Learning from Financial Failure, Part 2Questions for Date Night, Couples/Small Group Time...1.  Do you operate off a budget?  Do you tell your money where to go and how much?  Or do you check your balance and wonder where it all goes?2.  Do you review finances as a couple weekly?  Monthly?  Are you on the same page and mutually approve any purchase over $100?3.  Look up Matt 7: 24-27 and read together.  What are your storms thus far?  Which ones have tested your marriage?  Which teachings help keep your marriage on that rock foundation?  Which ways of the world put your marriage on that sandy weaker foundation?

Yes, you are in.  So we discussed Bezos and the Amazon Marriage Fail.  That covered for rich or richer and how marriages can melt down.  What about for richer or poorer?  A key part of another's testimony featured in this chapter.Questions for Date Night, Couple Small Group Couple time...1.  What is your 600 lb life?  What decision do you wish you could go back in time and reverse?  What previous decision or neglect has been weighing you down?  Pause and reflect.2.  Do you view past mistakes with that view shared by Dr. Lorrits?  Do you share what didn't work and what you did or are doing to correct it?  Share and reflect.  Pause and reflect.3.  What has your spouse done that really hurt or still hurts?  Has it been resolved?  Have you forgiven?  If it still lingers, have you consulted a professional, trusted counselor to help you navigate?

Yes, you are in!  Extra credit points for you!  As most people neglect their marriages.  You are tuning in.  Sharing these best practices with others.  Striving for stronger everyday.Odds you buy something from Amazon.  Odds are you fight about money with your spouse.  If you only had as much money as the Bezos (founders of Amazon), you would be golden right?  Wrong.  This chapter is of two tales.  For rich or richer?  And the other, of for poorer and a couple still striving to make it work.  Here you go...

Chapter 9The Two Greatest Rules for MarriageFor this chapter, I only get to pick on the Christians.  So if you are an atheist or other, you get to kick back.  If you are not a Christian, you are not obligated to do any of this.  However, if you do have a Christian family member or friend, you may want to challenge them on this.  Ask them, “You call yourself a Christian, but do you know the two greatest commandments?”  More important, do you really follow them?

Chapter 8:  Holiday ChoiceThis section was written on December 23rd of some year before we knew what was COVID.  For those that celebrate Christmas and New Year, you know this can be a season of great joy and/or dismay.  With the pomp and circumstance can come tension.  I’ve seen and even felt it too many times.  So ironic that a time of peace and celebration can go ugly.  Don’t get me wrong, the Jesus part is right.  You will find peace there if you look for it.  The tension comes from the human side.  Our flaws exposed.  If you read enough of these chapters, you are seeing/learning a theme.  Our egos and flaws create tension.  Get us in a room with a bunch of flawed people - look out!  Get ready for entertaining a bunch of flawed family - ay caramba!  Despite the storms, what will you choose?  If someone is rude, are you going to counter like Jesus or Trump via Twitter?  You do control your reactions.  You really do.  And this author has certainly had a fair share of failures.  Much easier said than done.  With practice, it gets easier.  Overall, I’ll guarantee you this - your best holidays and vacations had love at its center.  In that environment, it gets even easier and full of joy.  On the flips side, when that storm/attack hits, how will you choose to react?  Your choice.   Questions for you and your spouse… What was your greatest regret during the last week?What would you choose to do differently?What has been your best vacation or holiday celebration?  Why?

Chapter 7Nicker and ChadA message for a young couple getting married during the summer of 2018.  Whether you choose to get married, striving to stay married or want to learn how to better love...a highly recommended point of reflection to consider.  

Yes!  You're in!  One noticed that we did not end the 'Phil and Amy' audio episode with discussion questions for you and spouse and/or couples group.  Respect!  Thank you!  BTW, while we are at it, if you ever have a burning question or suggestion for improvement, you can hit us up anytime at FriDudes.com.So if this is the first episode you are catching these questions may puzzle you.  Back up one episode and these questions will make total sense.  For those ahead of the game, here are your Chapter 6 questions...BONUS QUESTIONS for your next date, couple or group time...What was your favorite part of what Phil and Amy shared?  Why?This will take some guts to answer.  Just like Phil and Amy boldly shared, which behavior(s) do you need to change?  Since we are all flawed, there is always room for improvement.  Do not let your pride get in the way.  You confess what you could work on and then ask your spouse/significant other what you could work on.  BTW, this question is ongoing for the life of your relationship.  At least monthly, review and audit.Based on your answers above, how long have you been trying to change this behavior on your own?  If for longer than a month, have you consulted a professional such as a therapist, counselor, pastor, etc, or relevant group that addresses above?  Would you?  When?

Yes!  You are in!!  Whether you are married or not, I bet you can relate to a relationship that starts off HOT!  Eventually, it will go colder or even ice cold and you two will need to make a choice.  Yes, love becomes a choice.  Eventually to keep any relationship alive, you are going to have to make some choices.  Do we keep working on this?  Choosing to try.  Choosing to forgive, show grace, mercy and choosing to Love with action.  Action, sometimes, means change.  Changing destructive behaviors and adding constructive ones.  And yes, sometimes we need a counselor or coach to get there.  So, without further adieu, here is Phil and Amy, getting real and pursuing Truth.  Some of you may recall this interview from a couple of years ago.  In my mind, it is priceless and timeless and it makes the "Every Marriage is...Flawed" book.  Sharing what works and didn't in their marriage...

Speaking of truth, I was an a-hole.  Ok, depending on who you talk to today, I can still be an a-hole.  Just ask any of my family, friends and fellow citizens.  You will find ‘Worst Boyfriend In The World’ (WBITW) on the opposite end of the ‘Soulmate’ spectrum.  If you were to look up ‘Soulmate’ in the thesaurus, WBITW would surely be the antonym, not the synonym.

Unmet Expectations - Reality = Disillusionment.  The formula applies to everyone.  Your expectations of your spouse (or anyone or anything for that matter) on any given day minus the reality of what he/she is going to do = your disillusionment.