🔸 Acquiescing, Going along with unwanted touch. And James gets feedback.
🔹 Parts:
- Assertive (but always shut down) say no to this touch!
- Acquiescing. Be nice, or be a bitch.
- E's? 17yo? Parts worried about being left alone, scaring people off.
🎓 What I'd like to do differently:
I felt particularly unhelpful in this conversations. + Points for being honest about it and not spinning out, and for choosing to keep most of my theories/conjectures to myself and sticking to the script (because I didn't have any better ideas).
I'll revisit this one more, but my first thought is that both Theresa and I like talking about the process. Very valuable In the big picture, but can also interfere with the direct communication with parts. The ""keep quiet"" protector that we targeted felt only half-present in the conversation. And there were several paths/points I wanted to explore but decided against.
Maybe "do differently" is: be more binary, like if we're talking to a part, then let's just talk to a part. I could have stayed with "ask the part", instead of hedging there. A "save questions for the end" mindset. Now, how to convince two ADHD brains to do that...?
But we're not merely distracted; we're both super keen on IFS! So I think we can't lose.
We've come to this exile-less place a few times, but I keep hearing a theme: "worried about hurting other people". I'm having trouble seeing that from an exile's point of view, just need to keep asking parts.
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