Girls Chase Podcast
Girls Chase Podcast
The Girls Chase Podcast
Get girls chasing you!
Date Coach Series: Alek Rolstad
The higher your meet-to-lay ratio, the more of the women you meet end up in bed. What’s it take to RAISE your meet-to-lay ratio though… how do you get really, really good? In this webinar, we discuss the mechanics of good game with the most technically skilled pick up artist in the field today, Alek Rolstad. Alek has bedded hundreds of women across Europe and beyond with his patented Sex Talk Method and irresistibly seductive Sexual Prizing. He breaks down how he does it inside. As you listen, you’ll discover: • How lockdowns in Europe have affected Alek’s game (01:19) • How Alek’s bounced back quickly from lockdowns and laid new girls right away each time lockdowns are lifted (02:33) • Why do most guys who cold approach women have to deal with so much rejection? (04:53) • When girls reject guys they actually like (07:26) • On guys being either TOO sexual with women… or not nearly sexual ENOUGH (08:57) • The need for efficiency AND consistency in your sexual approach toward women (12:45) • Doing sex talk PROPERLY and avoiding the “sex talk didn’t turn her on” problem (14:04) • How long does it take Alek’s students to get SMOOTH using sex talk? (15:56) • Alek’s story: how he became one of the most prominent & skilled seducers in the world (19:07) • Alek’s one regret after 16 years in the game (22:20) • What stays fresh and exciting in a pickup even after many years picking up new girls (24:13) • Most guys stop picking up after a while to have girlfriends, start families, and so on. What’s kept Alek at seduction for so long? (25:01) • What is meet-to-lay ratio? How has Alek’s changed over the years? What does he see happen with his students’ meet-to-lay ratios over time? (26:29) • Sex Talk Rule #2: Be dirty, but not too much. How can beginners gauge how much is too little or too much? (29:37) • Sex Talk Rule #7: Leave a girl wanting more (more sex talk, that is). How do you do this? (32:30) • What a Seduction Gambit is, and exactly why it’s so important students get used to using them (35:53) • The “secret sauce” behind Alek’s ability to weave new, powerful sex talk gambits that ENAMOR women (39:16) • Sexual Prizing: what it is and just HOW it works to get women CHASING you for sex (42:33) • What women DO once you’re sexually prized; how to recognize a girl is now chasing you to hook up (45:39) • Alek discusses some of the RESULTS students of his have achieved in the past (49:38) • “Perverted Purity” Gambit: a brand new fused sex talk gambit (55:17) • What Alek has students focus on (beyond just the words) when teaching them sex talk gambits (59:45) • Alek’s “BSL” method for getting girls HOOKED into conversation with you (62:23) • Why students so often NEGLECT the very crucial pickup step of Locking In (66:29) • Alek lays out what types of students would NOT be qualified for coaching with him (67:32) • Alek’s ideal student: the kind of student who will get the most out of training with Alek (70:02) • A summary of everything students get when coaching with Alek (73:34) To sign up for a free 10-minute discovery call for coaching with Alek Rolstad, please visit:
Mar 6, 2022
1 hr 20 min
29: Daniel Adebayo | Becoming More Consistent in Seduction
Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today we have the second part of my interview with Daniel Adebayo from earlier this year, easily one of the most consistent night-game and day-game specialist I’ve met and seen in action. He’s easily one of the most innovative and consistent gamers I’ve seen. Last time while in Montreal, we talked about how to get women in your bed using verbal game, and how Daniel’s unique style of verbal game can give any guy an edge in getting women’s attention in the modern age of overstimulation. For this podcast, we continue that conversation with a focus on consistency, and specifically how Daniel has achieved consistency in his game style. If a guy wants to improve his game, there should always be a focus on being more consistent. And what’s truly rewarding with this style is how confident it can make a guy in knowing he can meet and sleep with a woman with a predictable amount of effort. As we spoke about meeting women with him in Canada, Daniel explains how his focus on process, fundamentals, and constant effort has given him – and can give any guy – the ability to easily sleep with many women, at any point in time. Podcast Details: Daniel Adebayo – Consistency 1:45 – Introduction to Daniel and Ottawa, and differences in gaming compared to New York 3:45 – How Daniel approaches at bus stops, malls, and his approach method THE PROCESS OF BECOMING MORE CONSISTENT 4:30 – Starting with fundamentals, presenting yourself as a confident guy (and how to do this) 5:40 – The value of consistency and becoming an anytime seducer 7:20 – How Daniel can sometimes pull home the 2nd or 3rd girl he meets at a mall (example pull) 9:00 – Realizing the power of getting sex at will – it’s a lot of hard work to get there. Daniel explains the differences in smoothness and results. 11:00 – Daniel explains how he worked on his body language, by keeping his head still and working on his posture. Stillness is powerful; it affects girl’s perception of a guy in a bar by making her reactive to a guy. 14:20 – After developing fundamentals, it’s important to go out a lot to develop intuition. It’s the most powerful form of game. 16:20 – Start with fundamentals and basic intuition, then add more techniques to your repertoire as you learn about your weaknesses 18:00 – Daniel explains the four stages of a cold-approach pickup, and how to use metrics to find and work on weaknesses 19:20 – Consistency is actually a never-ending journey. HOW TO KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE 21:00 – How to understand where to look at weaknesses, and some different things Daniel suggests to improve 24:00 – We deep dive into specific techniques for the isolation-to-pull segment, which is a challenging area for many guys – and Daniel’s use of listing. 26:40 – Daniel discusses the pull-to-lay segment and dealing with LMR strategies 28:35 – Slutty LMR, versus lack of arousal MAXIMIZING YOUR SEX LIFE BY REFINING STRENGTHS 32:00 – Minimizing the luck factor and maximizing odds 33:50 – Direct openers reduce control of the seduction 35:00 – An example of waiting for a girl to stop walking in order to maximize odds. We talk about street game vs. stationary approaches. Hope you guys enjoyed another podcast with Daniel! Definitely check out his articles on Girls Chase. As I’ve said before, he’s already one of the most consistent gamers I’ve yet to witness – and at the quality he gets. I’ve also learned a lot myself about how to be more consistent in my own game. I’ll catch you soon on the next episode of Dating Mechanics! Varoon Listen online: LEARN SOMETHING GOOD? SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW! If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review. This helps us reach more ears, and casts your vote for “Yes! Make more episodes!”
Sep 16, 2019
38 min
28: Franco Lombardi | Gauging a Woman’s Comfort on Dates
Today once again I feature Franco, with whom I’ve done several podcasts. We met up in San Diego over New Years and talked about a girl’s comfort on dates, which is a sticking point I had late last year, where it was difficult to tell how comfortable a girl was on a date, which made it tough to move things forward. Franco always tells me about his excellent track record on dates, as he was closing 9 out of 10 girls he would take on dates with him. What helps is his ability to gauge a girl’s comfort and where she is emotionally on a date. Knowing a girl’s comfort level and emotions are key in the moment, as this allows you to determine what you need to do to move a date forward toward intimacy – and very importantly, when. Girls also often give mixed signals to test a guy, and a good guy should know how to handle these tests as he moves the process along with a girl. In this podcast, we talk about how to determine a girl’s comfort level early on a date, the adjustments in vibe we need to make to make her more comfortable, the adjustments we should make if an emotion is too strong, how to determine when a girl is comfortable enough for touch and what type, when to start and escalate touch, how to use sexual touch when she’s comfortable, and how to close at the end of the date – whether it’s just going for the kiss or pulling her home. Podcast Details: 1:30 – Introduction to Franco and Varoon in San Diego on New Year’s Eve 2:00 – Girls want dates to go well, but they often give mixed signals, so the whole date is a bit of a test. Girls usually come into a date nervous, and this influences how it transpires. 3:20 – Varoon shares personal stories of how, for many years, he had great results approaching girls and getting them on dates, but had trouble gauging comfort and true emotions in the moment. 5:00 – Franco and Varoon talk about signs of a girl’s nervousness vs. comfort early into a date, why you want to make her feel comfortable as early as possible, and things she will do to indicate her state of mind. 7:30 – Varoon shares how he didn’t get a girl comfortable early on a date with him, and that made her eject by using “polite excuses.” This example shows how timing is key for date tech. 8:30 – How to elicit early comfort emotions and how to look for comfortable tangents for conversation 11:00 – A girl’s impression of the date is going to be based on her emotions, as she’s already showing interest in a guy by going on the date. 13:00 – A man’s job on a date is to make adjustments in vibe to make her more comfortable. He can make her laugh more, use the one compliment rule, or use sex talk and sexual tension. 15:00 – We talk about how to calibrate sex talk on a date, and the key to make sure she’s not in her “stiff” phase before talking about sex. 17:30 – The role of touch on a date, and how to touch early on, when to start touch, and when to escalate touch. 19:30 – How to transition into sex talk, and the kinds of sex talk used. 20:00 – Franco shares how he uses sex talk and touch together, how girl’s react, and how to gauge comfort during sex talk. 22:30 – Recap of the date sequence to make a girl comfortable, and how stiffness is a tell-tale sign for a girl. 24:30 – Varoon shares a story he overheard of a guy kissing a girl at the wrong moment, and how girls are super socially attuned. 27:00 – We discuss kissing at the end of a first date, and whether or not to kiss a girl. Franco shares how to leave a girl wanting more with a kiss. How to deliver the perfect kiss. 31:00 – How to end a first date with a pull-away kiss, and using it for sexual tension. Listen online: LEARN SOMETHING GOOD? SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW! If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review. This helps us reach more ears, and casts your vote for “Yes! Make more episodes!”
Jun 24, 2019
35 min
27: Joshua Spodek | Taking Initiative
Welcome back to Dating Mechanics, our podcast here on Girls Chase! Today I feature a special guest who was recommended to me by Chase himself. Joshua Spodek (who actually used to be a dating coach himself) is now an expert on leadership, training, and taking initiative. He has several PhDs, writes a column for Inc., and has five Ivy league degrees. In this podcast, we’re here to talk about his upcoming new book, called Initiative, where Josh shares how anyone in any place in life can start taking initiative to create extraordinary results in life. Podcast Details: Taking Initiative 02:30 – We introduce Joshua, and we talk about his background in New York, and how he began teaching how to improve lives. We also talk about textbook learning versus performance based learning, and how traditional learning has failed. 05:00 – Traditional mainstream education teaches people to comply, and it tells you what’s important. Joshua shows how traditional textbook and example-based learning leaves people with fewer options. 08:00 – The path of traditional education leads to stability and keeps society going. It’s good for benefits and allows people to put their kids through college, but it may not be as fulfilling or lucrative as taking the path less traveled. 09:00 – Josh shares what inspired him to write Initiative, based on his experience in graduate school and how he started his first company – the first time he experienced full control. 11:20 – Josh’s lack of leadership skills caused him to be squeezed out of his own company. 12:45 – The number one reason people say they don’t want to start a company – they don’t have an idea. Varoon talks about Chipotle and how it evolved. 14:10 – Ideas don’t matter to the level we think. The people who don’t care about their ideas but pursue a path based on leadership skill succeed, whereas the people who look for the perfect idea do not. We always learn through our own experiences. 16:40 – We talk about the different types of ideas, and how the traditional entrepreneurial path is good for a limited number of outcomes. 19:00 – Josh talks about his book and course, and the fundamental learning tool is experience and practice. Memorizing facts doesn’t really work. 22:00 – People don’t start working on their ideas because they never figure out what they really want to do, which stalls them from even starting. Josh asks me what I remember most from school, and how I remember social skills more than my education. 24:30 – Josh talks about the example of learning how to play piano. Some things are known learning paths, in social and performance based fields. 25:30 – Josh shares his example of Rafael from his book. 28:40 – We talk more about Initiative, and how the exercises lead practitioners to unearth their real passions. 31:00 – The practice of very basic exercises can lead people to create beautiful symphonies, because repetition creates experience and muscle memory. 32:30 – We talk about working past sticking points to master skills. 34:00 – The more you serve what other people need, the more they help you succeed in your own goals. 38:30 – People fear taking action because they fear their own internal problems, and how they imagine failure will make them space. Practice always pays off, though. Working on fundamentals and basics always pays off. 41:30 – How discipline and practice allows authenticity to emerge. 43:00 – Josh shares how initiative will bring forth profit and passion into anyone’s life. 44:45 – Josh talks about guests he has had on his podcast, including Chase, available on
May 21, 2019
46 min
26: Daniel Adebayo | Verbal Game and Consistency
Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today I feature Daniel Adebayo, one of our newer and younger authors on GirlsChase – and easily already one of the best night game and day game guys I’ve met and seen in action. Still in college, Daniel has already mastered night game and day game using a combination of Gunwitch’s Seduction MMA – which we’ve featured in another podcast – and his emotional stimulation, social frame, and sexual frame techniques. He also utilizes a good amount of Alek Rolstad’s sex talk. He’s easily one of the most innovative and consistent gamers I’ve seen, and I was lucky enough to witness him in action. In this podcast, which we recorded together in Montreal, Quebec. We talk about how to get women in your bed using verbal game, and how Daniel’s unique style of verbal game can give any guy an edge in getting women’s attention in the modern age of overstimulation. PODCAST HIGHLIGHTS: Why Verbal Game? 2:55 – Daniel’s story so far 3:10 – Different things he’s tried before getting to this point 4:00 – Social trends of this current day and age 4:05 – How women are overstimulated 6:14 – How verbal game gives you an edge in this environment Summary of Daniel’s Process for Seducing Women Verbally 7:16 – Start off casual 7:22 – Nudge towards fun/interesting topics 7:34 – Nudge towards emotionally stimulating topics 7:43 – Nudge towards sexual topics 7:48 – Repeat and fractionate Starting off Casual 11:06 – Situational openers vs. direct openers 11:25 – Curiosity gambits 13:44 – Reality pace openers Nudging Towards Fun/Interesting Topics 15:00 – How to do this casually 15:35 – Weasel Phrases 15:53 – Examples of topics 16:07 – The revamped golden question Nudging Towards Emotionally Stimulating Topics 19:09 – How to do this 19:16 – Language and conversation tools you can to make any topic emotionally stimulating 23:03 – Memorized gambits vs. riffing Nudging Towards Sexual Topics 25:04 – How to do this smoothly 27:34 – Topic turning points 29:46 – Conversational management tools 29:49 – Steer and control the direction of your conversations with women Extra Verbal Techniques 32:18 – Opportunities & Challenges 32:48 – Contrasting 33:13 – Pacing and Leading 34:30 – Reality Pacing and combining these techniques for specific purposes, like * Probing deeper * Reframing resistance * Extracting * Plausible deniability 38:30 – Why this works Hope you guys enjoyed this one with Daniel, who is one of the rising stars as far as the seduction and social arts go. Definitely check out his articles on Girls Chase, as well as his reports from the forum where he describes his journey. We’ll be back with him soon where we talk about consistency and how to go about achieving that as you grow in the world of women, and also my experience in visiting Daniel and spending the weekend meeting women with him in Canada. I’ll catch you soon on the next episode of Dating Mechanics! Varoon
Feb 14, 2019
41 min
25: Shari James | Treating Erectile Dysfunction
Welcome back to Dating Mechanics on Girls Chase! Today we feature a show in development for quite some time with my first female guest – Shari James – who runs a successful coaching practice based out of Los Angeles, CA called Architecture of Pleasure to help men resolve Erectile Dysfunction. Podcast Highlights: 1:50 – Introduction to Shari James, her mission in treating Erectile Dysfunction. 4:15 – Shari explains how she started her business Architecture of Pleasure as a result of a history in stripping. 7:10 – Stripping and dancing was a freedom of expression for Shari – and it pulled guys into her 9:10 – Women don’t give men enough time to talk – and Shari trained herself to give men space to be emotional. 10:40 – Shari’s journey leads her into the erotic arts and tantric massage. 13:20 – Shari’s path takes her to offering sexual healing to men, women, and couples. 15:50 – Shari wants to take the suffering out of ED for men and to educate men on sexuality and healing, using her 26 years of experience with them. 17:40 – The five branches of the sexual system: the emotional/mental issues, the circulatory system, the nervous system, sexual energy, and being state. All five cause erectile dysfunction. 19:40 – Step #1: Release Heavy Emotions. 21:40 – Men have an inner hard-on. Men’s sexual center connects with the heart – and when men have inner pain, it blocks their inner hard-on, which blocks their outer hard-on. 23:40 – Men stop having sex to emotionally distance themselves from women in relationships, too, sometimes pre-breakup. 25:30 – Shari talks about men who need to have an emotional connection in order to have sexual desire and a hard-on for a woman. 28:00 – We talk about how to understand and deal with emotional issues that cause ED. 30:40 – Case study with a client who was in an abusive relationship with a woman. 32:50 – Step #2: Increase Circulation. 35:20 – We talk about nitric oxide and how it works towards a healthy sexual function. 37:50 – Shari shares her case study of helping a man in his 60s whose circulation was compromised by diabetes, which caused ED. 39:50 – Step #3: Decrease Stress and Retrain the Nervous System. 42:10 – Most men operate full time in a sympathetic nervous system mode – which actually inhibits their erections. 45:00 – Men don’t carry over meditation mindsets into their daily life, which contributes to ED. 47:00 – Shari shares her case study of a stressed-out business owner, and how she helped him manage his stress to fix his erectile dysfunction. 48:40 – Common medical practice is to isolate ED, when actually it’s linked to a greater body system. 49:50 – Step #4: Harness Sexual Energy. 51:50 – Women get more energy from orgasms while men lose energy from ejaculations and feel tired. 53:50 – When men have morning wood, everything fixes, or has fixed, itself. 54:40 – Case study of a guy in his 40s in a great marriage who wasn’t getting aroused with his wife. 57:25 – Step #5: Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Listen online: LEARN SOMETHING GOOD? SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW! If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review. This helps us reach more ears, and casts your vote for “Yes! Make more episodes!”
Dec 20, 2018
1 hr 3 min
24: Franco & Amrit | Dating Your Dream Girl as a Minority
Welcome back to another episode of Dating Mechanics! I’m Varoon Rajah, and today we explore a topic that frequently comes up on the Girls Chase boards – the question of dating your dream girl as a minority. PODCAST HIGHLIGHTS 02:25 – Intro to the podcast with Franco and Amrit 03:20 – Franco talks about how guys complain on the boards about the minority issue, and never take the advice they’re given. The same questions are repeatedly asked, and the same advice is repeatedly given but ignored, reinforcing negativity. 04:30 – Introducing Amrit, and how Franco and Amrit met. Amrit talks about his background in India and San Diego, and how he didn’t have the American cultural experience. 06:15 – Differences in mindsets between America and India, and how it’s important to adapt to a new culture. Most guys that struggle don’t change their mindset. Amrit was able to get his desired girls without joining any social scenes. 07:15 – How Amrit approached, met, and dated his first hot girl in the United States. It turned into a four year relationship. 09:35 – We reiterate cultural adaptation to break through the mold, and we talk about keeping attractive parts of your native culture with attractive parts of the new culture. Amrit talks about how important family is to him, and how girls he dates always appreciate it. 11:10 – A lot of Indian guys see their family background as a negative thing, and resent it. Amrit does not, his family keeps him grounded. Family upbringing translates into excellent fundamentals. 13:30 – How Amrit views interracial dating and dating white American girls, and how he’s embraced both Indian and American cultures to make himself exotic. Your cultural background is your greatest asset and can make you an exotic gem. 15:30 – Guys on the boards imagine that only blond-haired, blue-eyed guys can date hot white girls; however, we share in our example that these same girls say they don’t like these guys. 16:20 – The importance of niching, and realizing the possibility of dating new kinds of women through experience and trial. It’s important to brand and package yourself as an exotic minority. Amrit uses websites as examples. 18:00 – Presenting yourself as a top notch guy in a certain category 19:00 – Amrit’s first cold approach resulted in a four year relationship, which taught him to always approach and take shots. Franco shares how he’s seen some guys who have tried and attained success, shifting their mindset. The guys who fail inevitably keep a negative mindset, whereas Amrit views himself as a prize. 20:55 – The importance of fundamentals and presentation. You have to dress like how you want people to see you. Amrit is always the best dressed Indian guy in the room, making himself the top tier guy not only of his category, but of the room. 22:10 – Indian/brown guys don’t have a lot of competition, which is a great opportunity! Girls love to show off guys to their friends, and minority guys can use their exotic quality to the fullest. 24:30 – Most Indian guys focus on complicated advanced problems rather than simple fixes in fundamentals that would net them the desired results. 25:10 – Accept that there are guys of your race succeeding. Usually the top notch minorities and brown guys are killing it and swimming in pussy. 26:10 – Amrit got his college dream girl ten years later. He never saw her as a real possibility, but he became the prize and got her on the first date. Setting up a process made the difference. 27:45 – Keep trying, failing, and tweaking your system. Use your resources to fill in the gaps of knowledge. 28:45 – Amrit’s Absolute Abundance mentality. Listen online: LEARN SOMETHING GOOD? SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW! If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review. This helps us reach more ears, and casts your vote for “Yes! Make more episodes!”
Oct 4, 2018
30 min
23: Gunwitch | The Basics of Seduction MMA
Gunwitch has been in the PUA community and a teacher since the days of MASF, The Game, Mystery, and Neil Strauss. His method, dubbed “Gunwitch Method,” is incredibly powerful, centered around the use of body-states to attract and arouse women. Today, we’re going to cover the basics of Gunwitch’s Seduction MMA – how to use sub-communication with sexual arousal, emotional stimulation, and social frames to make girls work for you and chase after you. HIGHLIGHTS 0:00 – Introduction to Gunwitch and Seduction MMA, and how he started on MASF. 02:40 – Early Gunwitch method and the importance of projecting a sexual state with women. 04:40 – Why sub-communicating that you’re a cool guy is more effective than verbals in game. 06:20 – How the amygdala is reversed in women, and why this makes women value a man’s behavior more than his looks. 08:00 – How ovulation and biological cycles affect female behavior. 09:20 – The three keys of Seduction MMA post hook: social frame, emotional stimulation, sexual arousal. 11:00 – Verbal and physical ways to project the three keys, and how women behave. 14:30 – Why it’s better to stimulate women, and how women value stimulation. 16:40 – Safety as a social frame for women, and how to project it/use it, including with Lyft and Uber. 18:15 – How Tinder hurts self-esteem. 18:50 – Gunwitch SECT method (Speak slowly and Sexually, Eye contact, Closeness, Touch). Use these to sub-communicate interest and create stimulation and sexual interest. 22:00 – The hook as the hardest part of game and socialization, and why the three keys work. 24:15 – Relationship transitions and dominance methods, and how women work for you (the strongest frame a man can implement). 27:00 – Gambits, and how they help men succeed in the game. 30:00 – “Do you know who you look like?” as an opener, and how it stimulates women… and how men prize themselves through sub-communication. 32:20 – Why it’s important to put oneself into a state rather than just doing things to project something you’re not. 34:20 – Calibration as essential to using the three keys correctly. I hope you enjoyed this podcast with Gunwitch covering Seduction MMA. Stay tuned for the next episode of Dating Mechanics, where I interview a former stripper turned sexual health coach, and we discuss erectile dysfunction and what to do about it! Listen online: LEARN SOMETHING GOOD? SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW! If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review. This helps us reach more ears, and casts your vote for “Yes! Make more episodes!”
May 26, 2018
35 min
22: Franco Lombardi | Learning Pickup Takes Discipline, Part 2
I’m pleased to announce Part 2 of my interview with Franco Lombardi on the importance of Discipline. Discipline is more of a mindset approach to dating as opposed to having an uncontrolled environment. • 00:20 – A quick review of Part 1 • 01:41 – How to strategize what methods to keep and what to stop using, and why the #1 goal of every guy is to find a system that works to get laid, then focus on improving different parts • 03:12 – If you know A, keep A. Don’t change A if it works, but start solving for other variables until you’re getting laid. Online dating is a great testing ground for variables • 04:55 – Location as its own variable – how to play with dating apps • 06:40 – Why beginners and virgins should set small goals to start. Approach and A: open a girl with the Goal of B: a conversation. Then once A is complete, move to B. Then once B is complete, go to C: get her number • 08:30 – How building a disciplined system is like building a custom ladder where every rung is a specific process • 09:35 – Common pitfall: how many guys aim to get to the top rung without fully building the base • 10:45 – We discuss advanced guys who already have working ladders, and how they improve their ladders by improving certain rungs • 12:50 – Franco discusses how he changes just one variable to adjust the structure of his ladder to get higher performance rates. And how to use another’s success to adapt their game to oneself • 15:40 – Why proper execution of a new method is critical. When trying new methods, take into account that it might not be executed correctly and will require further testing • 17:10 – There’s never a 100% success rate in the dating game, but we can aim to get as close as possible. No variable can have a 100% success rate • 18:55 – The first goal is to have a working ladder, even if not perfect, to have a system for getting laid. When a ladder is working, focus on improving each rung • 19:45 – We talk about stacks and routines in the PUA community – they give you controlled, solved variables, like preassembled rungs for a ladder • 21:30 – Typical pitfall points for guys when it comes to discipline, and how Varoon’s introduction of polyamory in his ladder destroyed rungs further up • 23:10 – Some hard rules in any dating ladders, like avoiding religion, politics, feminism, things that create dissimilarity, and dating habits • 23:50 – How confirmation biases affect results when guys don’t test new methods fluidly • 26:20 – Discipline is a long-term goal for dating, and good foresight is key for determining your own rules • 29:00 – Discipline is the difference between the controlled, civilized man and the beast • 30:15 – Control and calibration equate to developing yourself as a true social Alpha, whereas the beast is uncontrolled and uncalibrated • 32:00 – Using control to be the impulsive beast at the correct times. The civilized man knows when to be impulsive and when not to be • 32:45 – Long-term thinking as a function of Discipline CHATS WITH CHASE For this episode’s Chats with Chase, we got a great comment from listener Alexander about what to focus on when improving conversation skills. • 34:15 – Introduction • 34:55 – Chase talks about early experiences with conversation and Deep Diving • 35:45 – Chase shares thread amplification • 36:30 – A conversation without thread amplification and how it feels superficial, with no relational elements • 37:30 – How to fix a jumpy conversation using thread amplification, with examples • 39:20 – Why to begin conversations by relating to girls in general ways, and why to make a girl feel free when she’s talking with you Listen online: LEARN SOMETHING GOOD? SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW! If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review. This helps us reach more ears, and casts your vote for “Yes! Make more episodes!”
Jan 13, 2018
41 min
21: Franco Lombardi | Learning Pickup Takes Discipline, Part 1
Have you ever tried a technique or maybe hit a sticking point in your dating life, then wonder why whatever you’re doing didn’t work? If so, this podcast will help. Discipline is more of a mindset approach to dating as opposed to having an uncontrolled environment. The idea behind discipline is threefold: • There are things I know that work; I want to continue to use those things • I need to stop doing things that don’t work for my dating methods • I also need to create systems that test what I’m not sure about Since this is a hefty subject, I’ve broken up the podcast into two segments: In Part 1: • Introduction to Franco and discipline (00:45) • Why Franco believes discipline is important, and the mindset of discipline (01:32) • Discipline as compared to a scientific method and an equation (03:00) • Controlled versus tested variables (03:52) • Varoon’s example of how a single variable changed the outcome of his date (04:07) • Varoon discusses how he confused the cause of his failure on the date (05:22) • Franco discusses how he isolated the variable that changed on Varoon’s date (06:26) • Varoon shares a story from another date where he changed many variables (08:30) • Why it’s important to turn your dates into a scientific experiment (09:50) • Franco’s equation comparison and why it’s important to keep variables to just one (10:25) • How the equation and variable system relates to dating (11:40) • Why changing just one date variable is critical to learning and creating a working method (12:32) • How to understand all the different variables at play, and how the most successful men are all highly disciplined (13:27) • Reducing variables solves equations quicker and makes the dating process much easier (15:28) • Varoon shares how isolating variables helped him figure out a sticking point in texting (15:55) • Nothing is ever 100% or absolute with women (how a method works differently for different people) (17:18) • Varoon shares a more difficult sticking point and how he sorted through several variables to create a solution (19:00) • Some variables are more difficult to identify than others (21:50) I’d also like to introduce a new segment called “Chats with Chase,” where I invite Chase to discuss anything reader related on the podcast. This time, Chase covers how to decide when to remove components from your dating method. • Introduction to “Chats with Chase” (22:55) • How Chase knows when it’s time to chuck a strategy into the waste bin, and why there are so many variances in results (23:05) • First reason to throw something out – when you don’t need something anymore (24:54) • Second reason to throw something out – when something repeatedly doesn’t work (and why to try something twenty times before discarding it) (27:17) • Third reason to throw something out – when it produces reactions, not results (Chase cites public makeouts as an example, and how he started testing out not making out in public) (28:16) • Final reason to throw something out – when it just doesn’t fit your personality (and how Chase threw out some cheesy sex banter that didn’t work well) (30:25) Next time, in Part 2 of my discussion with Franco, we’ll discuss: • How to experiment with discipline by solving variables and demonstrating what works • How to use discipline in dating methods if you’re a virgin or a beginner • How to use discipline more effectively to get better and get laid if you’re already getting results • Setting correct expectations for the successes you desire • Pacing reality with known and unknown variables • Typical pitfall points in how guys screw up discipline • Why thinking long term is critical to your dating success Listen online: LEARN SOMETHING GOOD? SUBSCRIBE AND REVIEW! If you enjoy the podcast, please subscribe in iTunes and leave a review. This helps us reach more ears, and casts your vote for “Yes! Make more episodes!”
Nov 29, 2017
33 min
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