Our world has become increasingly competitive which means our ability to ascend to our dreams and become the prominent men we dream of becoming is only becoming more difficult and less likely. This, coupled with the expectations we and the people around us place on us, makes for an awful assault on the mental wellbeing of young men. Here to help us unpack these ideas is Khaya Dlanga, an established and successful man in many respects and someone who understands the true cost untreated mental illness. Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Thami Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Khaya Dlanga

Feminism and recent social justice discourse has made some significant changes in ensuring and enforcing the rights of women in broader society, divesting gender from the roles we traditionally view through a gendered lens. However, this does may not always reflect in women’s intimate relationships with men, varying standards may also leave men seeking to reform their interface with women unclear about what is expected of them in intimate relationships with women. We have invited 3 women for a no holds barred conversation about what women expect from the men in their lives. Welcome to Busi Mkhumbuzi-Pooe, Candice Chirwa and Cassandra Moodley. We won’t be participants in this discussion. We are here to take direction, and to understand a range of perspectives that aren’t our own. Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Thami Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Busi Mkhumbuzi Pooe Candice Chirwa Cassandra Moodley

In many instances, the most honest relationships men have are with their friends, our friends know our secrets when our partners and families don’t, our friends know the things we feel to ashamed to share with anyone else and in some instances we are more readily vulnerable with our friends than other significant people in our lives. However despite this, relationships and friendships between men also present strong limitations and restrictions on what we broadly understand to be intimacy.Music ByOneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE Hosts Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/ Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/ Boikanyo Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/ Guest(s)None 

While toxic masculinity is widely understood to be a social reality that affords men privileges and benefits, it is also true that that privilege is sometimes conditional or imposes unreasonable expectations and conditions that most men simply cannot live up to. In this episode we are going to unpack what is expected of men in the context of budding and established romantic relationships and how these expectations are to be managed while in a place of career, professional or financial uncertainty. Our guest today is Itumeleng Merafe, an established professional now but someone who’s known uncertainty and has loved while adulting. Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Boikanyo Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Itumeleng Merafe

In this episode, we look at the ways in which socio-political consciousness or “wokeness” alienates the majority of people in South Africa. In particular, we look at the language that is used when addressing issues such as patriarchy, xenophobia and racism. At the core of this discussion is looking at how classist wokeness can be and how messages can end up not getting across. Our guest in this episode is Lesego Mahlangu, who has navigated the university space along with her own background to try and understand how the activism she is exposed to at university, tangibly helps the issues everyday South Africans have to face. Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Boikanyo Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Lesego Mahlangu

In this episode, we aim to unpack how mental health in men, especially when left unchecked, leads to the detriment of women. From abusive partners to negligent family members and even toxic friends, we aim to hear from women how they and other women around them have had to bear the brunt of men not taking care of themselves. Kelebogile Mojanaga is back to give her professional insights. Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Boikanyo Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Kelebogile Mojanaga

In this episode we aim to unpack mental health in our own generation of men. Armed with the language to describe what we are going through and why that should be identified as “Mental Health Issues”, we want to look at the ways in which men from different backgrounds, but who all fall into the millennial generation, often express mental health issues through vices such as alcohol, drug use, toxic relationships and unhealthy consumption of pop culture. In this episode we speak to professional psychologist Lebogang Mojanaga who will speak about the trend of men seeking mental health help and how young men seem to be taking more initiative. Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Boikanyo Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Kelebogile Mojanaga

On the surface, from afar, there may be something to be admired about school-based fraternal bonds. These institutions taut admirable virtues such as brotherhood, loyalty, community, unity. Again, from a distance, this looks good. But if you pull back the curtain, you find a cesspool hyper masculine, borderline animalistic behaviour that leaves at its trail severe long-lasting traumas. Behind every utterance of the phrase “boys will be boys'' is a male victim whose dignity was sacrificed for the benefit of a brand of manhood that’s exaggerated and unattainable. All of these curses of patriarchy reign supreme in schools. Today, this is what we discuss- toxic masculinity in schools. In 2017 news broke out that the (22 year old) water-polo coach at Park Town Boys High School was physically and sexually abusing some of his students for a protracted period of time. During the media storm that followed this matter, the old recurring theme of savage masculinity in all-boys schools surfaced. More shocking stories of physical and sexual abuse, bullying, hazing and more frighteningly, silence emerged. It’s been under the auspices of silence that this culture thrived, reflective of the non-verbal patriarchal pact that we men fellowship over. Today, we pull the curtain back as wide as we can, to explore this issue. We’re joined today by our friends Josh Ndlangamandla (who’ll be giving us the all-male university residence experience) and Thato Mokoena, who’ll be unpacking it from the school side of things. Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Boikanyo Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Josh Ndlangamandla Thato Mokoena

In South Africa, about 49% of all female homicides are perpetrated by their spouses. This means that of every woman that was murdered in South Africa, almost half of them were killed by their boyfriends/husbands. But again the issue is not only about the murder of women (which is the most pressing social problem in our communities today), it’s about the jealousy, the abuse, the insecurities, the entitlement and all the toxic traits that men uniquely bring into a relationship that have a common tendency to endanger the lives of the women they claim to love. Today we talk about being a spouse, a lover, a partner. How do we get this right?  Tshegofatso Pule, Karabo Mokoena, Reeva Steenkamp, Kgaugelo Tshauwane are women who all suffered the same fate- being murdered by their spouses. Murder, though all-too common in South Africa, is the ultimate crime but it is symptomatic of deep seated problematic patriarchal norms in our society. We unpack them, specifically with regards to relationships. What toxic traits do men bring into relationships ordinarily? What do men feel like they’re entitled to? Why are the people who are closest to men in active physical danger? All of these questions we ask to boyfriends.  In this episode, we invited Busi Mkhumbuzi Pooe (who’s married to Thami) and Dr Tumelo Mashatola (who’s dating Tumi) to unpack and share their experiences in dating these gents.  Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Boikanyo Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Tumelo Mashatola Busi Mkhumbuzi Pooe

It is one thing to have your view of manhood influenced by your father, it’s another altogether to have it influenced by your older brother. Siblings have a stronger influence on each other by virtue of proximity. The power of role modelling is magnified by proximity and usually no one is a greater role model to a boy than their older brother. In as much as our siblings can learn great things from us, they can model toxic behaviours from us as well, especially when it comes to the question of manhood which is intricately linked to identity. In this episode we tackle the literal notion of brotherhood. How do our brothers help or harm our conception of manhood? Sticking to our tradition of keeping it intimate, we invited all of our little brothers to recount their experiences of us. Music By OneTone (Soulful Old School Hip Hop Instrumental [Free Download])– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bepsKUEALlE  Hosts  Bongani Frank Masilela- https://www.linkedin.com/in/bongani-frank-masilela-479421119/  Boitumelo Mpakanyane- https://www.linkedin.com/in/boitumelo-mpakanyane-69b319137/  Boikanyo Pooe- https://www.linkedin.com/in/thami-pooe/  Guest(s) Nolo Mpakanyane Katlego Pooe Thabo Masilela