Whenever we ask our kids a question, whenever we try to get them to open up, there are two dreaded responses: Silence “I don’t know.” When this keeps happening, we should first check that we aren’t asking boring questions. Or that we are asking questions that deserve to be asked. They need to be worth the effort and breath we are expending. But sometimes, kids just need a primer.

You can tell when a little boy has had no masculine influence in his life. When I take my kids to parks that contain lots of other children, these emasculated boys stick out like a tone-deaf singer in a choir. They might as well be orphans. They are desperate for a father. They’ll take a fake one. Anything.

And this is what childhood is all about. Learning to make the right decisions when the stakes are small, the risks are minimal, and the consequences minor.

When we teach them something, we are coming from a position of experience and knowledge. It’s hard to go back to the beginner’s mind and speak from foundational principles. What words do we need to define? What concepts do we need to elaborate on?

As your children grow and you begin to give them jobs, you will quickly find yourself in several predicaments. And you must require excellence. This episode goes over several reasons why a child might be do something with excellence and the different responses a father should have.

Never reward the first one to come yelling to you for help without having a firm understanding of the situation. There are no easy answers here. But if both sides feel they have been listened to, things usually go better, no matter what your decision.

The book has been launched. This is a free preview. Buy it at https://foundationfather.gumroad.com/l/hSKHP

Admit your own fears, and your kids will trust you to help them deal with theirs.

While there are many attributes that a “good friend” will have, there is one that is critical. A lack of envy. Agamemnon gives a clarifying speech about so-called friends.

Gravitas means you have weight. People tend to conflate it with somberness and over-seriousness, but the men who have the most gravitas usually have an equal amount of charisma. But true fathers have gravitas. They have a weight that attracts and influences. If you want to have influence on your children, and on others around you (including young men who are looking for good models of fatherhood), then you need to cultivate and promote your own gravitas.