Jill came for Alex and Simon in the press and said that they drink too much. Bethenny started to rise in success, Bethenny and Ramona grew sick of what a snob Luann was. 

Kelly vs Bethenny did this is you, this is me. Ramona told Luann her husband was twice her age. 

Everyone turned on Kelly. Normally someone like Kelly would’ve been fired by this point because she makes no sense and no one likes her. This was back in the era when we didnt need deep friendships 

TAGLINES: 

Alex: To a certain group of people in New York, status is everything. 

Luann: I never feel guilty about being privileged. 

Bethenny: NYC is my playground. 

Jill: I run with a fabulous circle of people. 

Ramona: I like making my own money. I find that an aphrodysiac. 

Kelly: I’ve created a great life and I love living it. 

Jill and Luann walk up to the boat. Jill rambling about how the key to a good party is good food. 

Ramona greets them with a new haircut: Hey ladies, thank you for joining me on my yacht! Jill: Don’t you wish, doesn’t she wish?! I think Ramona truly wanted to pretend for the cameras that it was her yacht but they blew it. 

Ramona shows off her haircut and is SUPER hyper. Jill asks what Ramona did. Ramona said she gained 5 pounds. Jill think she’s too blonde. Jill thinks Ramona is too old to be wearing a bikini. “Ramona, cover up honestly!” Ramona says she’s been renewing herself. HERE IT ISSSSS the first of many renewals! 

Alex awkwardly comes onto the boat, Ramona wants to start fresh with her. Ramona says, “Don’t you think I maybe look like an older version of Cameron Diaz?” You’re not supposed to say that about yourself! 

The boat sets sale. Ramona puts out her rings and shows off her HSN collection. Jill is put off. Ramona is psychotic with her businesses, but also, it’s not THAT crazy to bring out her rings. I think Jill is jealous that she has nothing going on. What is she gonna bring fabric swatches? I brought a bag of zaarin faaaabric. 

Jill tells Joni, Ramona’s friend, that if it were her she would give everyone a ring to pick out. That’s such a LIE Jill! Jill says she’s cheap. Joanie: Actually, last night Ramona ordered her own check at dinner. Joanie!! You’re supposed to be Ramona’s friend! 

Ramona tells everyone she chose not to invite Bethenny because Jill and Bethenny haven’t been getting along. I have sooo many questions… this must’ve been a production thing to shoot them separately, but what would’ve happened if they had met up on this boat out of the gate? There are so many missed opportunities and if onlies to follow with this Bethenny and Jill storyline. 

Jill explains her side of things. They’re not enemies, butJill talks about the voicemail that Bethenny left that Jill needs to find a hobby. Jill: You know what, I did find a hobby, and it wasn’t hanging out with her. Ooooh boy we’re going to hear this nonstop from Jill, just wait! Jill said she had to cut her out like cancer. 

This is a new Bethenny! 

Bethenny talks about her new relationship with Jason. She sends him a picture from her shoot. 

Luann tells Ramona that she’s the best at a party because she will be the first one to swim naked in your pool. Luann tells Ramona it’s an ‘expression’ to mean that Ramona is the most fun one at a party. I don’t think that’s an expression… 

Luann brings up what Mario said about her. At a photoshoot before the season started, a photographer asked to get her attention by calling her countess, and Mario said, don’t you mean countless. BRUTAL! 

Ramona thinks he’s just being playful. Ok Ramona… 

Ramona says Mario recognized the fact that he hurt her. Jill from the side, “Why didn’t he call her?” Ramona: He doesn’t have her number. As if she couldn’t just give him Luann’s number… then Luann says she doesn’t feel comfortable coming to Ramona’s party. Ramona says that Luann is making a mountain out of a holemill. 

Jill breaks down why this comment was offensive and Ramona goes, “There are no titles in the US, let’s face it.” That’s what this is really about. Ramona and Mario probably talk shit about Luann constantly, and I’m sure Mario told her that there are no titles in the US. 

Ramona insists that Luann speak to Mario directly. They start arguing. 

Ramona feels ganged up on. Luann says he was also rude to Jill. Ramona says not the time not the place, I’m hosting a party, you’re being rude and classless countess. Ramona goes down to talk to her friends. 

We need a RHONY below deck crossover!!!! This just occurred to me. I doubt we could get them abck on a boat after caragena. 

Ramona flips out: They always gang up on me, I’m sick of it! Why do they do this to me?! I’m a nice person!! (Cries) Joanie comforts Ramona. PS Ramona… Joanie just talked about how you didn’t pick up a check last night. 

Ramona reveals that her father passed away 5 months ago. So this must’ve been around the time that he cut her out of the will and she found out, which surfaced this past season. Definitely gives us some insight into why she’s always on edge. 

Ramoan continues to cry: They just go after me all the time with their freakin KNIFES! I can’t take it! 

Joanie tells Ramona that Luann is classless. Her friends cheer her up. Ramona flips her switch and starts laughing. Luann comes down and Ramona is a differnet person now. “Luannnn I adore you! I do adore you! I was crying!” After all those women talked shit about her now they’re all toasting to a shot of tequila. 

Bethenny’s asisstant says that she has emails from Jill. Bethenny got offered a free trip to Turks and Caicos so she brought Jill. Jill was mad that Bethenny didn’t invite them. Bethenny said she hit the wall going 90 because all summer Jill had been like ‘why not me, why not me?” Jill was too grabby, and she and Jason hate grabby. I think Jill didn’t respect that Bethenny was in a honeymoon period and needed her space. I think also Jill didn’t like the change of not having Bethenny in her life anymore. We’ve all been there, where a friend that you spend so much time with has a new relationship, and you have to adjust to them not being around anymore. 

This turks incident is why she left the voicemail for Jill. 

Jason walks in. So innocent looking but creepy. Bethenny keeps calling him baby but it feels inauthentic. Bethenny is hyper. He got her golf clubs. “I hate stuff, I hate stuff, we have more stuff now!! “

Jason has an OTF on the couch. Jason has an issue with her being nude. I’m confused about Jason… she mentioned that she’s been with a famewhore before, yet he seems to conservative. Is it all fake? He carried it on for so many seasons. That’s some sociopathic shit. 

Bethenny and Jason are going to the hamptons. 

We’re coming off of Kelly’s ex pressing charges against her that she beat him up. That was so strange. Kelly is sitting in a sweater in the heat. Jill wants to give Kelly a chance… obviously just to replace Bethenny. 

Kelly talks about dating and how she’s not with Max anymore, and when she was married she was Rapunzel in a castle. She wants to be a robin to someone’s batman. Isn’t she a writer…? 

Jill says that Bobby had thyroid cancer and Bethenny hasn’t been there for her. Jill claims that Bethenny never confided in her about anything new that was happening for her. Jill jumps to you need to find a hobby. Jill says I found a hobby, and its not hanging out with you! #2! 

Jason awkwardly: You and Jill were so close and now there seems to be some tension there. 

Bethenny talks about how everything was about Jill and her family. She mentions how she hosted the today show and Jill called them and asked why it wasn’t her. Bethenny talked about Ramona said last season that she was the underdog. This conversation was amazig. But now Bethenny thinks she might have been right. 

Kelly talks about her court case being dismissed but she had to do community service but she phrases it as, ‘I got to work with a really amazing organization.” Jill: Did they pick that or did you? Kelly immediately: NO I DID. Jill talks about how Kelly only ever was surrounded by other models. She said “All she saw were a bunch of funny people running around.” Jill is such a mom I kind of love it. 

Kelly awkwardly transitions into Luann’s divorce. 

Jason and Bethenny pull up in her tiny VW shrinkwrapped with Skinnygirl. Bethenny tells us that she was supposed to meet up with Luann for drinks, but Luann called and cancelled but said she could do it if the drinks were near her. I so relate to this. Luann wanted this meeting on her own turf. 

Bethenny walks in and says I know its the middle of the day but I just drove two hours to get here. Luann: I know, it’s labor day weekend and its chaos out there! The streets were packed, that’s why you were late, so don’t even worry about it. THIS IS AMAZING. Bethenny is trying to start off by confronting Luann, but in Luann’s mind, this is an APOLOGY. Wow. 

Luann explains why she cancelled the day before, and Bethenny says I’m busy too I have a book due in 6 days. Ok Bethenny, we get it…. Bethenny: So how are you? Luann: I’m good. I just wanna ask, are you inviting me out to drinks, or are you going to say behind my back that I didn’t pay up? WOwwww this is a deep cut to early last season when Luann invited the girls out surfing and Bethenny remarked that she always has to pay for everything. Luann laughs super uncomfortably after she makes Bethenny feel uncomfortable. 

Bethenny is SHOCKED. I think when Luanns’ feelings are hurt she leans back on the countess thing. Bethenny starts shaking and Luann says deep breath, I’ve been doing yoga and meditation, it’s the best thing! Luann has no clue that bethenny is worked up over her. She literally amped her up and is like omg deep breath and meditation. 

Bethenny drags Luann and tells her that she gives out her number to random guys. This is exactly the nature of the fight they have in the berkshires so many years later. Bethenny can’t stand that luann can’t reconcile the two sides of her personality. 

Bethenny spins out of control when Luann says she doesn’t want bethenny to make comments behind her back. Bethenny says oh I won’t be saying htem behind your back anymore that’s for sure. I think what bethenny is actually saying is totally lost on luann. 

They soften the convo and talk about jason. Luann: I saw you pull up in that skinnygirl car. You drive that around town? Bethenny: if you can wear an hermes belt then I can do that. Luann: They’re not paying me to wear the hermes belt though. Bethenny: exactly you dumb drag queen. Wow that comment didnt age well…. 

They hug it out, but Bethenny in bite says that she needed a bath. Come on Bethenny, now THAT’S fake as hell. 

SEASON TRAILER: Luann records money can’t buy you class, Bethenny gets pregnant, Ramona’s runway walk, Ramona’s vow renewal. Ramona does turtle time. Ramona and Bethenny’s walk across the brooklyn bridge. Scary island. WE MEET SONJA.