state of being. Today I’m sharing ways to cultivate more of that deep self-love:   Have self-awareness. Be aware of what you’re thinking, feeling, and what you want. Be curious about these things without passing judgment. Then ask if those things serve you. If they don’t, you can work to change your feelings, thoughts, and desires to something that does serve you. Practice loving, compassionate self-care. Practicing big-picture self-care isn’t about having a set way of doing things. Compassionate self-care lets you gauge what will best serve you in your moment-to-moment experience. It’s having the flexibility to meet yourself, with compassion, where you are right now.     Take responsibility for your wellbeing. Accept that you’re responsible for your emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing.  Set healthy boundaries. Know when it’s appropriate to say yes and no. Find a balance and honor your boundaries. Celebrate your progress and your wins. Your unconscious mind is like a small child. The more you communicate to your unconscious mind what you want, what you like, how you want to feel, the more it will bring the essence of those things into your experience.   Self-love is so much more than feeling good. It’s about having a deep appreciation for yourself and meeting yourself where you are right now.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Mind Revolution episode “My 5 Daily Practices for Making it a Great Day” Check out our freebies that will help you with emotional self-care   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Part of being human is having a desire for evolution and change. We are seekers of constant improvement. Sometimes change is hard to come by because there’s no clear path to go from where we are to what we want. This is where determination and resolve come in handy.   I think it’s safe to say that if you’re reading this, you want to take charge of making changes in your life.    You’re ready to take an active role in creating what you want in your life experience.    Great — taking ownership of your success journey will require a few things that when you apply consistently will make success a reality faster than you might think.    You must have the potential for change. Nothing will happen without it. So, How do you know if you’ve got potential for change? You feel unsatisfied with things in your life experience and have a nagging thought you’re meant for more. You have a curious mind. You have an ability and desire to learn. You’re ready to take responsibility for the 4 things you can control: Your thoughts — Your thoughts lead to your focus which leads to your outcomes. If your thoughts aren’t leading to successful outcomes, you can change them to something that better serves you. Check out our free resources linked in the show notes. Your emotions — Emotions are communication from your unconscious mind. Learn from them, process them, and get into feel-good states. Your language — The words you speak and the words in your mind matter. Use positive, toward language to speak to the things you want and how you want them (not about what you don’t want). Your actions — Take consistent action that aligns with the success you want. The key is to do it consistently and with intention. Be at cause. This is the essential NLP frame for empowerment.When you decide to take ownership of your outcomes, you become more aware of your state, environment, and the outcomes you’re currently getting. The empowerment frame teaches that you are the sum of your conscious and unconscious choices. So if you want to know how you’re doing, just look around what’s going on internally and externally. There’s no blame here — only the knowledge and awareness that you have a choice in the matter. And when you know better, you can do better. Awareness leads to inspired action, which leads to more resources, more knowledge, and opportunities for creating lasting change. Then you’ll be ready to create the change you seek by doing the following: Focus on what you want with complete abandon. Don’t get frustrated if it’s not your life experience right now. Maintain focus on the desire for the sheer joy of wanting it. Speak to what you want. Using positive, toward language creates momentum. Simply say it the way you want it. Take action that aligns with your goals. Be at cause by paying attention to your moment-to-moment experience.   This is simple, but it isn’t easy. My coaching programs help clients get to success more quickly. But can you do it on your own? Absolutely! I did. And you’ll find many free resources here to support you on your journey. Own your journey. You’ve got this.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   Soulful Business Revolution Program — open for enrollment now 21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough Mind Revolution episode The Life-Changing Power of Redefining Deserving Check out our free resources!

Are you deserving of all good things?   Deep down, do you FEEL deserving?   When I asked the folks in my Abundance Breakthrough that question, I got a mixed bag of answers. Some people said yes, others said sometimes, and some said, “I feel like I have to earn my deserving.”   Many of us grew up with ideas from religion or household rules or other life philosophies about deserving being a prerequisite to having good things, so it’s understandable that the idea of deserving is deeply ingrained in many of us. Deserving presupposes that we have to achieve, do, or prove something to be worthy of having what we want.     Here’s my next question: Who decides what or how much you deserve?   Here are some sobering things I’ve observed about the concept of deserving: Deserving assumes we have to do something to have good things. And if you don’t do those things, then you don’t deserve the good things you want. If we’ve done “good,” then we might feel entitled to those good things — like somebody owes us something. Then entitlement puts us at effect because we’re expecting people or situations outside of ourselves to fulfill a desire. A feeling of deservingness can lead to inaction. If we feel like we’re already deserving, it can lead to an I-should-already-have-it attitude and a failure to take action toward what we want.  The concept of deserving can result in justification for bad behavior. “I deserve this, so I’m going to just take it.” Deserving can lead to self-sabotage. “I’ve been good lately, so I’m going to cheat on my diet today. I deserve this.”   What if instead of working to be deserving you believed that:    You don’t “deserve” abundance in the same way you don’t “deserve” scarcity.   You don’t “deserve” good health in the same way you don’t “deserve” disease.   You don’t “deserve” love in the same way you don’t “deserve” pain.   You don’t “deserve” success in the same way you don’t “deserve” failure.   Think of how your focus would shift and how you would use your time and energy.    I help my clients unlink the concept of deserving from anything they want to achieve all the time because that narrative is outdated and irrelevant. We would be better served by focusing more on congruence and alignment with the abundance and worthiness inherent within each of us.    Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   21-Day NLP Abundance Breakthrough Check out our free resource for rewriting limiting beliefs   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

According to the principles of NLP, you’re living two realities — your internal reality and the external reality. And your external reality is going to align with your internal reality. This is why you’ve heard me say if you want to know how you’re doing on the inside, look at what’s happening in your environment.    My clients are “getting” this, and they know to look inward when they don’t like what’s happening in their environment.   Case in point — one of my clients is in an industry that requires her to make telephone sales calls. She had been given multiple verbal yeses from potential clients, but these prospects hadn’t signed on the bottom line. So she had verbal agreements but nothing concrete.   Upon reflection, she had a lightbulb moment. Her prospects were not following through with their verbal commitments in the same way that she was not following through with making her sales calls.   Boom!   This is how it happens. What’s happening internally will be reflected in your environment.   Remember that the unconscious mind is highly moral. It will be faithful to the morality it’s been taught. And I would bet that most of us came from upbringings where we were expected to honor our commitments. And if we didn’t, there may have been some sort of punishment.    If that’s the case for you, your unconscious mind can “discipline” you when you fail to meet your commitments or honor your decisions. “Discipline” can show up in a myriad of ways. And if you’re paying attention, you can find the connections and make corrections. Remember that your unconscious mind’s job is to get you back on track as defined by what it knows to be true.    And when you honor your decisions by taking action… You create the container for that action. It may be awkward and uncomfortable at first when you haven’t done it consistently. But the more you do it, the more your container,  the more comfortable you’ll be with the change.  Because perception is projection, the people in your space will honor your decisions too. And sometimes, you’ll see them begin to honor their commitments too.   One of my clients likens this process to a phoenix rising. Honoring your decisions and commitments builds momentum and strength and the internal conviction that “I keep my commitments.” Before long, you’ll have an attitude of “What else can I do? What’s next?”          Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   21-day NLP Abundance Breakthrough   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

Evolving, growing, transforming — this is what the people in my space want (and they’re doing it!) Change is beautiful and thrilling, and it comes with some challenges.   When you're ready to create change, your unconscious mind will begin to show you all the ways that what you’re currently doing doesn’t work. And let me tell you, that can feel frustrating. But it’s just your unconscious mind confirming for you that growth is in order. While uncomfortable, this is just part of the growth process. So it’s probably a good idea to expect and embrace it. It means that your unconscious mind is getting on board — which is great news!   This discomfort is what can propel you to take action in the direction of what you want. The first step can be especially difficult because your nervous system is learning and evolving to accommodate the growth you’re seeking.    This is why taking those first steps can be painfully uncomfortable.   I’ve made two big changes in my career, and both times my new choices were uncomfortable until I learned the way around this expanded version of me. Recording and publishing my first podcast was so scary! But after doing it a few times, it was no big deal. And now I record and release episodes with speed. No sweat. When I decided to get more visible and start creating videos on Instagram — yikes! I was so nervous! Now that I’ve done it, though, I’m becoming more comfortable. I feel as if my brain is expanding and supporting me, and I’m even having fun with it.   What changed? Two things.  I took (external) action.  I had (internal) growth.    Our nervous systems have a tremendous ability to change when things in our environment begin to change. But in order for change to occur, we must do some things differently. Our  internal growth is fueled the action we take during times of change. And evolution of our neurological container (the nervous system) can and does compel us to action. In other words, action, growth, and evolution go hand in hand.   To be successful in making changes in business: Don’t compare yourself to the outliers in your industry. You shouldn’t expect the same results as someone who has been working at their business for years or has a massive email list when you’re a few months in. Model them, sure. But don’t compare.  Learn to sell by listening and using language effectively. (This is where the NLP Selling Series comes in!) Become more visible to grow your business — share content regularly, show your face on social media, try out video. Don’t worry; people are not nearly as interested in what you do or look like as you are.  Persevere. Keep going. Take the next step. As you do, your nervous system will evolve to support you. Honor your vision. By giving it energy By learning new things By getting better each day   Change is indeed hard. And you might feel like it's not the right time because you've never done this before. I’ve got to break it to you… There's no such thing as a right time when your brain hasn't done it before. Embrace the discomfort to embrace the growth. You and your vision are worth it! And I’m here to support you on your journey. Let’s do this!     Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   21-day NLP Abundance Breakthrough   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn

People are social creatures, and we organize ourselves into cultures, societies, governments, groups. And here’s the thing about these groups — most people here are living in a self-sacrificial environment. At an unconscious level, we’re taught that the individual is subservient to the group, and the group is more important than the individual.   Is it any wonder that most of us have a hard time embracing our desires and dreams when we’ve been conditioned to feel guilty and selfish if we expend too much energy going after what we want?   In today’s episode, we scratch the surface of Clare Graves’ Values work. Clare Graves’ work is less about individual values and more about thinking systems. The foundational values level systems are rooted in self-sacrifice or aggressive, shoot-myself-in-the-foot type of self-expression.    It’s not until Values Level (VL) 5 (there are at least 8 values levels) that we get into expressive values with win-win scenarios. It’s a level where individualistic, “selfish” behavior isn’t viewed as being at odds with the group’s prosperity. This is huge! Especially for entrepreneurs, coaches, and commissioned salespeople.     It’s my goal to help all of my entrepreneurial clients and students transition into a solid VL5. Here you can begin to really live — guilt-free — from a place of abundance, of recognizing that it won’t take anything away from anyone else. And the nature of VL5 allows for more curiosity which usually leads to more introspective work and deeper spiritual connections.   Is Values Level 5 all there is? Hardly. But according to Clare Grave’s model, we can’t fully evolve to more complex levels until we’ve actualized the previous ones. Transitioning out of the sacrificial levels and firmly into a more resourcefully expressive level is key to your personal and financial evolution.    Yep, Values Levels play an unconscious role in your money story. The story creates internal systems and environments that affect your decision-making.    And you can interrupt unhelpful stories by… Remembering that it’s just a story Interrupting the story with reject-delete and something that makes you laugh Imagining the power that once belonged to the story is coming back to you, where it belongs Taking action that aligns with what you want   You are the author of your money story. If the story you’re currently running isn’t serving you, change it.    To learn more about how to do this, join our upcoming 21-day NLP abundance breakthrough. It’s free, and it’s powerful. Make your money story one that you want to live.      Thanks for listening!   To share your thoughts:   Leave a note in the comment section below Use the “I have a question” button Share this show on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn  Find Brenda on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and YouTube Links from today’s episode:   21-day free NLP abundance breakthrough, starting October 6   To help out the show:   Leave a positive review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews help, and I read each and every one. Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher or Libsyn