Me and my friend John Richards recently decided to record one of our conversations. As it is my custom, I did not prepare in any way — when it comes to heart-inspired conversations, I have learned to simply 'tune in' to the reality within, lay down any agendas I might have, and stay open and curious. But even I didn't expect this conversation to happen in the way it did... Our time together turned from conversation to interview, but it wasn't John who was being interviewed — it was me! We delved into things such as: — how we first met, and what John's first impression of me was — the impact of a group of friends who are 'real' and committed to truth — how men tend to overcompensate for inner 'weaknesses' and how to move on from those cycles — sex, porn and masturbation — what happens when men are not taught and trained to handle power as boys — the price of 'killing the boy' inside yourself and building up external life without him — the origins of the desire to control our environment and the fear that hides behind the facade of the muscle-building addiction — the way unresolved childhood issues are taken into a marriage — the way shame and the fear of 'being seen' play out in a man's life and relationships — the effectiveness of forgiveness which does not take away a person's power — the importance of honouring all emotions and releasing them from repression ...and more! _______________________________________ John's website: www.awarenesschange.com

In this episode, I am finally reunited with my friend John Fontaine, to talk about something we both love wholeheartedly — movies! Join us as we sit down to discuss topics such as: — why films are important to most people — what are our favourite films and why — how have we searched in film, for something missing in our reality — how movies represent and mirror the spiritual and masculine journey — what our favourite films and characters tell us about ourselves — how movies represent and mirror the spiritual and masculine journey — what our favourite films and characters tell us about ourselves ...and a lot more besides! John Fontaine's website: www.maximusheart.com ____________________________________________________________________ To revisit my first 'sit-down' with John, click on the links below: (video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEN4UbgJrJo (audio) https://www.menscorner.co.uk/podcast-1/episode/c385e540/007-roots-and-story-a-conversation-with-john-fontaine)

In this conversation, I sit down with a remarkable young man, Alexander Dziri, whom I have had the honour to meet earlier this year. A bit about him: A professional breakdancer in his younger years, Alex was part of 'Team Shmetta' — one of the top crews in the world between 2009 and 2013. With them, he has travelled the world and 'battled' on stages of more than 10.000 people. Alex has organised a world breakdance championship called 'Raw Circles' in his home city of Antwerp, in Belgium. At its peak, 'Raw Circles' has had one million yearly YouTube views, 2000 people present and 50 countries participating... After the peak of his career as a breakdancer, Alex moved to London and started working for the highly popular show 'London Real' as their head of product. During his three years with them, Alex has created four major online courses and has led most of the marketing efforts around them in terms of launch strategy, copywriting, sales-pages, and social media strategy — all of which had made millions of pounds in revenue. Today, Alex has a successful career as a business-and-awareness coach. He coaches entrepreneurs in helping them with their marketing strategy, content creation, product creation and launch strategy. He combines all this with awareness, helping the entrepreneur understand what they really want, and prevent them from getting 'burned-out', feeling lost or overwhelmed. In this conversation me and Alex delve into topics such as: — growing up with an uninvolved father and the endless drive to prove yourself — inheriting your father's burdens — the inability to feel and pass on the love that you've never received as a child — suicide and the dark side of (external) success — the serious consequences of not expressing yourself — being 'driven by fear' versus being 'drawn by love' — the difference between what most people think they want and what they need — meeting 'the lion' inside yourself — letting go of old, pent-up emotions — learning to love ...and a lot more besides! ________________________________________________________________ Relevant links/resources: Alex's speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnUylN8ybSg&t=1s Alex's website: www.alexanderdziri.com John Richards: www.awarenesschange.com ________________________________________________________________ More: On suppression and integration: https://soundcloud.com/mrjukes/integration https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c5IRXoH18g

Some of you would remember that I recently shared a talk given by my good friend John Richards... (you can listen to it here: https://soundcloud.com/mrjukes/integration) This podcast is my 'answer'. Here, I delve deeper into most of the topics that he talked about, and offer some useful examples from my own life and work... (you can watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c5IRXoH18g) Additional resources: On inner-child work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAjK_geKIx8&list=PLBmVa2i4gc-8Tv16jE77VESB1QD0-KpzJ&index=8 On masculine initiation in adulthood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl10UZJ4Ad0&list=PLBmVa2i4gc-8Tv16jE77VESB1QD0-KpzJ&index=10 On the father-wound: https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/the-wound-that-all-men-carry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2gPkxrk1TE&list=PLBmVa2i4gc-8Tv16jE77VESB1QD0-KpzJ&index=3 On forgiveness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbqMQRBrL54&list=PLBmVa2i4gc-8Tv16jE77VESB1QD0-KpzJ&index=7 On reclaiming your anger and embracing your dangerous side: https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/man-s-deeper-nature-anger https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/why-only-the-strong-can-be-good https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/why-i-don-t-want-to-be-nice-anymore On integrating your past and your future: https://storytellingandmore.wordpress.com/2020/09/24/a-boy-walks-into-a-bar/ On the muscle-building addiction: https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/my-fitness-journey-part-4-building-the-wall

'What is your story?' Attempting to answer this question would be, for every one of us, a process. Not many of us have clarity about the rich, confusing complexity of concepts like 'story' and 'roots'...not to mention the idea of a real, substantial, practical spirituality. Needless to say, true masculinity cannot exist, unless it is based on these things. To start 'digging deeper' into them, I sat down with John Fontaine — somebody I have known for a while now and have become friends with — who is a men's group facilitator, writer, blogger, storyteller and an adventurer who has been venturing into the frontiers of the masculine journey for decades. Born in The Bronx, NY, currently living in Louisville, Kentucky, John runs a website called 'Maximus Heart' where he writes about the deeper stories of the masculine and spiritual journey. Together, we delve into topic such as: growing up in a 'danger mode'; fathering and his 'father-wound'; crack addiction; loneliness and pornography; what every little boy needs to know; loving a woman and getting in touch with your 'lover archetype'; writing a letter to your 'inner child'; the connection between masculinity and music, beauty and spirituality... ...these and so much more! John Fontaine's website: www.maximusheart.com Other resources and websites mentioned: The ManKind Project: www.mankindproject.org Wild at Heart: www.wildatheart.org

Depression comes to us in many different forms; but today we will look at the kind that I have dealt with in my life, and after a decade-long battle, have successfully defeated. For a while now, I have been helping men face, engage, and overcome that very same kind of depression; and this podcast offers insight into what I have come to call 'the missing link' in the battle with depression -- empowering men to step out of its suffocating embrace and get their manhood back... The lion must roar...there is no other way; this is what he had been made for. If we deny his nature, we will deprive him of his strength; and when the good are no longer strong, the evil will take their place -- to the ruin of us all. Relevant video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLBmvgrktus&t=14s 'Life Training for Men': www.trainingformen.co.uk 'Men's Corner': www.menscorner.co.uk _____________________________________________________________________ More relevant material: On the dark side of being nice: https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/why-i-don-t-want-to-be-nice-anymore On 'good' anger: https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/man-s-deeper-nature-anger On good men's strength: https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/why-only-the-strong-can-be-good

In this episode, George Stoimenov and Keith Robertson sit down to discuss 'Man and Boy' — a novel by Tony Parsons. Reading and reflecting on different parts of the book, they delve deeper into topics such as: old-school masculinity versus modern one; boyhood and father-son relationship; marriage and maturity; addiction and infidelity — and a lot more... www.menscorner.co.uk

''The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.'' — Ernest Hemingway, ''A Farewell to Arms'' Among many things that are true of the human condition in general and men in particular, is the fact that we are broken. Not insecure, not immature, and certainly not just needing to learn how to be better... No — all men are broken. 'I cried when I was born', wrote George Herbert once, 'and every day shows why.' Indeed it does. The world, and all who live in it, have once cried tears of pain, sorrow, or regret — or are certain to do so at some point in the future; so how can we think that we have somehow escaped this (literally) heart-breaking reality? The condition of the broken inner being — the heart, as I call it — is within us all; we are all sufferers. Years and decades of slow erosion of hopes, dreams and aspirations, the soul-deep cutting of violence and abuse, the lack of attention, touch, and affirmation — it all damages the spirit, it all breaks the heart. And it all creates deep hunger: it fuels hidden compulsions, lusts, and cravings. If we take this to be true, then, and acknowledge that we are all damaged, broken, and hurting inside, we must then allow ourselves to look toward another reality... We must look at the ways in which we have dealt with that pain. The pain is present: there is no doubt. But what are we doing with it? The answer, according to years of painful experience, is this: We medicate it. We numb it. Using food, work, sex, or hobbies — things that are not bad by themselves — we try to fill the gaping hole within, to heal the pain that would not go away... Some crave intimacy, and try to fill the void with sex. Some long for safety, and control their world and those who share it with them. Some try to flee their pain, and numb themselves with drugs. Some try to flee their weakness, and are obsessed with being strong. Some feel no worth at home, and hide behind their work. Some long to be affirmed in who they are, and seek approval from the outer world... Long is the list of human addictions, and deep is the brokenness of men. And so, if we want to move toward being the men we want to be, we must first admit these two things to ourselves: We are all broken. We are all addicted. The first statement needs no defending; the second needs an honest look. Ask yourself, if you will — what are my addictions? What are those things, activities or possessions, that you would rather die, than live without? Yes — broken; all of us. Broken. Yet, there is hope — at least for those who are too tired to run from their pain and medicate it with addictions. We must go the opposite way. We must ask ourselves not only what our addictions are, but, most importantly, what pain are we medicating with them... Because, you see, pain doesn't have to have the final word. We can face our wounds, and not only survive, but actually be healed as well. Imagine that... Healed. Restored. Free to live. And strong. At last, strong. Strong in the broken places. Sound good, doesn't it? But not too good to be true — not for those who are brave enough to turn around and face that which they have been running from. Courage — you are brave. www.menscorner.co.uk

When we were boys, we needed the world of men -- our fathers but also other men -- to love, train, teach, discipline, and empower us on the journey of carrying the 'feelings of childhood into the powers of manhood' -- as Coleridge beautifully put it... Later, when we are adults, we often fool ourselves by thinking we no longer need real input from other men... Because we don't know that deep inside, below all our success, achievement and our public persona; beneath all falsehood and pretence, there is a young boy that still longs to become a man. He is young, and will remain young and undeveloped, unless he receives what he needs... All that he needs, mentally, psychologically, spiritually and physically -- all the love, healing, training, development, and growth -- is to be found within a world that he has been made for, and has longed for, ever since his first years... The world of men. Masculinity -- the masculine essence within each man -- and all its needs, desires, and aspirations, can only be fully developed, nurtured, and empowered to reach its destiny, within this sacred circle -- the world of men. Seek them: search for those relationships; look for those mentors; look for the opportunity to be taught, empowered, and yes, fathered, by men who are older, wiser, and have themselves walked the walk of inner transformation. Be wise -- do not trust everyone; do not open your heart to those who do not know how to handle it, those who have not faced their own pain and unmet needs, and have come out on the other side, stronger and more alive... But do not fear. Take risks. Get out of your comfort zone. Open up at meetings. Seek the wholeness you need, and make a decision to share your life with men who are strong, caring, and committed to see others grow the way they had. We need mentors. Urgently. www.menscorner.co.uk

If things like heroism, bravery, passion, and integrity, are optional in a man's life, why then are boys so drawn to them in their first years? While we were growing up, we loved films, comic books and tales of heroism, stories about heroic men, superheroes who, facing fearsome enemies and overcoming great odds, come to the rescue of those in need... Men who are dangerous, but good. Men who serve a cause greater than themselves. Men who are not fighting out of hatred for the enemy but out of love for justice and peace. Men who are gallant, kind, compassionate, and gracious. Men who are willing to sacrifice their own lives for the sake of those around them. Men who are always faithful to their hearts, their beliefs, their honor, and the honor of those they love. Sadly, however, with the coming of adulthood those heroes of childhood begin to look, for most of us at least, a bit out of touch with the real world, a bit outdated, a bit naive... And so we put the comic books in the attic; we throw the old VHS tapes in the old basket full of old things; we give the plastic swords to our little nephew. We take the memory of the valiant men we once so loved -- Superman, Batman, Iron Man, Zorro, King Arthur, William Wallace -- and we coldly remove it from our lives. We bury the heroes of our childhood. We lay them to rest, together with that part of us that loved them. Alas, this part is one that we would one day need: the part that the world would one day need. That is the part of us that is strong and fierce, which hates evil and is ready to stand up for good... We have all become less than what we could be; and we can all become more than who we are. https://www.menscorner.co.uk/post/man-s-deeper-nature-courage