The final episode, is Costs involved in my family building. I worked for 15 years in London before being able to start my surrogacy process. My ex-husband was paying for the renovation of our home, so I took it upon myself to pay for the IVF and surrogacy, and we both agreed on that. I always wanted to end up with more than 1 child and we decided to have twins as I could not afford to go through the surrogacy process twice. We still managed to enjoy life. However, there were moments when it was hard, witnessing people close to me, getting pregnant naturally. Of course, I was thrilled to see the pregnancies happening, and yet I was gutted. I was very aware of how long it had taken to get to that point. And I wasn't going to spend, just to spend. I had to find a way to justify what was non-negotiable, what was a waste, and what was an investment?

As 2 gay men, having a family through surrogacy. I wanted a guarantee. When the children were born, I will be recognised as their parents and I will be able to return home without any complications. Although with this protection and guarantee, came at a price. When I chose my IVF clinic, they offered for me to make 1 payment that covered all the medical fees for the process.

The IVF clinic fees included:

The sperm testing.

Egg donor screening.

Her injectable hormones.

The egg retrieval, and embryo creation.

It also included the surrogate screening.

Medications needed to prepare her uterus.

And the embryo transfers until she got pregnant.

Now, I'm going to tell you what the IVF clinic fees did not include: Did not include the compensation for either the egg donor or Surrogate.

Testing on the embryos for sex selection, which would have been an extra $4,000 to do. 

I try to find a way to save on this part of the process. But with how complex this all felt to me. I thought that the best option would be to go for the fixed price to remove any anxiety.  

Knowing that it was all taken care of and I could just focus on the process. The final cost was about 25% higher than their pay as you go program and it costs me $53,000.

Unlike with the clinic, the surrogacy agency did not allow for a fixed price program. This part was where I should have paid more attention.

The surrogacy agency told me to expect to pay about $125,000.

In my head, I thought that amount included the surrogacy agency and the IVF clinic fees. But the reality was this $125,000. I was just for the agency fees, the surrogate compensation, and health insurance, and it also included all the legal fees. 

To recap these confusing numbers. The IVF Clinic fees: $53,000.

The Surrogacy Agency and Non IVF Clinic fees: $145,000.

Total amount, under $200,000. 

I paid any bills with my credit card as it gave me air miles. That I then collected to be able to fly to the us for the 20 week scan. 

My ex had an ex that owned a house in Sedona, Arizona. Yup. Let me repeat that. My ex had an ex who had a house that we stayed in. Yeah. Sedona is close to where the babies were born and we stayed in his house for a month. This was an expense that I had not budgeted for. As I was told, we were staying there for free. But we actually ended up paying $12,000 in cash for it. But it needed to be done as we needed a place to live whilst we were in the U.S. And so we flew back to the UK.

A tip for me. Just use Airbnb. 

So there you have it.

Thank you for listening to my story from start to finish of having twins born via IVF and surrogacy in the United States. Every surrogacy story will be different yet the process remains roughly the same. Our aim through @IVFDADDIES is that after listening to series one, You can ask specific questions to better understand how to make this process work for you. This is your family and it must be the best process for you. We really hope that we've inspired you to take the leap into having a family through IVF and surrogacy. Remember, you can always reach out to us, and Thank you.