WHO AM I? I have been tossing and turning with this question for the longest time, not just who I am but it's been attached to a plethora of other, I guess, self identification questions…..if that's even the right way to put it. Some of these questions being what am I good at? What satisfies me? What is it that when I do, I do exceedingly well, what sets me apart? What makes me, me? I believe all of these questions are all encompassed in this one question, “who am I?”

The other day I was lamenting to my friend about how I’ve always struggled to feel like I belong anywhere, always constantly seeming to be out of place in whatever space I occupy, I don’t remember much of what she said in response to me but what I do remember was she said “I pray God opens your eyes to see how you can turn your childhood experiences into something useful for someone else in the Kingdom. You’ve always belonged”.

This is quite a personal story, not that the others haven't been, a story I was reminded of by enquiring minds that reminded me that hindsight can remind you of the journey and the grace found in the journey though we may not immediately see it. Here’s my offering, of peace and hope from a place that was previously broken. If you prefer to read, you may also find the same piece on my blog. Here is the link 🔗 https://mouthpiecewordpresscom.wordpress.com/2023/12/07/looking-through-the-scars/

Made an error when I first started talking and said season 2, it's actually season 3. Well, welcome again. Self check in? Very important. Before we dive right into this season let's first do a quick self check in with ourselves, if you've done it or have mastered doing it already... Kudos to you. If you're a bit like me & you get lost in the hustle and bustle of life and forget to check in with yourself, well please take this reminder to do that for yourself. We all deserve a little stillness and quiet to hear Our Heavenly Fathers voice.

This is the last episode of season 2 on my podcast and I'm so proud of myself. It's not much, an amateur podcast and project but working towards something and on this episode I talk about that and courage the process of creating on this platform has given me. And I hope after listen you realize that it's okay to not start perfect but to start and develop as you go and as you go realizing the need for excellence and authenticity. We are all well able to do the things Jesus has given us ability to do and I hope we all push past fear and uncertainty and put out our work out there and trust that Jesus is looking out and we are getting better.

The basis of my trusting in Gods’ promises has always found it's anchoring in trusting His character. Because the promise can exist, but the person promising will always be the determining factor if the promise will be fulfilled as said. God on the other hand, none of what He says returns to Him void, He doesn't say something to entice us and then in the next breathe withhold from us what He has said. His reputation speaks for itself, He will surely do it, if He said He will. Now, not to say our own human proclivities don't cause us to at sometimes doubt, it is in these very moments that when I'm doubting the fulfilment of the promise because of the humanly FACTS presented before me, that I earnestly remind myself of the character of the one who has promised. He is not capable of lying, He is TRUTH Himself and does not ever tell a lie. Pastor Don said this past Sunday that “Even in our moments of weakness and doubt, He still loves us”. Doubt does set in, human proclivities get the best of us, but none of it taints who He is to us, a loving father who has no intentions of withholding any good thing from us His children(Matthew 7:9-11), no matter how long it may take in our eyes for the promise to be fulfilled, It is always on time because to Him ,a thousand years are like a day that has just gone by.(Psalm 90:4) BELIEVE HIM WHO HAS PROMISED BECAUSE HE IS FAITHFUL AND HE WILL DO IT.

I hope my transparency helps make you feel like you’re not alone because I know how daunting it can be to sometimes have to heal from things one would feel you should be over and sometimes we project that even on our own selves. I felt comfortable sharing this, telling you about having to visit little me and facing her brokenness. I felt comfortable because it’s been a deliverance to watch myself become better because in these areas I’ve heeded the Holy Spirit. I provide no answers but simply my story but stories are know to provide a form of clarity, inspiration and a symbol of what’s possible. Nothing we overcome is done outside of the one and only saving Grace which is the love of Jesus. And every story I tell about myself, I can boldly say has always had His fingerprints and none of mine. And for that, I’ll always be eternally grateful. Enjoy this offering and share with me some of the things you’ve also had to shed over time…..

I had different thoughts about this episode but I just couldn’t get my thoughts together properly so I’ll put it off for next year. What was, however, overflowing in my heart was an expression of gratitude and so I chose to go with that. This is my last episode for 2022. Thank you so much for being part of my growth. Here’s Keletso’s link to her blog as promised: https://bloggingwithfervor.wordpress.com/?fbclid=PAAaaUaJRSOGX7ltitlIqaQWFuiSXxiwUG40Pg1MwgrtIIkL9lgkZKsE2CJuc

Please enjoy this little story about how I got my diploma certificate through thick,thin and testing of my integrity. I probably go on a tangent as well but isn’t it how it is just talking to your best friend?

But now I see better. I don’t know if it’s 30 or it was just time I saw better, what I do know for sure is that as I approach 30, hindsight has me seeing all of Gods fingerprints in the moments that felt like a crushing, when things looked like a mess, when nothing made sense . And now that I’m almost 30, I find myself grateful to Him who has kept me, raised me, protected me, taught me, held my hand. What a good good Father and the wisest potter to ever mould this clay that is me.