If I look back at 2011 when I started my family building journey, I really do not remember what the catalyst was in changing from a life with no children to wanting to be a father, but it felt right then and it feels even better today. This is my account of the decisions that happened along the way.

I have structured this so that you gain unbiased information at each step. That way you can make right decisions for you at each junction in the road to parenthood. After all, this is your family and you should be able to make it in a way that works best for you. A little bit of terminology now.

Intended parents, or IPs, is the wording used for anyone that intends at some stage to become a parent through the surrogacy process. Thanks. Within the surrogacy world, there are two different types of surrogacy journey that you could pursue. Traditional surrogacy or gestational surrogacy. In traditional surrogacy, the woman carrying the baby is also the woman that provided the egg.

I did not want to do this as I wanted to make sure that there was a clear delineation between us and that the child was always considered mine. In gestational surrogacy, the woman carrying the baby has no genetic link to the baby, and this is the option that I went with. Once you have decided on which type of surrogacy journey is right for you, the next decision will be about in which jurisdiction you will undertake the actual process.

There are various countries in which surrogacy is allowed. and each has a different legal and cost implication. In the United Kingdom, no third party is allowed to make money from a surrogacy arrangement, and so there are no commercial surrogacy agencies, only a limited amount of not for profit organizations.

Also, Neither surrogates nor intended parents are allowed to advertise that they want to go through a surrogacy journey. Another factor that made me uncomfortable is that in the UK, birth mothers have the right to change their mind about giving up a child up to six weeks post birth. This gave me anxiety.

As I had heard of a couple who had a gestational surrogate, remember, there is no genetic relationship with the surrogate. And after the birth, the surrogate decided that she wanted to keep the baby. The couple then had to pay child support, because under UK law, the birth mother had legal rights. In my opinion, the United States is the global benchmark and gold standard for surrogacy, as all parties are legally represented And there is a tried and tested legal framework that protects all of the people within the process.

All parties must have had a psychological assessment, which is a very important ethical aspect for me, because I knew that at every step of the way both the egg donor and the surrogate were empowered to stop the process if they wanted to. I chose to work with a surrogate in the United States. Questions to ask at this point.

If surrogacy is for you, will you pursue a traditional or a gestational surrogacy? In which jurisdiction will you proceed?