I DON'T GOT THIS
I DON'T GOT THIS
Emily Journey
I DON'T GOT THIS is a moving account of life with a schizophrenic mom and the author's recovery from alcoholism. Emily Journey tells her story with compassion, humor, and a sense of self-discovery. A wonderful revelatory memoir of personal struggles with mental illness and alcoholism. Emily is an only child from Phoenix who has no family besides her mother. That is until she turns nine, when she finds out her mom has a sister, an ex-husband, and four other children she left behind in Columbus, Ohio. Through dozens of moves— first from apartment to apartment in Phoenix and then back to Columbus—Emily learns how to live with a mother who is much more than eccentric: a mother who begs her not to get into any white Cadillacs with strange men; who quits jobs for mysterious reasons; who is sure the neighbors are opening her mail and sneaking into the apartment when she’s not at home. (Then again, sometimes the neighbors are trying to get in.) At 18, Emily can’t move out soon enough. But once she does, she struggles well into adulthood with marriage, divorce, money, motherhood, and alcoholism. The beginning of her road to freedom finally finds her, once she admits, I don't got this.
13: It really did matter | I Don’t Got This
One day at a time. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Thank you Maggie Frank-Hsu for your commitment and unflagging enthusiasm for this project. This book would not have been written without your artful mastery of the writing process. To Adam Knolls for witnessing my process, reflecting with me, and making space for my voice. You are in this book even though you are not in this book. To Michelle Neubauer for showing up for me without fail like the sister I had always wished for. To Roy and Eloise Tefertiller for saying yes and accepting me as family. To librarians for introducing me to new worlds and bringing me hope for my future. To Fred Rogers for singing and talking to me when I was lonely. To the cast of Sesame Street 1973 to 1978 for singing with me and showing me examples of support and friendship. To my friends for helping me understand what it means to be a friend by example. Everyone who has been my family past and present. To the team at Vital Companies: Fred Blitzer, Lillian Clifton, and Jason Clayton for their support producing this podcast.
May 13, 2022
13 min
12: Fellowship Hall | I Don’t Got This
"I didn't have to figure anything out." I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 12, 2022
6 min
11: Letting Go | I Don’t Got This
Emily had tried one thing after another in her attempt to manage her relationships. She didn't want to admit defeat. Much more urgently, she didn't want to be alone. But, she wasn't admitting anything. She was just, for the first time, seeing what was in front of her. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 11, 2022
18 min
10: “You’re gonna be mad at me” | I Don’t Got This
Throughout 2014 Emily focused on building her new business and not drinking, while Chlotene had been more severely losing touch with reality. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 10, 2022
21 min
9: Denial for Two | I Don’t Got This
After attending only a few AA meetings, Emily could no longer deny that alcohol was a problem for her. But, she didn't want to accept this new identity of alcoholic. After months of abstaining from alcohol, Emily was still living on the edge. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 9, 2022
16 min
8: Becoming an Alcoholic | I Don’t Got This
Emily needed to drink but she didn't think she needed to drink. In chapter 8 of I DON'T GOT THIS, Emily repeatedly chooses alcohol over the difficult work of facing the shame she felt over leaving her family. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 8, 2022
18 min
7: The Charade | I Don’t Got This
After 15 years of marriage, a master's degree in social work, and a continued fight with the catholic church, Emily was still looking to do work that made a difference. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 7, 2022
27 min
6: Schizophrenia | I Don’t Got This
In Chapter six of I DON'T GOT THIS, Emily works towards her master's degree in clinical social work. But, the work hits too close to home as she studies the DSM-IV and the diagnosis of schizophrenia. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 6, 2022
16 min
5: Tim | I Don’t Got This
Emily finds her way out when she turns 18 and becomes engaged to Tim. In Chapter five of I DON'T GOT THIS, Emily lays her hopes on marriage and her vision of a Catholic family. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 5, 2022
26 min
4: Theresa | I Don’t Got This
By 1979, a whole family had appeared—siblings, cousins, an aunt, an uncle—but it wasn't the insta-family Emily hoped she would get. In chapter four of I Don't Got This, Emily finds a letter from Theresa. I DON'T GOT THIS: Adventures in Schizophrenia and Alcoholism by Emily Journey Available in paperback and ebook editions through booksellers everywhere.
May 4, 2022
8 min
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