I know, I know, you can't go to the bar. I know you're held down there. Well, shut up now, my friend, and please open up your one and only MacAdam's Beer Mobile Kit, which will allow you to enjoy both the beer and the atmosphere of Jefferson Avenue Waystation from the slovenly comfort of your own domicile. This kit includes: - 20 oz. aluminum tube full of carbon-pack MacAdam's beer - Brass fitting for beer dispensing - Plastic MacAdam's branded cup wrapped in 70's newsprint - Flashdrive containing voice recording and text transcript

Oh, how lovely, a customer. Oh, do come in. Oh my, you should absolutely get yourself a drink. Topics covered: helpful garbage, the rude grocer, the cohesive subject, the disruptions, taxonomy, the traveling linguist, killing unnecessary businesses, unethical business lures

Stride in! Bring your bulk into this pub! Love this beer, since I really love it. Topics covered: MacAdam revisited, the isthmus between beings, unoriginal axioms

Topics covered: always check the name, beer aerosol,

Come in. Drink. Give me your company and friends. I need, I need. Do you need? Topics covered: the very distant doppelgänger, the gruesome jaw, take in the brown atmosphere, dissolved CO2, the head injury, the importance and menace of imagination, the slovenly nature of living creatures, the excess of vocabulary, the irreversible flow of beer, the Rubayyat, vindication of the problem, existing in spite of absence

In! In with ye! Set yerself to ye shanks, dog, and clap ye lips to this brown foeter. Thou hast a deep thirst, aye. Topics covered: in it to win it, the certificate of payment, ancient Laputians, JP Sartre, vicarious enjoyment of disgusting things, sapient arachnids, Mulholland Dr revenant, gorilla suit

Well! I'd like to thank you for... coming by the... uhhh... Jefferson Avenue Waystation. It's a pub we have here and we serve all stouts. Topics covered: with all five senses, the beauty of secular life, the egg of MacAdam's, the creature that knows the truth,

Did you see my sign? I'm glad you saw my sign. Now you may sit before me and sip on MacAdam's beer. Repose, imbibe, and decline the urge to leave. Topics covered: the night shift, the concern for miscreants, the ubiquity of generosity, the myth of brain sound, the coming renaissance of tile caulking, it can only be done once, practice, the virtue of reticence in bad people

Hey you, hey fella. Step in to this little overhang of a pub. Sip on this near-fluid. We shall be as one, not special at all but deserving of love. Topic covered: your treasured community, the trucker's thirst, the glass bottom and the dove, the lovesick harbinger, the bad cure, we suffer for Mrs. Karplinksky, the ambient sounds of the pub

Quit your jittering now and take a seat on this high stool. You've been convicted of drought and dreariness, and your punishment is MacAdam's beer. Topics covered: the brown motif, leaving the party alone, the equalization of beer, the misery of pizza, the curse witch's decline, the bandit brewers, an excess of allusions, please pay for your beer