In this episode, we’re talking with a survivor, Anwen, and the person who sexually assaulted her, Sameer, about going through a restorative justice process. Rarely do we hear stories about survivors finding a sense of accountability, let alone a friendship borne out of that process. We thought it was important to share this conversation on the podcast to provide a window into other ways sexual violence can be addressed.

Many of us hear the word “trauma” used. But what is trauma? How does it impact us? In this episode, we are joined by two brilliant mental health workers: Lisa and Nova Browning Rutherford, to understand trauma and how it affects us after sexual assault. With Lisa, we learn about how trauma shows up in our brains, bodies and nervous systems; with Nova, we talk about the impacts of trauma on our daily life. It’s a heady but gentle exploration of the impact of harm and how we can attend to it.

In this episode, we talk about pleasure, sexual intimacy and healing with samatha bitty. Sexual violence deeply impacts our relationship with our bodies, pleasure and other people. There is no one way to reclaim pleasure and intimacy after harm. Having safe(r), trauma-informed conversations can help us see possibilities we did not know existed. This episode is a reminder of our right as survivors to joy.

In this episode, we talk about attending to the impacts of trauma and exploring accessing a counsellor with Farzana Doctor. You get to determine how you want to heal. One of the tools that you can access is counselling. It can help you understand the impacts of harm, build an understanding of what trauma is and explore tools for care. Counselling can sometimes sound like a magic bullet however it is one tool of many. This episode reminds us of the importance of finding a counsellor that is a good fit for you and be prepared to do the work in counselling.

In this Healing Comes in Waves episode, we talk to lawyer Gillian Hnatiw and feminist academic Mandi Gray about accessing the criminal and civil legal system. Reporting to the police and going through the legal system is one of many options survivors can choose from. This episode is an opportunity to learn more about the legal process and decide what works for you. Remember: whatever choice you make, it’s your decision.

In this episode, we explore with advocate Glen Canning how parents can support their children when they disclose, the impacts of intergenerational trauma, check our own internal biases and discuss ways we can attend to our needs as child sexual abuse survivors. Glen is a survivor of child sexual abuse and the father of the late Rehtaeh Parsons. Rehtaeh was a powerhouse young woman who fought for a better world. She died by suicide on April 4th, 2013, following months of cyber abuse and victim blaming connected to the sexual violence she was subjected to.

Sometimes, the first person we need to tell that we were sexually assaulted is ourselves. Too often, we can convince ourselves that it wasn’t “so bad,” that we can “handle it” or that it was somehow our fault. All of these are not true. In this Healing Comes in Waves episode, we are talking to Chenthoori Malankov-Milton, Jaye Garcia and Eternity Martis about understanding what it means to be a survivor and how that is different for everybody.

Healing Comes in Waves is a podcast for survivors to explore healing after harm with host Farrah Khan. We’re so glad you are here.