It's been entirely too long since we've been able to regale you with a tale of any true consequence. But don't worry- we have a cunning plan to tell you all about one of the United Kingdom's top sitcoms of all time. It may just take a few generations for the full effect to kick in.

Deep in the heart of the Windy City, one of the most surprisingly prolific authors and illustrators of all time amassed his work in secret. It may not be the best way to get established in the arts, but it's a hell of a topic for conversation.

Listeners, it has recently come to our attention that some of you may have recently been partaking in certain substances that have been tied to nothing more than violence, corruption, and debauchery. And while violence, corruption, and debauchery are some of the many things we specialize in, we here at It's Symbolic cannot stand idly by while good citizens fall by the wayside. Sit down as we tell you this absolutely true tale of things that definitely happened, and maybe you'll think twice before throwing your life away like that.

Buckle up, prepare for takeoff, and please no smoking, because we've got a collection of It's Symbolic favorites in the manliest work we've ever covered. We've got the only weapons on board, and by god if any of you starts an uprising we're taking the whole plane down with us. You'll find a complimentary bunny in your backseat pocket.

Tonight's episode: The Wrong Title. Our name is It's Symbolic, a special detail of the podcasting world. We were across town when we learned we were supposed to be recording the 1982 parody police procedural, Police Squad! Our boss was already on the scene.

Warning: prolonged exposure to Polybius can cause headaches, blurry vision, loss of memory, insomnia, small fires, night terrors, and questioning the validity of one's perception of reality. We managed to take the whole brunt of it, but using the proper safety precautions is advised.

Settle down class- we're covering some important material today. We all need to brush up on our math skills from time to time, and our amphibious instructor has presented us with the best way to figure things out, whether it's a refresher or your first time. We all need to know about fractions, after all.

Why have you disturbed our sleep? This week, we're rising from the grave to bring you the details about the little independent that could, with the genesis of one of our favorite franchises. That's what you get when you read a book with a face, we suppose. Just remember not to go into the woods.

There's a hex on our podcast, one that's caused our lives to become very surreal and full of weird animal people. We keep falling down these time holes. If you listen to the episode, maybe you can help us break it.

So, you pressed the button, and it brought you here. The last button led to an explosion, the button before that caused you to have a vision of an angel, the button before that made green slime appear everywhere, and the first one you tried had dogs. So what now? Needless to say, we're not really sure what's going on either.