Having It A.L.L.

This episode was inspired by a conversation I had with my father. Like many topics I cover in this podcast, my own life is the testing ground where I attempt to choose LOVE over FEAR, and share with you the things I've learned.  Today I'm talking about the importance of knowing what your center is - the lens through which you see the world and relationship that shapes your values, thoughts and behaviors.  There are many different centers you can have. You can be Spouse centered, Money centered, Family centered, Work centered, Possession centered, Pleasure centered, and more.  Each of these centers has a consequence. The person who is Spouse centered, for example, feels secure when their spouse treats them well, and insecure when they don't. The person who is Money centered derives their sense of self worth from their net work.  Each center carries with it a way of looking at and relating to the world.  As you can see by now, these centers are incredibly important because they shape how we see the world. Quick note: the centers I'm referring to come straight from Stephen Covey's book The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People.  In this podcast episode I share with you a consequence of being Family centered, and how relationships hinge on not only knowing your loved ones center, but also understanding how those centers shape how they perceive the world and how they prefer to be treated.  What you'll hear in this episode: A explanation of what it means to be Family centered The 5 Love Languages The importance of knowing not only your center and your Love Language, but that of the people closest to you STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The self improvement game is, many times, a public one. Spiritual, physical, mental and emotional self work can all be done in the open or with a group of people. And with group meditation and yoga and other similar things really taking off these days, one could buy into the idea that self improvement is a public act.  But there's something so much more important than the things we're DOING to improve our relationship to our selves, others and life, and that's who we're BEING.  I've talked about Doing vs Being on the podcast before, but today's topic takes it a degree further. Today I'm going in on the question: Who are you when no one is watching? So, I ask YOU -- when you're alone, in your secrecy, with no one watching and no one holding you accountable except for yourself, who are you? How do you treat yourself? What allowances do you give yourself? What language do you use to describe yourself and those around you? The way you answer those questions reveals more about your true state of being than other more outward displays of wellness.  It's said that you have between 40,000 - 60,000 thoughts per day. If you were to categorize each as a LOVING thought or FEARFUL thought, what would your ratio be? What you'll hear in this episode: How my secret self was exposed recently, and the consequences of my seeing the truth The self talk that contributes to us playing small The costs of not doing what you say you will do STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's podcast was inspired by an email I received from a listener. Her situation is something that I think many of us can relate to, and it has to do with RELATIONSHIPS. Situation: you're in a relationship, it ends for whatever reason, you feel hurt/betrayed/wronged, you do some soul searching, learn a few things about yourself, seek out and find a new relationship, get hurt/betrayed/wronged all over again, and wonder "Why this keeps on happening to me?". Sound familiar? I'm proposing that you don't need to do more soul searching, meditating, or any of that stuff. What you need to do is develop relationship standards where you get crystal clear on the type of person you will ALLOW into your life (or your bed!) and stick to your damn standards! The less than healthy relationships you have are due to a lack of accountability and STANDARDS around them. What you'll hear in this episode: Why creating relationship standards is only half of the equation How creating standards can help you manifest the person who will uphold those standards A simple process to get you started on creating your relationship standards   STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is all about FAITH, but not in the most widely used sense. I’m talking about having supreme confidence and trust in someone or something. I look at faith like this: FAITH = TRUST + SURRENDER. On Sunday September 11th, 2016 Sarah and I welcomed the birth of our daughter Maya. Through that experience I both witnessed and practiced the most humbling amount of trust and surrender that I have in my life thus far. Sarah surrendered to her body, to the labor waves, to her coaches. I trusted in our preparation, in the team we assembled, and in my ability to support. Witnessing what I can only describe as pure faith on the parts of everyone involved, I began to think about the other areas in my life where my personal faith is lacking. Where I’m failing to trust someone or something, and where I’m fighting for control rather than surrendering. This episode is all about faith, trust and surrender. I briefly talk about Maya’s birth experience, but spend the bulk of the episode diving into what it looks and feels like when we lack faith in our lives. What you’ll hear in this episode: A powerful re-contextualization of faith that you can apply to your life Examples of what lacking faith, trust and surrender look and feel like A call for you to examine what processes you’re hindering through your lack of faith STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You've probably heard sayings like"What you think you become." (Buddha) and "What you focus on expands." (T. Harv Eker). They are great and make for awesome social media quotes and refrigerator magnets. But I think the fact that they are used (perhaps overused today) so much has watered down the impact of the message. The things that we choose to focus our time, energy, thoughts and resources on, grow and multiply and become more real for us. We can all conjure up examples of this in our lives. It doesn't take much mental effort to do.   But I know that for at least myself, I don't take it to heart enough, and I wonder why it may be hard to shake feelings of frustration, sadness or resentment.  It's because I'm focusing on them, instead of the amazing things in life! This episode was inspired by an Epic Challenge that a friend of mine brought into our accountability group and received feedback on. Part of her feedback was that "the things you focus on expand", and it hit me in a powerful way because of the place that I was in at the time.  In this episode I talk about the Epic Challenge feedback, discuss examples of things that I've been focusing on that have expanded in my world, and provide some solutions for creating and experiencing more great moments and less sad moments. What you'll learn in this episode: How to experience more great things in life through focus 9 simple actions to help you form a gratitude habit STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

By now you might have heard of the Tony Robbins documentary “I am not your guru”. It’s been making its way around Netflix and the internet. If you haven’t seen it, I recommend you give it a watch! Well, I checked it out the other day and can honestly say that few other documentaries have inspired me as much as this one. It wasn’t Tony Robbins who inspired me. Instead, I was inspired by the people in the documentary who recognized their opportunity for breakthrough, and boldly stepped into it. This happens a handful of times in the documentary, and each time it’s amazing to watch them process the situation, become aware of their breakthrough moment, analyze the risk/reward, confront the terror that comes up, and take ACTION! This episode is about what it really takes to experience a breakthrough in your life. To get unstuck. To start experiencing things in a dramatically different way. It takes action. It takes movement. It takes getting out of your head and getting into your heart and doing something that you know to be the best move for you, but scares you shitless. STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I truly believe that your relationships are the most important factor to your health (and I'm not talking about relationships in the way you might be thinking). You don't want to miss this one because this episode will get you thinking! What you’ll learn in this episode: The types of relationships that take away from your health How to reframe “stress” so you regain your power A simple process for relating more powerfully to any circumstance STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was inspired by an article titled “The one sentence that finally inspired me to lose 70 pounds”. I read that and thought to myself, “I want to know that one thing!!!” Not because I feel I need to lose 70 pounds, but because anytime someone claims to know the one thing/secret/habit I really want to hear it. So I checked it out….and liked what I read! But the point of the article made me think about my one thing and about a topic that I address regularly on this show --- personal mission statements. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why you might have a hard time getting back on track when you fall off How to keep momentum on your goals in life How the “one thing” from the MBG article ties into your personal mission statement STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who will you become in 2018? We're all used to setting new years resolutions and goals for what we want to DO in the upcoming year, but rarely do we make time for a much more important exercise -- being clear on who we want to become in the new year. STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part 3 in my series where I'm breaking down the meaning of A.L.L. - Abundant Loving Life, and where I'm sharing my framework for "having it all".  In the A.L.L. framework, I've chosen to focus on what I think are 6 key areas of life: Faith, Family, Friends, Fitness, Finance, and Fun.  STRUGGLING WITH CONSISTENCY?  Download the free "trust account" app from the YourDay Balance Game, and start building trust with YOURSELF today!  Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.balancegame.ydbg iPhone: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/ydbg-watch-play-discover/id1489276659 FEELING THE IMPACT OF CODEPENDENCY? Watch the free #1 obstacle video and learn what derails all successful people and keeps them from moving from codependent to independent https://theydbg.com/obstacle-video/ WANT TO FEEL MORE CLARITY, CONFIDENCE AND PURPOSE? Get the "Having It A.L.L. Blueprint", my self-paced online program for designing and living your greatest life! https://hia.ck.page/products/blueprint CHECK OUT SOME OFFERS FROM OUR AWESOME PARTNERS Needed: https://bit.ly/3IKmWzL - use code HIA20 to get 20% off your order or HIA100 for $100 off a Complete Plan LEAVE THE PODCAST A REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/having-it-all-conversations-about-living-an-abundant/id1093257684 CHECK OUT THE ENTIRE HAVING IT A.L.L. PODCAST CATALOG https://www.matthewbivens.com/ GET IN TOUCH WITH MATTHEW [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices