okay folks this is the "official" last episode of the verbal judo series. However, as i was recording these episodes i realized that there were three other smaller techniques that i wanted to cover but they didn't warrant episodes on their own. And i don't like doing an even numbered series so no episode 8! However, if you want this off the books episode, if you join my mailing list at Developing Leaders I will send it to you. All you need do is send me an email at [email protected] with off the books VJ episode in the subject line. I will take care of the rest!

Continuing our series on verbal judo, today we discuss the idea of abstracting up. Language is funny. There is concrete tangible language (words like dog, sidewalk, tree, table) and then there are these words that are abstract more idea or category based (canine, walking routes, forest, furniture). Where you can picture the first category of words in your mind easily, the second not so much or at least less so. Knowing the difference here is incredibly helpful when you face a problem in a conversation where you reach an impasse or roadblock. Often it feels impossible to solve the problem, navigate the conversation. However, if we learn to move up a level of abstraction, we gain the ability to engage with a wider conversational field. This wider field is still talking about the very same topic, it just offers us the ability to find new ways to navigate the conversation.

Here we are at part 5 in our series on verbal judo. Today change the tense. This will be a familiar topic for long time listeners as it was featured in the influence series back in July of 2022. But this cast goes a bit deeper into application. We cover more on when this technique is helpful and how to use it effectively to gain the space to navigate a difficult conversation.

Communication might seem simple, but the simplicity on the far side of complexity is my favorite. Simple unaware communication (or communication on the ignorant side of complexity), leads to less than outcomes. When we learn to understand how communication works, notice what is going on then have the skills needed to mold and shape it, we can create optimal outcomes. That is the heart of the argument behind the power of this weeks cast. Changing the frame is a powerful approach to guiding and shaping a conversation. Knowing how to do this requires a significant awareness and the ability to be conversationally flexible. Frames set the boundaries of a conversation. Recognize that once it is set, it becomes challenging to change it. In this cast we examine when and how to change or reset the fame.

In part 3 we explore how introducing process can not only save time and aggravation, it can provide you the ability to influence the effectiveness of the people and groups you interact with. This technique done well requires preparation as it is a highly proactive approach to communication. Trust me practice it and you will see a significant benefit in your group interactions

In our continuing series on verbal judo, this week we examine how to leverage we, us, and our to connect ourselves with another person in conversation. This simple subtle technique will help position your language as a collaboration rather than a confrontation and is incredibly powerful. Fortunately it is also very easy to practice and see results quickly

In this first cast of a new series, I was inspired by a recent project with a client in Oklahoma who wanted to know how to be more effective in communicating with their employees. This cast we start with common ground, a critical component of all conversations. When common ground exists we have a shared place to stand to begin building future agreement. Without common ground conflict is almost inevitable. In many conversations, this technique alone can work wonders on influencing the other person to come to an agreement. I won't get into the psychology of why but suffice it to say this is an influence superpower when mastered.

This cast is the second in a two part series on the peculiarities that employees sometimes use to avoid responsibility. Last week we looked at the Somebody syndrome, today the "they". You know what i'm talking about when a decision gets made and the employees grumble about it, they don't say executive John Doe made a stupid decision, no its "they" made a stupid decision here. It's as if by not mentioning the leaders name they can criticize without consequence. It reminds me of how Ricky Bobby in the movie Talladega Nights used the phrase, "with all due respect". We explore the reasoning behind this habit and how to address it in your organization.

In this episode I break down a fun concept called "somebody syndrome". This comes from a current client who shared this in a recent training class. Thanks "J" from AZ! I loved the idea and realized immediately that i needed to do a podcast on it. Here we explain what somebody syndrome is and then how to build an organizational cultural approach to overcoming it. Employees often have an approach to othering that creates challenges and underperformance. Our goal as operational leaders is to ensure that everyone is moving toward not just identifying how to maintain and improve performance but taking ownership of their part of this process. Next week we will cover the cousin of somebody syndrome, "The They".

this is the final cast in our series on contextual leadership leveraging the STARS model from Michael Watkins book The First 90 Days. If you haven't picked up a copy and read it, I highly recommend you do so! In this module we will examine what by all accounts may be the easiest leadership context Sustain Success. Here we have been promoted into a leadership position, replacing someone who has been successful in the role. We examine how to consider the context of the role and in doing so consider how to stand out positively to your team and not disrespect your predecessor. We look at the culture, the leadership style and the controls needed to master this important context.