How do you get over someone you had an affair with for years, especially when part of you still believes you should have left your marriage for them? If you've been stuck for months or even years, replaying what happened, regretting your decisions, checking for contact, or begging your ex to take you back, this episode is for you. I'm answering a listener's deeply personal question about getting over a long-term affair partner, and we're going straight into the parts of this kind of breakup that can make it feel impossible to let go. There's a reason these relationships can be so hard to detach from, and getting back to the person you were before the affair isn't as simple as "just stop thinking about him." I'm walking through what I would actually work on with you if we were sitting together in a coaching session, including one counterintuitive thing you can do today that may finally start loosening the grip this person has on your mind. Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/  Submit a Question for the Podcast: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/podcastquestion/ 

There's a part of you that knows you're supposed to learn to love yourself, take care of yourself, and build a life you love after a breakup… but what if you don't WANT to do all of that? What if, underneath all the "I'm independent and I can do it myself" advice, you're actually thinking, "I don't want to take care of myself. I want someone to take care of ME." I get it. I've felt that way, and in this episode I'm sharing a personal story that completely changed the way I think about what we're actually doing when we learn to take care of ourselves after heartbreak. I teach how to do this work in a way that leads to you being taken care of by OTHERS not just yourself. The Beyond Your Breakup Membership is now OPEN: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ Submit a Question for the Podcast: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/podcastquestion/ 

If you've been wondering "What is actually the best way to get over my ex and build a bigger, better life?" I want to make this really simple for you. I've realized I haven't been nearly direct enough about the new way you can work with me, and after getting question after question from listeners, I knew I needed to explain exactly what I created and who it's for. In this episode, I'm breaking down the Beyond Your Breakup Membership and why I designed it differently from anything I've offered before. Whether you're secretly hoping your ex comes back, still obsessing even though you know he isn't right for you, feeling guilty about leaving, trying to repair a marriage after an affair, mostly over your ex but stuck in the final stretch, or completely ready to stop talking about your breakup and start building the life you actually want, there's a reason I believe this is the place to do that work. I'll explain the two steps we're focused on, what makes this different from my original Get Over Your Ex program, and what it actually looks like to have ongoing coaching, support, community, and access to my entire body of work while you build what comes next. If you've been waiting for a sign that there's a more direct way to do this work with me, listen to this episode. Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ 

If you know you don't want your old relationship back but still can't get excited about what comes next, there's a reason: your brain is much more comfortable with what it already knows than a future it has never experienced. Your ex, your old routines, and the life you built together are familiar, while dating again, becoming someone new, or creating a bigger and better life can feel vague, risky, or completely impossible to picture. In this episode, we're getting into the neuroscience behind manifestation and why your brain can actually reject the very things you say you want simply because they're unfamiliar. I'll share some of the ways I've learned to make a future feel more familiar before it arrives, including an exercise that completely changed how one woman thought about what she was trying to create. We'll also talk about why you don't have to make yourself miserable about not having what you want in order to go after it. If you're ready to stop letting your brain default to the life you already know and start creating evidence that a different life is possible, you're going to want to hear this one. Join the NEW Beyond Your Breakup Membership – https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ 

There's a stretch before the comeback even starts that this episode names! The part where you already half-know something's wrong, but you keep it quiet, keep functioning, keep telling yourself it's fine, sometimes for a year or two before the truth actually lands. In this episode, Lindsey Mango joins Dorothy to talk about that exact stretch: the discomfort of sitting on a truth you're not ready to act on yet, and why for her, once that awareness finally clicks, there's no slow unwind — she moves, fast and completely. But what makes this conversation different is what Lindsey does with that turning point once it hits: instead of staying in the wreckage, she has a genuine gift for finding the version of the story that lifts you back up, and she gets specific about how she does it. If you've been sitting in that quiet, unresolved knowing and wondering when it's finally going to move you to act, this conversation shows you both sides of it — the waiting, and the way out that actually feels good. Learn more about Lindsey Mango: Instagram: @lindseymango_ Website: https://lindseymangocoaching.com/  Mango Magic Audio Drops: https://lindseymangocoaching.mykajabi.com/a/2148299474/mcDiUVhh  

Why does your breakup feel SO much worse when you're exhausted, burnt out, sick, or running on barely any sleep? You might see one post from your ex, run into him in public, or have one bad interaction and suddenly you're spiraling—questioning everything, obsessing over what he's doing, and wondering why you can't seem to get over him. But what if the problem isn't that you suddenly miss him more? What if your biology is making your breakup feel harder than it actually is? In this episode, I'm breaking down what happens when you try to process heartbreak from a depleted body and why you cannot always trust the thoughts your brain is handing you when you're sick, sleep-deprived, or burnt out. I'll also share the personal protocol I use when I know my body and mind are running on empty—including what I do physically, what I refuse to do mentally, and the rules I follow until I'm back to baseline. This completely changed how I handle those moments when everything feels harder than it should and I think you're going to want to make your own version of it. The NEW Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup 

Most comeback stories start with something breaking — a breakup, a diagnosis, a rug pulled out from under you. But there's a much quieter, harder version: choosing to walk into a comeback when nothing forced your hand. No crisis giving you permission, no one around you validating the hard part, no urgency pulling you forward — just you, deciding to become someone different on purpose. In this episode, Whitney Uland joins Dorothy to unpack why a self-chosen reinvention can feel so much slower and more disorienting than one you were thrust into, even though it's supposedly the "easier" version. Whitney gets specific about what's actually missing when you're building a comeback nobody's making you have, and what she's found that works in its place. If you've ever felt stuck wondering why you can't just decide to change when nothing's technically wrong, this conversation names exactly what's happening — and gives you something to do with it besides waiting for a crisis to make the decision for you. Learn more about Whitney Uland: Instagram: @whitneyuland Website: https://www.howtobefamous.org/    

What if your ultimate comeback isn't about becoming a completely new person after heartbreak—but finally becoming the most you you've ever been? After spending seven episodes talking to women who rebuilt their lives after some of the hardest experiences imaginable, I wanted to step back and ask: what actually makes a comeback happen? In this episode, I break down what I've learned from the entire Ultimate Comeback Series and the specific steps I believe take you from the ashes of heartbreak to a life that feels completely different from the one you had before. We'll talk about the part of a comeback that happens before you change anything externally, how to know what you're no longer available for, how to reconnect with the parts of yourself you've buried under other people's expectations, and why your bigger and better life may have less to do with "becoming better" and more to do with coming home to yourself. If you're wondering what your comeback is supposed to look like—or you know you're ready for something bigger but don't know where to start—this is the episode to listen to. Join us inside the Get Over Your Ex monthly membership (starting at $297 a month): https://dorothyabjohnson.com/getoveryourex/ 

There's a specific kind of stuck that isn't about not knowing — you already know something's wrong. What keeps you frozen is the math of what leaving would cost: the people, the identity, the life you've built around the thing that isn't working anymore. In this episode, Leah Brathwaite talks with Dorothy about the years she spent doing exactly that — staying inside a life, a marriage, and a belief system she'd quietly stopped believing in, because the alternative felt like losing everything and everyone at once. She walks through what it actually took to move from "I know this isn't it" to acting on it, including the moment a single sentence became louder than her fear of the fallout, and why the year she was most terrified of turned out to be nothing like she'd built it up to be in her head. If you've ever known the truth about your situation and stayed anyway because the unknown felt scarier than the misery, this conversation gets specific about what's actually on the other side of that decision. Learn more about Leah Brathwaite: Instagram: @leah.brathwaite 1:1: https://www.thelivefreelifestyle.ca/40-days-of-devotion-the-heart-1-1  Free Soul Collective: https://www.thelivefreelifestyle.ca/free-soul-collective  A new way of life: https://www.amazon.com/New-Way-Life-Transformation-Freeing/dp/199903550X 

Have you figured out that your ex is avoidant… only to find yourself thinking about them even more? Maybe you're researching whether avoidants come back, when they start missing an ex, whether no contact works on an avoidant, or what their attachment style says about why they left. Understanding your ex can feel productive, but if every answer leads to another question, the research may actually be keeping you stuck in the breakup instead of helping you get over it. In this episode, I'm showing you how to tell when understanding your ex has crossed over into rumination—and giving you two practical tools to stop using information about your ex to stay attached to them and start using what you know to create actual change for you. Book your free consultation call with Dorothy: www.lifecoachdorothy.com