Is a chauvinist a narcissist and vice versa?  Is a narcissist a chauvinist and a misogynist? There are definitely blurred lines between all of these personality disorders and character issues.  Join me as I talk with Dr. John Hudson, head of the core men’s program at the Marriage Recovery Center, about these and other characterological traits that all have emotional abuse at their core. I’m joined today by Sharmen Kimbrough, MA who specializes in Christ-centered counseling. Sharmen has been a counselor since 1995 and works primarily with women and couples who are struggling with emotional and spiritual abuse and helps them find a way to heal and build healthier relationships. Her work is built on her personal experience with trauma including emotional abuse, divorce, and single parenting, and she now uses her experiences to bring hope and wisdom to others struggling to make sense of their life and relationships. The Mad.In.Love Podcast is brought to you by the Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle and hosted by Dr. David Hawkins, MBA, MSW, MA, Ph.D. Dr. Hawkins is a renowned clinical psychologist who has brought healing and restoration to thousands of marriages and individuals since he began his work in 1976. He is passionate about helping couples heal marriage wounds and rediscover deeper connections and intimacy. Dr. Hawkins is a speaker & trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors and writes for Crosswalk.com, CBN.org, and Believe.com. He has made regular appearances on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books. Dr. Hawkins and his team of relationship experts offer narcissistic and emotional abuse counseling in Seattle and virtually nationwide. To schedule your in-person or video session, call our trained client care team at (206) 219-0145.   Discussion Points: What do you see as the problem with the apologies of emotionally immature men/narcissists How men turn comments from their spouse into feeling offended/all about him She seeks a connection, and he just wants her to shut up and leave him alone We’ve all been taught from childhood, “You apologize right now, and say it like you mean it!”  How “bad apologies’ only serve to make the woman feel small, and as if she is the one who needs fixing Asking “When will you forgive me?” - Is it ever appropriate? When a woman displays loyalty, “I’m still here, I still love you,” etc.. the man has a window of opportunity How should a “healthy apology” sound? How the MRC can help   Resources:   Sharmen Kimbrough at MRC Psychology Today Article: “13 Fake Apologies Used by Narcissists” Dr. David Hawkins at MRC Marriage Recovery Cent

Are you living in a relationship where rage or silence causes you to return that behavior toward the person treating you that way?  Have you been pushed so far, so many times, that you explode with anger toward the person pushing you?  This is what we call reactive abuse.  And its effects can transform you into someone you don’t recognize - someone you don’t want to be. In this episode, I’m speaking about reactive abuse with Dr. Lenne’ Hunt, my colleague at the MRC.  Dr. Hunt has spent most of her adult life helping others navigate life’s challenges. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and an M.S. in counseling. Lenne’ practiced as a licensed therapist for many years while also raising a generation of therapists through her role as an Associate Professor of Psychology. More recently, Lenne’ decided to take another “helping” path, laying down her therapeutic license in favor of life coaching and pastoral counseling. Dr. Hunt coaches from a perspective of an intimate relationship with the Holy Trinity and so believes that no person and no relationship is ever too far gone to be beyond hope. Dr. Hunt is the author of three books: The Fatherhood of God and the Sonship of Man, Prisoners of Hope, and One True Thing and has a teaching/discipleship ministry called Deep Unto Deep Ministries. The Mad.In.Love Podcast is brought to you by the Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle and hosted by Dr. David Hawkins, MBA, MSW, MA, Ph.D. Dr. Hawkins is a renowned clinical psychologist who has brought healing and restoration to thousands of marriages and individuals since he began his work in 1976. He is passionate about helping couples heal marriage wounds and rediscover deeper connections and intimacy. Dr. Hawkins is a speaker & trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors and writes for Crosswalk.com, CBN.org, and Believe.com. He has made regular appearances on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books. Dr. Hawkins and his team of relationship experts offer narcissistic and emotional abuse counseling in Seattle and virtually nationwide. To schedule your in-person or video session, call our trained client care team at (206) 219-0145.   Discussion Points: Dr. Lenne’ Hunt’s background  Reactive abuse can manifest like a shaken can of soda that is then opened What’s your definition of emotional abuse? Many women/clients “plead” for us to believe them, what does that stem from? The public vs. private persona of abusers How women question their abuse, “it is enough?” [to complain about?] Sulking or silent treatment– emotional neglect is also abuse Part of a therapist's role is to validate a woman’s claims Men who point to reactive behavior as “giving as good as she gets” The “emotional quicksand” that can crush the life out of you if you don’t extricate yourself [from abuse] Many so-called “helpers”- pastors, friends, colleagues - don’t recognize the context, or believe the public persona of the abuser Always assume you’re missing something– ask for more information or ‘data’ Some abuse is so subtle, even therapists must dig for more information

Is a chauvinist a narcissist and vice versa?  Is a narcissist a chauvinist and a misogynist? There are definitely blurred lines between all of these personality disorders and character issues.  Join me as I talk with Dr. John Hudson, head of the core men’s program at the Marriage Recovery Center, about these and other characterological traits that all have emotional abuse at their core. Dr. Hudson brings a wealth of experience and knowledge to the Marriage Recovery Center, having been involved in counseling professions, teaching, and ministries for over 35 years. Dr. Hudson enjoys working with individuals and couples who recognize the value of counseling and how it can facilitate better living, relationships, and personal spiritual growth. His approach to therapy is brief and solution-focused and emphasizes the strengths, needs, abilities, and preferences of the client through a collaborative model.  The Mad.In.Love Podcast is brought to you by the Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle, and hosted by Dr. David Hawkins, MBA, MSW, MA, Ph.D. Dr. Hawkins is a renowned clinical psychologist who has brought healing and restoration to thousands of marriages and individuals since he began his work in 1976. He is passionate about helping couples heal marriage wounds and rediscover deeper connections and intimacy. Dr. Hawkins is a speaker & trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors and writes for Crosswalk.com, CBN.org, and Believe.com. He has made regular appearances on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books. Dr. Hawkins and his team of relationship experts offer narcissistic and emotional abuse counseling in Seattle and virtually nationwide. To schedule your in-person or video session, call our trained client care team at (206) 219-0145.   Discussion Points: Welcome Dr. John Hudson Can you explain if there is a difference between ‘chauvinist’ and ‘narcissist’? The concept of male breadwinners, “man of the house” etc. is embedded in our culture for those of a certain age Every man we see at the MRC has issues with “superiority” Are chauvinists actually emotional abusers? Overt vs. Covert emotional abuse How can we recognize chauvinism in clients?  How can we tell it apart from NPD? Should we be using the term misogyny? What the ‘family of origin’ dynamic has to do with NPD and chauvinism Men claim ‘everything was fine’ until my wife saw one of your videos- but the pain and suffering have been there all along “Characterological” traits can be embedded and difficult to change

Do you recognize these personality traits in your spouse: being controlling, defensive, thin-skinned, entitled, superior, emotionally immature, and easily offended or affronted?  You may not realize that this is in fact emotional abuse and is a form of trauma to your spirit and extremely damaging to your sense of self. Welcome to another episode of Mad.in.Love.  I’m your host Dr. David Hawkins, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist specializing in couples crisis counseling and narcissistic and emotional abuse at the Marriage Resource Center (MRC).  I’m joined today by Sharmen Kimbrough, MA who specializes in Christ-centered counseling. Sharmen has been a counselor since 1995 and works primarily with women and couples who are struggling with emotional and spiritual abuse and helps them find a way to heal and build healthier relationships. Her work is built on her personal experience with trauma including emotional abuse, divorce, and single parenting, and she now uses her experiences to bring hope and wisdom to others struggling to make sense of their life and relationships. The Mad.In.Love Podcast is brought to you by the Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle and hosted by Dr. David Hawkins, MBA, MSW, MA, Ph.D. Dr. Hawkins is a renowned clinical psychologist who has brought healing and restoration to thousands of marriages and individuals since he began his work in 1976. He is passionate about helping couples heal marriage wounds and rediscover deeper connections and intimacy. Dr. Hawkins is a speaker & trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors and writes for Crosswalk.com, CBN.org, and Believe.com. He has made regular appearances on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books. Dr. Hawkins and his team of relationship experts offer narcissistic and emotional abuse counseling in Seattle and virtually nationwide. To schedule your in-person or video session, call our trained client care team at (206) 219-0145.   Discussion Points: Sharmen’s journey through trauma that led to her training to be a therapist We are coming up with new definitions of emotional abuse all the time Labeling the behavior instead of the person We have ‘learned responses’ to bad behavior, and sometimes that means ‘hiding’ which feels like being abused What about women who are hypervigilant, ‘over functioning’ or monitoring everything – cell phones, mileage, calories, whatever? Many men, when asked why they love their wives, can only comment on her cooking or care for their children, they don’t “see” her personality Being loved means ‘being known’ If your husband cares more about befriending and winning over your therapist, than working on your relationship, it might be time to step away A woman can decide how much bad behavior she will ‘partic

Has your spouse ever cut off your access to a bank account or credit card?  Have you felt nervous, trapped, or truly frightened because of your spouse or significant other’s actions surrounding your finances?    There is help available.  I’m Dr. David Hawkins, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist specializing in couples crisis counseling and narcissistic and emotional abuse at the Marriage Resource Center (MRC).  I’m hosting this episode of the Mad.In.Love podcast to help shed light on a form of abuse that is not as commonly talked about as physical or emotional abuse.  Financial abuse can often be triggered by fear - fear brought on by early childhood trauma, for instance, if the abuser grew up in a financially unstable situation, experiencing homelessness or other life stressors stemming from money or lack thereof. I’m joined today by Lee Kaufman, a skilled life and relationship coach who has been helping people help themselves for 20 years, including over 4,000 hours with the Marriage Recovery Center. Early in his career, he spent over a decade in the financial and legal industries.  ​This has given him unique insight on how business, finances, and family are inextricably connected. If one of these systems breaks down, the others will shortly follow. Lee’s work is based on three main principles: Connection, Intellectual Understanding, and Emotional Understanding.  In this episode we will talk about several examples of financial abuse (most often, but not always) perpetrated by men against their wives. You may not even realize that you are in a financially abusive relationship until you hear about some of the specific scenarios we discuss.  Lee tells us about identifying what level of abuse is happening, how to address it therapeutically, and the paths available to de-escalating the abuse or even extricating yourself from the abusive situation. The Mad.In.Love Podcast is brought to you by the Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle and hosted by Dr. David Hawkins, MBA, MSW, MA, Ph.D. Dr. Hawkins is a renowned clinical psychologist who has brought healing and restoration to thousands of marriages and individuals since he began his work in 1976. He is passionate about helping couples heal marriage wounds and rediscover deeper connection and intimacy. Dr. Hawkins is a speaker & trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors and writes for Crosswalk.com, CBN.org, and Believe.com. He has made regular appearances on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books. Dr. Hawkins and his team of trained experts offer narcissistic and emotional abuse counseling in Seattle and virtually nationwide. To schedule your in-person or video session, call our team at (206) 219-0145. Discussion Points: Lee Kaufman’s background  How to recognize financial abuse What are some examples of financial abuse? What should a healthy relationship around money look like? Using business or work scenarios to analyze your financial relationships Yo

Welcome to the inaugural episode of Mad.in.Love.  I’m your host Dr. David Hawkins, a Licensed Clinical Psychologist specializing in couples crisis counseling and narcissistic and emotional abuse at the Marriage Recovery Center (MRC).  Has your spouse been given every opportunity to heal and change, perhaps even in counseling, and still refusing to acknowledge any wrongdoing or personal responsibility?  It may be time for you to withdraw from that relationship that is only offering your heart and spirit chaos and destruction.   In this episode, we will discuss the many ways that you can work toward healing your relationship, but we’ll also discuss what to do when you’ve tried a thousand ways to reach your partner to connect and heal and there is “nothing more to be done.” I’m joined today by Sharmen Kimbrough, MA who specializes in Christ-centered counseling.  Sharmen has been a counselor since 1995 and works primarily with women and couples who are struggling with emotional and spiritual abuse and helps them find a way to heal and build healthier relationships. Her work is built on her personal experience with trauma including emotional abuse, divorce, and single parenting, and she now uses her experiences to bring hope and wisdom to others struggling to make sense of their life and relationships. The Mad.In.Love Podcast is brought to you by the Marriage Recovery Center in Seattle, and hosted by Dr. David Hawkins, MBA, MSW, MA, PhD. Dr. Hawkins is a renowned clinical psychologist who has brought healing and restoration to thousands of marriages and individuals since he began his work in 1976. He is passionate about helping couples heal marriage wounds and rediscover deeper connections and intimacy. Dr. Hawkins is a speaker & trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors and writes for Crosswalk.com, CBN.org, and Believe.com. He has made regular appearances on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books.   Dr. Hawkins and his team of relationship experts offer narcissistic and emotional abuse counseling in Seattle and virtually nationwide. To schedule your in-person or video session, call our trained client care team at (206) 219-0145.   Discussion Points: Emotional abuse is more often felt, than seen.  Can you give us your definition? Speak about the ‘power differential’ that we witness when a couple is struggling with emotional abuse Most often suffered by women, emotional abuse makes one party feel small, and that person can become an empty shell How self-protection remains a barrier to connecting and healing Sharmen’s dialogue tool: “What are you fighting for?” How can a discerning counselor find out the answer to “What are you fighting for?” How does failure to take responsibility for wrongdoing play out in relationships? Boundaries