America’s 250th birthday is here, and boy, is she pissed you didn’t get her anything. This week, Trump puts the grimace in Great American State Fair; baby eagles put in their ear plugs, and Bush’s Baked Beans single-handedly puts an end to the American experiment. Meanwhile, Mark Duplass helps us cling to reason, while X Mayo brings her X-factor to a little U.S. history quiz. And we go out with a bang, and a round of Second Thoughts.

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